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Teen Cuts Her Hair While Grieving A Friend, Loses Job And Family Support Overnight

by Layla Bui
January 27, 2026
in Social Issues

When someone grows up carrying responsibilities far beyond their age, the line between personal autonomy and obligation can become dangerously blurred. Add grief into the mix, and even small acts of self expression can feel like rebellion rather than coping.

In this case, a teenager who has spent most of her life working under tightly controlled expectations found herself drowning after the death of a close friend.

In a moment of emotional desperation, she made a physical change that symbolized release. That choice immediately triggered professional fallout and intense family backlash, with financial fears taking center stage.

Now she is caught between guilt over the impact on others and a quiet certainty that she needed to grieve on her own terms. The question is whether she crossed a line, or whether the line should never have existed in the first place.

After losing a close friend, a teen model cuts her hair despite a contract banning it

Teen Cuts Her Hair While Grieving A Friend, Loses Job And Family Support Overnight
not the actual photo

'AITA for cutting my hair after a friend's death despite a contract that dictates what I'm allowed to do - or not to do - with my hair?'

I've "lost" my job and have been ostracized by my family, so I figured I'd come to the court of public opinion.

One of my best friends of over ten years lost her battle with the big C word on Christmas.

F__k cancer, y'all. I'm not handling it well, tbh. I feel like a really crazy person.

I literally haven't stopped crying. Through all the tumultuous emotions, I decided that I wanted to cut my hair.

I don't know why, but I felt like I wanted to get rid of a psychological weight and my hair was suffocating me.

I 'model' and I've been doing it pretty much my whole life. My family is upper middle class due to my income.

My parents 'work' as my managers, even though I had actual, hired, experienced managers throughout the years.

My dad works part time elsewhere, but I am the main breadwinner in the family.

Part of my current contract was that I can't cut my hair without prior consent from managing parties or else my contract could be rendered void.

It wasn't really an issue until now.

For a week, I tried to get consent, but nobody wanted to give it.

So, over the weekend, I locked myself in my bathroom and chopped off almost all of my hair.

I didn't go as extreme as 2007 Brittany, but I was definitely channeling her energy. Now I look like Steve from Stranger Things.

I don't feel a lot better, but it was kind of cathartic. I'm glad I did it. My life changed, and I physically reflect that now.

Now I'm unemployed, though, cause I was released from my contract and as soon as I'm done with high school, my family wants me gone.

I know that I jeopardized my family's financial security, and my parents are scrambling to figure out how to pay the bills

because I may have been an immature a__hole, but, I dunno, maybe it's grief, but I feel pretty apathetic about it.

I wanted to grieve in my own way. Am I the a__hole for that?

UPDATE: 6.35PM So I talked to a few folks today, and I was sent a copy of the email exchanges that ultimately ended my contract.

My contract was set to expire in June, but I wasn't booking until May to give myself time to finish up my last semester in high school.

Instead of terminating my contract or 'firing me', I was released from my contract in a really nice way.

I won't copy/paste, but the gist is;

Here at Company we value the health and safety of all our employees and it seems that Brittany is going through a hard time.

Let's release her from her responsibility so she can enjoy school, and should she decide to come back

after high school or freshman year of college, she'll be welcomed back into the agency.

They even sent a .pdf of therapists or counselors that I might wanna talk to.

I talked to my old manager and she set me up in contact with a lawyer and already has access to copies of my documents,

which she sent me in .pdf, too. I also contacted Jasmine's mom, who said that I can move in to finish hs if I'm kicked out in March.

I'm not gunna say much, but what my parents were doing was definitely illegal unless I have trusts,

which I doubt bc my parents both have nice new cars and stuff.

I also emailed my school guidance counselor. I have a new email contact, and I'll be sent my financial records ASAP.

So... yeah. Posting this morning, I honestly felt like an ungrateful, whiny teen who f**ked over her family,

but you guys made me realize that my life is definitely not normal or fair,

and I thank you all for that, and for the immeasurably kind words you've all given me. I'll keep fighting!

Edit: I'm an i__ot and somehow blocked someone while scrolling in my inbox.

When grief hits hard, we look for ways to feel something different to give shape to an internal upheaval that words can’t fully express. Loss often pushes people toward symbolic actions that reflect the inner shift they’re experiencing.

Changing something visible, like cutting one’s hair, can feel like shedding emotional weight, redefining identity, or marking a deeply personal turning point.

