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Husband Can’t Believe Wife Made Him Take The Day Off To Care For Their Sick Kid Instead Of Her

by Layla Bui
January 17, 2026
in Social Issues

Workplace responsibilities do not disappear just because a child wakes up sick, and for many parents, that reality creates impossible choices. Someone always pays the price, whether it is a paycheck, professional obligations, or emotional resentment.

This woman faced that exact dilemma when her child was sent home with pinkeye and could not return to school the next day. With no one available to help, she and her husband had to decide who would stay home. On paper, the decision seemed straightforward. In reality, it reopened an ongoing tension in their marriage.

Her husband assumed she would step in, while she felt she already had many times before. As frustration over lost overtime mixed with feelings about unequal parenting, the situation escalated. Now she is asking strangers online if choosing her work this time makes her selfish or simply fair.

One working mother faced a sudden childcare crisis after her child was sent home with pinkeye, forcing a parent to stay home

Husband Can’t Believe Wife Made Him Take The Day Off To Care For Their Sick Kid Instead Of Her
not actual the photo

'AITA for making my husband take the day off with our sick kid instead of me?'

AITA for making my husband take the day off unpaid to stay home with our kid? Kiddo came home with pinkeye last night.

Husband didn’t notice when he picked her up, but by the time I got home it was obvious.

I immediately went and got her the required drops to clear it up.

Per our health unit rules; she has to have been on drops for 24 hours AND have no eye goop before returning to school.

So someone has to stay home today. At best she returns tomorrow. We asked everyone. 6 different family/friends.

No one is available. So one of us has to stay home. Here are the facts: I work in healthcare, I have a full schedule of patients today.

I am only in this clinic once a week so rescheduling my day is challenging. There is no one to cover.

these patients would have to wait at least another week to see me.

He works in a warehouse and delivers building material for contractors, builders, and homeowners.

There are deliveries scheduled, but he didn’t say anything was urgent. I have sick days and personal days remaining.

He does not get sick days, but could move a vacation day. I am salaried, and the breadwinner.

He works hourly and will lose a day’s pay, BUT he is working an extra day this week so it will balance out.

He WILL, however, lose the extra day and the overtime.

I have already said that I will stay home tomorrow if needed, even though it would mean rescheduling a bunch more patients

(but it’s a clinic I’m in four days a week so rescheduling it’s a lot easier).  AITA for making him take the day off unpaid?.

ETA info down thread (thanks to the user who curated this!). Missing info people

He assumed I would volunteer to take the day off and is a bit pissed about having to take the day off.

There is also an underlying element of the mother being the default parent here that I’m constantly up against.

He is mad about missing out on overtime. I have already committed to taking tomorrow off.

And I have already taken two other days off when kiddo was sick. He has not.

AITA for making my husband take the day off unpaid to stay home with our kid? Kiddo came home with pinkeye last night.

Husband didn’t notice when he picked her up, but by the time I got home it was obvious.

I immediately went and got her the required drops to clear it up.

Per our health unit rules; she has to have been on drops for 24 hours AND have no eye goop before returning to school.

So someone has to stay home today. At best she returns tomorrow. We asked everyone. 6 different family/friends.

No one is available. So one of us has to stay home. Here are the facts: I work in healthcare, I have a full schedule of patients today.

I am only in this clinic once a week so rescheduling my day is challenging. There is no one to cover.

these patients would have to wait at least another week to see me.

He works in a warehouse and delivers building material for contractors, builders, and homeowners.

There are deliveries scheduled, but he didn’t say anything was urgent. I have sick days and personal days remaining.

He does not get sick days, but could move a vacation day. I am salaried, and the breadwinner.

He works hourly and will lose a day’s pay, BUT he is working an extra day this week so it will balance out.

He WILL, however, lose the extra day and the overtime.

I have already said that I will stay home tomorrow if needed, even though it would mean rescheduling a bunch more patients

(but it’s a clinic I’m in four days a week so rescheduling it’s a lot easier).  AITA for making him take the day off unpaid?.

