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Family Won’t Stop A Child From Biting, Then Freaks Out When A Teen Does

by Annie Nguyen
January 8, 2026
in Social Issues

When adults fail to step in, kids sometimes feel forced to solve problems on their own. This 16 year old had been repeatedly bitten by her nonverbal cousin during family gatherings, all while being expected to help watch him. Despite multiple incidents, no one intervened or offered her any real protection.

Eventually, she came up with a solution that made the biting stop almost instantly. The result seemed harmless at first, but once she shared it with a friend, doubts started creeping in.

Was her action an understandable response to being ignored, or did she handle the situation the wrong way? Keep reading to find out what happened.

A teen secretly coats her jacket sleeves with hot sauce to stop her nonverbal cousin from biting her

Family Won’t Stop A Child From Biting, Then Freaks Out When A Teen Does
not the actual photo

'AITAH for spilling hot sauce on my sleeves and teaching my nonverbal cousin not to bite?'

Before you say anything it was just Tapatío not ghost pepper or scotch bonnet or anything.

I have a four year old cousin that is nonverbal. He is a reasonably good kid but he bites.

And since I'm the oldest non adult whenever our families get together I'm the designated child care for all the kids including him.

He but me over the summer. He bit me at Thanksgiving and Christmas. He has bitten me many times.

So I've been wearing my jean jacket around him for protection. Nobody else will do anything to help me so I helped myself.

New Year's Eve I spilled a bunch of Mexican hit sauce on the sleeves and cuffs of my jacket.

He bit me. Then he stopped really fast and started screaming. Everyone came to check in him but he wasn't hurt. He finally settled down.

I washed my jacket on the first and didn't say anything.

My aunt came over yesterday and I wore my jacket. He settled down and played. He didn't bite me.

I told a friend of mine what I did and she said I was wrong for doing that.

I don't know. He needed to stop and my aunt wasn't doing anything. 16F by the way.

There’s a quiet kind of fear that comes from being hurt repeatedly while the adults around you shrug it off. It’s the feeling of realizing that your safety is negotiable and that you’re expected to tolerate pain because no one wants to deal with the harder problem underneath it.

In this situation, the OP wasn’t trying to discipline her cousin or prove a point. She was a 16-year-old trying to stop being bitten after months of no one stepping in to protect her.

At the emotional center of this story is a deep imbalance of responsibility. The OP was consistently placed in charge of childcare, including a four-year-old nonverbal child with a known biting behavior.

Biting at that age, especially for a child who can’t communicate verbally, isn’t cruelty. It’s communication. But that doesn’t make it harmless. Being bitten over and over is painful, frightening, and can easily escalate.

What pushed this situation into crisis territory wasn’t the hot sauce. It was the fact that adults repeatedly failed to intervene, teach alternatives, or set boundaries. When that happens, children often move into self-protection mode and improvise solutions because nothing else has worked.

A different way to look at the OP’s action is through the lens of necessity rather than intent. She didn’t hit her cousin, restrain him, or cause injury. She altered the outcome of the behavior in a way that was immediate and clear.

For many nonverbal children, cause-and-effect learning relies heavily on sensory feedback. The reaction wasn’t prolonged pain, but surprise.

The behavior stopped because the experience changed. The uncomfortable truth is that this worked precisely because no one else had introduced a consistent response before.

Experts widely agree that biting in young, nonverbal, or autistic children is often a form of communication tied to frustration, sensory overload, or unmet needs.

Zero to Three explains that biting is commonly a way for children to express emotions they can’t yet articulate and should be addressed by identifying triggers and teaching safer alternatives, not ignored.

Similarly, Inclusive ABA notes that biting in autistic or nonverbal children is considered a “challenging behavior” that serves a purpose and requires structured, adult-led intervention to reduce safely and consistently.

This is where the situation truly failed. Behavior modification should never fall on another child. The OP should not have been the one experimenting with solutions, especially at her age.

That responsibility belongs to caregivers trained to respond calmly, consistently, and safely. Her choice wasn’t ideal, but it was born out of neglect, not malice.

The most realistic takeaway here isn’t about blaming a teenager. It’s about accountability. The OP deserves protection and the right to refuse a role that puts her at risk. Her aunt needs professional guidance and consistent strategies. And the adults involved need to recognize that ignoring harmful behavior doesn’t make it disappear.

When children are left to solve adult problems, their solutions may be imperfect, but that doesn’t make them wrong. It makes the failure upstream impossible to ignore.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters praised the clever, creative solution and saw it as smart problem-solving

Physical_Front6662 − NTA and I am proud of you for coming up with something simultaneously villainous, educational, and harmless.

I do not think I would have come up with such a neat solution at that age.

MizWhatsit − NTA. As far as aversion training goes, that was very clever.

And human bites are absolutely filthy. You could have gotten a bad infection from any of those bites.

Ok-Essay4201 − Remember this for your next job interview if they ask something about "how did you solve a difficult problem creatively"

This group agreed personal boundaries matter and actions have consequences

CraftingFutures133 − NTA you have every right to do whatever you want with your clothes. He has the consequence of his actions.

[Reddit User] − NTA it's your sleeve. You're free to put whatever you want on it. If he didn't like the taste, he shouldn't have bit you.

Hot sauce is actually a pretty common way to teach little ones not to bite. Unpleasant enough to make a point, but not at all harmful.

His parents are assholes for not teaching him to stop biting and for forcing you to watch him.

BenefitOfTheDoubt2 − NTA, I applaud you! You communicated with him in a way he understood.

He needs to learn about appropriate behavior and consequences. This will make his life easier, not to mention yours.

These Redditors argued childcare responsibility was unfairly pushed onto the OP

HoneyedVinegar42 − NTA. You shouldn't be the designated child care, anyway.

(And the parents should be responsible for this particular cousin and/or pay a dedicated & trained person to provide child care for him. )

allersoothe − NTA because since when is it just your job to look after this disabled kid?

Comeback_321 − NTA. Also, you don’t have to watch the kids. That’s called parentification.

The parents still need to be parents even if you kindly keep an eye on them.

This group blamed the parents for failing to correct dangerous behavior

Author_Noelle_A − NTA, but the kid’s parents are. What’s the plan for when he gets older and stronger and can bite much, much harder?

rosegoldblonde − NTA. All the adults letting him do that are complete AHs.

Icy-Clue8903 − NTA. Taught him a lesson and that should have been his Mom’s job,

but since she delegated that to you (by not doing it), you got the job done.

These commenters stressed the method was harmless and human bites are serious

NopeNotMeOverHere − As a parent to (now grown) Autistic children, I think this was a creative and harmless way to take care of the biting.

It also shows that he is capable of learning that there is a consequence to bad behavior.

Hopefully this will deter him from biting people altogether.

Too many parents to neurodivergent children use the diagnosis as an excuse as to why they can’t be taught right from wrong.

FugglerFan − Absolutely NTA. It didn’t cause actual pain and getting a hot tongue is not a big deal.

This coming from a 55+ yr old mom of 3. All of whom bit me. Once. It then I bit them back. I don’t recommend that.

hedwigflysagain − NTA, your family is failing you. Human bites are dangerous. Time to start refusing to babysit.

Many Redditors praised the teen’s calm creativity, while others focused on the deeper failure of parental accountability.

Was her solution a reasonable form of self-protection, or a sign that the adults dropped the ball entirely? Should teens ever be placed in this position at all? Share your thoughts below.

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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