Psychologists point out that grief isn’t just about sadness; it’s also about meaning-making, the human effort to understand and integrate life’s most painful events into a coherent sense of self. Meaning-making helps people navigate abrupt changes and rebuild a sense of continuity after loss.

In this story, the OP’s decision to cut her hair was not a superficial act of rebellion, nor simply a disregard for a contract clause. It was an emotional response to the shock and grief of losing a close friend at a young age, combined with intense family and career stress.

Cutting one’s hair has been recognized across cultures as a coping or mourning ritual, symbolizing release, transformation, or the emotional burden of loss. Some traditions even link hair cutting to letting go of attachment or external burdens during bereavement.

From a psychological standpoint, altering your appearance in the face of emotional pain can serve as a coping mechanism.

Mental health discussions note that hair cutting is often associated with exerting control when other parts of life feel overwhelming. It can provide a temporary sense of agency and emotional relief during turbulent times, even if it doesn’t resolve the grief itself.

Grief experts emphasize that while coping behaviors are common, they don’t always align with practical or contractual obligations. That’s where the conflict emerged: the OP’s modeling contract restricted such changes without prior consent, and cutting her hair breached that agreement.

This situation highlights how emotional needs and contractual expectations can collide, especially when someone is navigating intense psychological stress.

In professional relationships, contracts are typically designed to protect business interests, but they don’t always accommodate sudden emotional or personal needs.

It’s also worth noting that grief isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Researchers like George Bonanno, a clinical psychologist known for his work on resilience and loss, show that people vary widely in how they respond to traumatic events, with some demonstrating resilience and others seeking symbolic or expressive actions to manage overwhelming feelings.

In essence, this wasn’t just about hair or a broken contract. It was about navigating intense emotional pain in a situation where the OP felt she had no other outlet.

Symbolic acts like cutting hair can be a form of psychological meaning-making and self-expression during grief. A more compassionate approach from those around her, acknowledging why she felt compelled to change her appearance, alongside support with grieving and contractual boundaries might have helped bridge the emotional and practical divide.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These commenters agreed parents exploiting a child financially is abusive and wrong

MommaLa − NTA, it’s your hair! also get a lawyer. Your parents should have been saving money in an account for you!

They should have lived off their portion of income and saved quite a bit of yours.

When you leave, you shouldn’t be leaving with nothing. Plus hair grows back. Get a cute cut, and new management.

This is why a child should not be the money earner in a family IMO. It’s just a dependency that should not be created.

Bad-Cop-No-Donut − NTA your hair your choice. ..and why do your parents not have jobs to pay their bills?

If you’re a minor it’s their job to support you not the other way around!

the-mirrors-truth − NTA They should never have been relying on their teenager daughter to pay for their bills, that's on them.

SoValkyrieMama − NTA. You’re still in high school and your parents are relying on you to support the family?! Wtf?! THEY are the AH here.

This group urged legal action, citing Coogan laws and child financial protections

[Reddit User] − NTA. Though I will warn you that violating contract can and will put you in bad standing with management companies

and people who can not follow contract or are "difficult" don't usually get worked with.

Yes it is your hair and your body, but I'm going with NTA because you are a minor and I don't think you have fully consented to a lot of...

Just remember with modeling, they want certain looks and that's why they they put it in contract.

Now for some info that I think you need: Your parents are probably in violation of the Jackie Coogan law. Or are about to be.

By law, 15% of your income was to be set aside where it can be monitored, but not accessed, by anyone until you turn 18.

Which is why they may be waiting to kick you out, because if they have been following that law,

there is probably a rather large sum of money just sitting right now.

You actually have the ability to get legal recourse. I'm not a lawyer, but this is what I recommend:

1. Contact CPS. Inform them you are a minor child actor/model and believe that you are being financially abused

and that your parents may have been violating the "Jackie Coogan" law. Google it and cite it specifically.

Cite your parents may also be in violation of child labor laws as well.

2. Report this all to a school official as well. They are mandated reporters.

If they scoff or try to convince you otherwise, state specifically "You are a mandated reporter.

I am informing you of financial child abuse. By law you are required to make a report".

3. Request a court appointed guardian ad litem and request a fact finding for your income and child labor work be performed.

4. Contact your previous management company, or companies, that you were just let go from and request

all your financial records, copies, of contracts, statements of work, etc. By law, they must provide them to you.

5. Do not allow them to send those to your parents, and do not tell them what you are doing.

Have them either emailed to you directly, mailed to someone you trust, or request they print them and pick them up yourself.