ETA info down thread (thanks to the user who curated this!). Missing info people

He assumed I would volunteer to take the day off and is a bit pissed about having to take the day off.

There is also an underlying element of the mother being the default parent here that I’m constantly up against.

He is mad about missing out on overtime. I have already committed to taking tomorrow off.

And I have already taken two other days off when kiddo was sick. He has not.

At first glance, this disagreement looks like a simple numbers game: one parent loses overtime, and the other disrupts an entire clinic day. But zoom out just a little, and the real conflict comes into focus: not money, not schedules, but expectation.

Research consistently shows that when a child gets sick, families often default to deeply ingrained caregiving roles.

According to a Pew Research Center study on working parents, mothers are still significantly more likely than fathers to handle childcare responsibilities such as staying home with a sick child, even when both parents work full time and contribute financially to the household.

That finding mirrors the emotional undercurrent in this story. The husband didn’t initially weigh urgency, income, or logistics; he assumed his wife would step in. That assumption matters. It suggests that caregiving wasn’t viewed as a shared responsibility to negotiate but as something automatically assigned.

From the husband’s perspective, the frustration over losing overtime is understandable. Hourly workers often experience time off as a direct financial penalty, which can feel more immediate than salaried disruptions.

But research from the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) highlights a broader imbalance: working mothers are far more likely than fathers to report that they usually take care of sick children who cannot attend school. This gap persists even in households where women are primary earners.

Experts note that this imbalance often leads to long-term resentment, not because one partner stays home once, but because the same partner is expected to absorb the disruption repeatedly. Over time, this can quietly erode a sense of fairness and partnership.

In this case, the mother’s reasoning wasn’t rooted in superiority or status. It was situational logic: canceling her workday would ripple out to multiple patients with limited access to care, while her partner’s schedule, though inconvenient, was more flexible that day.

Importantly, she also committed to staying home the following day, signaling compromise rather than avoidance.

The takeaway here isn’t about who should stay home; it’s about how these decisions are made. Experts often recommend that couples establish clear, pre-agreed guidelines for sick days before emotions run high.

Whether that’s alternating days, factoring in schedule impact, or tracking caregiving over time, transparency prevents assumptions from becoming silent rules.

Ultimately, parenting conflicts often surface where unspoken expectations live. And until those expectations are named and renegotiated, the same argument will keep showing up, just with a different illness next time.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

These commenters agreed the husband should stay home since parenting comes first

Willing-Helicopter26 − NTA. He is a parent first and has less urgent work to be done. He should stay home for the day.

_A_Brit_Abroad_ − NTA It makes sense for him to stay home with your schedules.

lejosdecasa − NTA Dads are parents too! Looking after a sick kid is part of being a parent.

[Reddit User] − NTA and also your seems more complicated to change and you are the breadwinner ALSO both of you are the parent, so.

Willing-Helicopter26 − NTA. He is a parent first and has less urgent work to be done. He should stay home for the day.

_A_Brit_Abroad_ − NTA It makes sense for him to stay home with your schedules.

lejosdecasa − NTA Dads are parents too! Looking after a sick kid is part of being a parent.

[Reddit User] − NTA and also your seems more complicated to change and you are the breadwinner ALSO both of you are the parent, so.

This group called out default parenting and criticized assuming mom must sacrifice

Help24-7 − Missing info people He assumed I would volunteer to take the day off and is a bit pissed about having to take the day off.

There is also an underlying element of the mother being the default parent here that I’m constantly up against.

He is mad about missing out on overtime. Absolutely. I have already committed to taking tomorrow off.

And I have already taken two other days off when kiddo was sick. He has not. NTA He's mad cause she won't take the time off.

She's already taken time off to care for kiddo being sick and will take more time off the day after.

She's literally asking him to take one day off finally and provide the sick care their child needs.

And he's mad cause he feels it's not his responsibility? Nope. He's lucky you bothered asking around.

