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He Traded His Family for an Affair – Now He’s Alone and Filled With Regret

by Jeffrey Stone
September 28, 2025
in Social Issues

Infidelity stories usually feel like something ripped from a soap opera, but sometimes the drama comes straight from real life. One man, a husband and father of two, shared how he destroyed his marriage, his family life, and his stability for a short-lived affair.

What started as a search for attention ended with divorce papers, limited time with his children, and a roommate replacing his once-loving spouse. His confession is both heartbreaking and eye-opening, serving as a powerful reminder of how quickly trust can crumble when selfish choices take over.

This is not just a messy breakup story. It is a raw look at how a person with a seemingly perfect life can throw it all away for validation, only to be left with regret.

From ignoring his wife’s pleas for more connection to chasing excitement with someone new, his decisions slowly tore apart the very foundation of his home. Curious to see how it all unfolded? Here’s the full breakdown.

He Traded His Family for an Affair - Now He’s Alone and Filled With Regret

This Redditor’s tale is a wild ride through love, betrayal, and regret! Check out the full post below:

'Don’t be like me?'

Edit: I did not expect any sympathy but I still got some very nice supportive messages, thank you for that. I deserved every angry comment and I don’t blame anyone...

My wife and I were together 9 years, married 6 when I started my affair. We have two kids. I didn’t realize just how good I had it.

She was a supportive, loving, kind woman who put me and the kids before herself every time, and I didn’t appreciate that.

I felt like she didn’t praise me enough for the things I did for the family, which I now realize was pretty bare bones compared to what she did for...

I felt like we didn’t have s__ enough and like my efforts to look good for her weren’t appreciated or reciprocated. I resented how much time she spent with the...

I thought she didn’t put in enough effort to be interested in my hobbies.

My AP was ten years younger than me, when the affair started I was 31 and she was 21.

I liked the attention from a younger woman who wasn’t always tired from keeping up with the kids and who stroked my inflated ego. I was a selfish b__tard.

I drank too much, I told my wife I was working late or hanging out with friends when really I was with my AP.

My wife trusted me completely and the affair had carried on for almost two years by the time I initiated the separation.

She wasn’t blindsided, she’d been asking me to be more present and to put more work into our marriage and into parenting.

I refused every time citing the fact that I was the primary earner and that was enough. But she was upset, and asked if there was someone else.

I said no, but her suspicions were finally coming up and she checked my Apple Watch, and found everything she needed to know.

Even though I’d moved out, I hadn’t filed, but my wife did. She confronted my AP and told her she hoped she would be a good stepmother to our kids,...

At the time I thought my wife was out of line and being spiteful. Now I’m alone. AP took those words to heart and realized she didn’t want to be...

She broke up with me after a few months, saying that she wasnt in love with me and never had been. She just liked the attention.

I can’t say I had any different reasoning for being in an affair so I couldn’t even be mad.

My wife has full custody and I see the kids every other weekend. She went back to work and put both kids in daycare, which I pay for.

It’s expensive. They still have the house and I’ve got a roommate.

All my wife wanted was me to put in effort and to recognize hers. I only focused on myself. I didn’t date her.

I was selfish in bed when we did have s__ and didn’t listen to her when she asked for more effort in that regard.

My 7-year-old asked me recently if I was going to get a girlfriend, because Mom has a boyfriend.

I didn’t know my ex was dating, but I hope it’s with someone who gives her everything I didnt.

If you’re in an affair, end it. Block and delete them, if they’re at your job quit and find a new one. If they’re at a coffee shop you go...

If they’re just a fantasy, stop it and start fantasizing about your future with your spouse. If you’re thinking of starting an affair, do the same, and refocus that energy...

I’ve never been more lonely in my life and never been filled with more regret. I wish I had a time machine and I know she does too, but not...

The Story

According to his own words, the man admitted to a two-year affair that unraveled everything he had built with his wife. While she worked hard to balance the kids, the house, and her career, he looked elsewhere for appreciation. His affair partner gave him the attention he craved, but when the reality of family responsibilities entered the picture, she backed out.

The fallout was brutal. His wife discovered the truth, and the marriage ended. He went from living in a cozy home with his children to seeing them part-time and sharing space with a roommate. What he thought would bring him happiness instead left him filled with regret and longing for the stability he once took for granted.

Expert Opinion

Relationship experts say this story is a textbook example of poor communication and misplaced priorities.

He assumed that providing financially was enough, while his wife was asking for emotional support and partnership. When he ignored those signals, the gap between them grew until the affair filled the void.

A 2023 study from the Gottman Institute revealed that 67 percent of couples cite poor communication as a major factor in marital breakdown.

Dr. John Gottman himself has explained that “marriages don’t die with a bang; they erode slowly when partners stop turning toward each other.” In this case, the husband didn’t just stop turning toward his wife, he turned away completely.

Therapist Esther Perel has also pointed out that “the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.” Instead of addressing his feelings of being underappreciated, he chose to chase validation outside his marriage.

Small changes, like planning date nights, taking on more parenting responsibilities, or trying couples therapy, might have preserved the bond. Instead, the lack of effort led to collapse.

The Bigger Picture

This story also reflects a wider problem in many relationships: unspoken expectations and unchecked resentment. When one partner feels invisible, the temptation to seek attention elsewhere grows.

But as this man’s experience shows, the cost of giving in can be devastating. His short-term thrill destroyed the long-term stability of his family, leaving him with deep regret and a future he did not plan for.

Check out how the community responded:

Some felt he got exactly what he deserved, calling his decisions selfish and shortsighted.

[Reddit User] − I don’t know if people are giving this enough credit for its potential deterrence value, honestly. He doesn’t claim he’s a victim.