I know this may be scary, but you aren't without help or legal recourse.

You can also contact your local government and request legal assistance yourself. Just google your state and legal assistance.

But do this now, things change when you turn 18 and doing this now gets the ball rolling

and will hopefully keep them from accessing your funds that are probably there. And your parents are so in the wrong for doing this to you.

As a parent, I can't imagine anyone's parents doing this, but sadly, in the entertainment industry, it's by far the norm. And it's disgusting.

green_eyed_cat − Get legal advice ASAP if you’re in the US there’s a law called Coogans law

that requires parents to put 15% of a child’s earnings into a locked account.

activelurker777 − NTA! As a high school student, you should not be the main support of your family!

It sounds as if you are in the U. S. I know that there are laws that are supposed to protect the assets of minors who are actors,

and I imagine that they protect children who model as well.

Your parents were supposed to set aside a percentage of your income for your use when you attain your majority (become of legal age.)

If you think that you will be thrown out when you turn 18, you need to start investigating the finances ASAP, whether openly or secretly.

Are there any adults to whom you can turn?

Does your school offer counseling services to help you with your grief and depression?

I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time. I wish that I could give you a hug.

These Redditors focused on grief, mental health, and validating OP’s autonomy

Maximum_System_7819 − IN FO: how old are you and how long have you been supporting your family? My inclination is NTA.

Your parents are not entitled to financial support from their child. Many people find cutting their hair cathartic.

This could mean big changes for you since it impacts your finances but you’re not an A H for making the choice.

If you’re young, you’re hugely NTA because you should be focusing on grieving and living and embracing your autonomy

AnonAndHappy − Nta. Keep in mind, making mistakes is part of life. If in the future you see this as a mistake, that’s fine.

Doesn’t make you a bad person. Mental health is important too, so I hope cutting your hair helps you

kachol − NTA my wife died of cancer just 5 months ago at the age 27. F__k cancer.

The wound won't heal fully but it will get better with time. Make sure to be easy on yourself. I get the catharsis as well.

I feel the same way about the tattoos I have in honor of my wife. Transferring my emotional pain onto something tangible.

Also the s__t your parents are pulling off sounds mega mega mega sketchy

This group criticized parents for relying on OP’s income and urged escape plans

rmric0 − NTA. It sounds like you're a literal, actual child? Not to knock children or anything like that,

but there's some pretty heavy s__t being picked in top of you and none of the people

that have been exploiting you for cash did the very basic work of responding to you and making sure you were okay,

including your damn parents.

That us job 1 with a kid, I would imagine it goes doubly so when you are relying on that kid to maintain your lifestyle.

mikhela − I model, and my parents are my managers though they haven't always been.

Those parents are sus, and OP should probably get a new manager cause having family members run your job is never a good idea.

NTA I'm the primary breadwinner of the house Oh dang, did the parents lose their jobs?

They shouldn't be mooching off their kid. Now they're sus AND toxic.

Double NTA as soon as I'm done with high school record scratch what.

Are you telling me That your parents don't work and work part-time

because they're living off the model income of their high school age child who they are the managers of??????

Oh my god OP stop. Stop giving them money. Get a lawyer. Start a secret savings account.

Gather all your important documents. Finish high school. Get the f__k OUT.

Wumbletweed − So, as soon as they can’t profit from you, you have no value to them?

These commenters offered practical or emotional support, praising OP’s courage

jcksydsmon − NTA. What I don’t understand is why you can’t get a few different wigs and model with those until your hair grows out.

[Reddit User] − Hey! I’m proud of you for taking control and asserting yourself in your own life.

Although I’m no model I grew up with parents who were very controlling about my looks,

so when I went to college and finally had physical freedom, I asserted my emotional and mental freedom by shaving my head.

It felt amazing to finally be free.

The fact that you were able to assert yourself and your independence

while still under your parents roof AND with the added stress of them making you the breadwinner

(which in and of itself is extremely abusive) makes you a f__king BADASS.

Now all you have to do is survive and get through it until you are out from under their control and their house.

I believe in you. Even if they make you do things you don’t want keep that fire alive in your heart and know

that your body belongs to you and you are amazing, capable, and deserve to be who you want to be!

While some focused on the broken contract, most readers saw a grieving teen asserting control over her own body for the first time.

Was the haircut impulsive, or was it survival? And if a family collapses without a teenager’s paycheck, who really failed who? Share your thoughts below. Where do you draw the line between responsibility and exploitation?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 3/3 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/3 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/3 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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