They say time heals all wounds, but some betrayals cut too deep for age to soften. Being kicked out as a teenager leaves a kind of scar that follows you into adulthood, one built from fear, loneliness, and survival.
For this man, that painful night from the 1990s never really left him. His parents may have moved on, but he never forgot being handed twenty dollars and left to figure life out alone. Now, as they grow older and seek connection, he’s grappling with a painful truth: Does forgiveness mean pretending the past didn’t happen?
A Redditor opened up about a childhood scar that time hasn’t softened
Family estrangement is one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences. According to Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist and author of When Parents Hurt, “People assume reconciliation is always the moral goal, but sometimes distance is the healthiest option.”
Research supports that. A 2024 study in Psychology Today found that at least one in four adults is estranged from at least one family member, often due to emotional or physical abuse during adolescence.
The long-term effects? Chronic anxiety, trust issues, and difficulty forming secure relationships. When a child’s sense of safety is shattered, it rewires how they attach to others.
What makes this story especially painful is the false justification. Kicking out a teenager to “teach them a lesson” isn’t discipline, it’s abandonment.
Trauma expert Dr. Nicole LePera notes that “conditional love from parents teaches children that safety must be earned.” In adulthood, that often translates into emotional detachment. Not because they don’t feel, but because they’ve learned to survive without feeling too much.
From a moral standpoint, the question of “owing care” becomes complex. Many cultures emphasize filial duty, caring for aging parents regardless of the past. But mental health experts argue that boundaries are not cruel; they are self-respect. Reconnecting, if ever, should come from genuine healing, not guilt or obligation.
This man’s hesitation isn’t heartlessness; it’s the aftermath of betrayal. Compassion doesn’t mean erasing history. As Dr. LePera once said, “Healing doesn’t always end in reconciliation. Sometimes it ends in peace.”
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
These Redditors firmly supported OP, saying abandoning a child like that is unforgivable
This group shared personal stories of being kicked out as teens
This user’s emotional account warned of the lasting psychological toll of childhood neglect
Abandonment leaves scars that time doesn’t easily erase and forgiveness doesn’t always equal reconnection. The Redditor’s decision not to care for his parents isn’t about revenge; it’s about emotional survival. They taught him indifference when he was a boy, and now he’s simply returning the lesson.
Sometimes “doing the hard thing” means walking away. Sometimes, it means choosing yourself over the people who once chose to leave you behind.
Would you give care to parents who abandoned you, or let the past rest where they left you, alone at sixteen?