He doesn’t justify anything he did. He provides reasons which seem to be common for affairs to begin,

and his relatability on that front might cause someone thinking about an affair to stop and pay attention, I would think. I dunno.

I think it’s a valuable post.

llcoolray3000 − You deserve what has happened to you, but trying to warn others to learn from you is commendable.

I hope others take your advice, but sadly, most people who choose that path think their situation is different/unique.

Keep working on yourself. Your redemption will come through being the best dad you can be during the limited time you have with your kids.

Pour your energy and effort into them.

MommaBear817 − It's the 80/20 Rule. You have 80%, a life with your spouse and kids, homely comfort and family meals, but you look over to the 20% you don't...

It's so new and shiny and of course you want it because you don't have it.

But you give up the entire 80 for that little slice of 20 without even realizing everything you've lost for it until it's said and done.

I had never heard this before but my husband and I were watching TV together several months ago,

I was talking mad s__t on the chick in the show for cheating on her husband and my husband hit me with the 80/20 rule. I was like damn, that's...

You gave up your nice big 80 for a shiny 20 you don't even get to keep.

Get therapy, work on yourself and actually strive to change and improve yourself. Be a present father for your kids, be amicable in your co-parenting.

There is nothing you can do to change what you have done to your wife and your family, so stand up, be a man and do the right things for...

Others pointed out that his story is a reminder for everyone to take their partner’s needs seriously before things spiral.

[Reddit User] − Wow. These comments really are unnecessary. OP, thank you for being vulnerable and telling us your story. It’s clear you’ve done a lot of soul searching lately.

I see a lot of “at the time”s and “I thought”s. Never once do I see you try to get her back or asking for sympathy. It’s a painful read...

It was a long term mistake that resulted in massive damages to your family and you. You can’t take that back, and based off this post- you know that.

You also are aware that you can’t “fix” this. You’ve also mentioned how you hope your ex’s new beau is good to her and treats her better than she received...

People can’t just disappear after an affair. That’s not how life works.

OP has made MASSIVE strides in his thinking and I don’t see any reason why reminding him he made a horrific decision that massively hurt his ex

and most importantly his kids in the cruelest manner helps anything. He knows that. The whole post shows that he knows that.

Like the title said: “Don’t be like me. ”, I believe this post wasn’t for personal attention, sympathy etc.

I believe OP truly shared it because he thought it could help someone, like he said in the last sentence, who is in an affair, or just starting to fall...

Last thing I wanted to say was when talking to your kids- don’t lie.

They don’t need to know everything, you can keep it age appropriate but let them know people make horrific mistakes and sometimes they have permanent consequences.

Hiding the truth or trying to dance around it will only continue to hurt them. Thank you again OP. Please remember to give yourself grace.

You did a s__tty stupid thing, but you’re putting in the work to see what you did and it sounds like you’re working on yourself and I hope you allow...

Not all cheaters take the time to look within after. Continuing to beat yourself up ruthlessly won’t help anyone, especially your kids.

2020grilledcheese − This is really sad. For all of you. I’m glad your wife stood up for herself and ended it with you. Hard lesson to learn.

A few commenters admitted they had faced similar feelings of neglect but had chosen communication instead of betrayal, which saved their marriages.

[Reddit User] − Many people forget that the grass is only greener on the other side if you fail to water your own lawn.

Beneficial-Cow-2544 − If you’re in an affair, end it. Block and delete them, if they’re at your job quit and find a new one.

If they’re at a coffee shop you go to find a different one. If they’re just a fantasy, stop it and start fantasizing about your future with your spouse.

If you’re thinking of starting an affair, do the same, and refocus that energy onto your spouse. I’ve never been more lonely in my life and never been filled with...

I wish I had a time machine and I know she does too, but not for the reasons I do. Ya know what? Sending you a virtual big hug.

I've been where you've been but so far, was able to save my marriage.

I still deal with a ton of regret, remorse, anxiety, etc but the experience as a whole has changed me for the better and I've committed to those changes and...

People will throw you constant venom and hate but hoping you make healthy, permanent changes so you never put anyone in this position again. You CAN change.

You ARE redeemable. Sometimes we learn the toughest life lessons only by going through them.

Use this as your fuel for a better you and better future. I wish you and your family hugs and healing.

Illustrious_Ad_00 − Honestly thanks you for sharing. I can’t imagine the guilt and regret that you’re feeling.

All married couples experience temptation in some form or another and it’s up to that person to stay away for the health of that marriage.

I’m assuming this is fresh and there is a long way to go but I hope you can find happiness one day.

[Reddit User] − Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. at least you learned your lesson. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side; it’s green where you water it.

Kinda sounds like you’re just sad you’re alone, not because you actually lost your wife. I doubt you’d be saying the same if your side piece was still will that...

ReserveTall3811 − Spare us the pity party. You wouldn’t be writing here if you were still with AP. You had the audacity to think your wife was spiteful and out...

Who are you to even say that when you destroyed your family? Is that not the most spiteful and out of line behavior a person can ever engage in?

You said you were the earner and that was good enough not to show up to your marriage so don’t come here to complain about childcare being expensive.

Heal, go to therapy and leave ur ex wife alone. You don’t deserve her

The general tone was clear: sympathy for his wife and kids, and disappointment toward him.

This man’s regret-filled confession is a painful lesson in what happens when ego outweighs commitment. He once had the stability of a loving wife and family but traded it for fleeting validation, only to be left with broken trust and deep remorse.

His story makes one thing clear: love does not survive on autopilot. It takes effort, communication, and presence.

Was his search for attention worth losing everything? Or did he only realize too late that true happiness comes from investing in the people who stand by you?

How would you handle feeling underappreciated in a marriage by having an honest conversation or by walking away?

 

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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