I couldn't figure out WHY you asked 6 other people to take care of your kiddo BEFORE him taking the day off. Now we know why.

Sammakko660 − In other words, once again, the woman is automatically assumed to be the one to do all of the childcare.

Seriously, calling half a dozen other people before asking the PARENT to stay home with the child. That says alot.

There are 2 parents, it is not unreasonable to expect the other one to take a day off to watch a sick child.

Stormiealways − NTA He's more able to take the day off without inconveniencing 13 other people.

He assumed I would volunteer to take the day off Why? Because you have boobs so it's your "job"?

and is a bit pissed about having to take the day off. Tough, welcome to parenthood mister

They backed OP, stressing patient care disruption and job realities matter

Easy-Tip-7860 − NTA. It is very difficult for patients in a clinic to reschedule.

You’re not saying your job is more important (at least I hope not) you’re saying this is a particularly difficult day to reschedule.

You’re willing to do that the next day if needed where you have more options for patients.

It is difficult for your husband as well losing a vacay and money no doubt. Compromises are part of parenting.

lindsey4242 − NTA. It is NOT a problem that you feel committed to your patients and your job.

These users emphasized fairness through rotating sick days between parents

genkichan − Not really AH. family needs to pick the lesser of the evils in this situation.

I hope you are generally taking turns with a sick child, every time so it balances out.

[Reddit User] − I don't quiet get the y-t-a votes. Sharing the days staying home is incrdible normal.

And while already being the breadwinner, she somehow is also alone responsible for taking of every time

the child is sick and getting them treatment in the first place. What is the game plan here?

Op not getting actual days of or vacation days because she uses them caring for the child and husband would lose out on money?

Husband never taking of days because money or husband taking days of when feeling like it?

This user backed OP but pushed for a fair long-term system over blame

Reddit User] − NTA. He takes the first day, you the next for this time.

It is the best solution to the problem of today, as you staying home would involve 13 other people.

But you guys need to talk about how you will handle these issues in the future.

This discussion should take place when you are both full and rested and not upset. at each other. I suggest that you take a walk together.

I find talking about difficult things is easier walking arm-in-arm than sitting at the table and looking at each other.

You need to decide how you are going to decide who stays home with the kid.

Example: If the sick day is on on your once-a-week day, then he is the first call.

Any other day, you are because you wont lose a days pay. Or some other setup that feels fair to both, that will not get anyone fired,

will have the least impact on family finances, and will not affect any of the careers negatively. Gender should not be a factor in this.

This commenter agreed NTA but raised practical health responsibility concerns

[Reddit User] − NTA, but as someone who accesses health care a lot, I sincerely hope you washed your hands well before going in to work.

This group focused on the unhealthy assumption and need for joint decision-making

[Reddit User] − He assumed I would volunteer to take the day off and is a bit pissed about having to take the day off.

Without this bolded bit, I would've judged this N A H because from observing my parent friends,

it seems super normal for parents to have some back-and-forth "discussions" about who is going to stay home when a kid is sick,

and even having some stress/frustration when they're the one to do it and have to rearrange work stuff as a result.

But yeah, just assuming that you-as-Mommy will take the day off makes this NTA for me.

You're both totally allowed to state your cases here to figure out who can do it, but from what you've laid out, it's a no-brainer that this time should be...

SpecialistHoney6478 − What does he say about the situation? You are a couple, you don't make him do it, you decide together.

NTA, because your point of view seems logical to me, but it strikes me that you seem to be collecting reasons for him to do what you want.

This story struck a nerve not because a parent stayed home, but because of who was expected to. Many readers sympathized with the mother’s logic, while others zeroed in on the unspoken pattern behind the conflict.

Was asking her husband to take one unpaid day a fair trade for years of assumed responsibility or a conversation that should’ve happened long ago?

How would you handle sick-day duty in a household where both jobs matter? Drop your thoughts below; we’re curious where you land.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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