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21-Year-Old Refuses To Pay Housemate Utility Bills, Doubting Something Fishy Going On

by Jeffrey Stone
January 27, 2026
in Social Issues

A 21-year-old fresh out of college starts channeling his grandma’s old-school rule about always getting receipts. When his housemate sends a Venmo request for utilities without attaching any statements, he asks politely for the actual bills. Silence follows. Repeated messages, calls, and attempts across apps get ignored completely.

This echoes an earlier incident in September when a similar request drew an annoyed reaction before the documents finally appeared. Two weeks of no contact later, he holds off on payment until he can verify the amounts himself.

A Redditor refuses to pay roommate-handled utility bills without seeing the statements.

21-Year-Old Refuses To Pay Housemate Utility Bills, Doubting Something Fishy Going On
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for not paying house utilities until I get the receipts?'

I'm 21 and still new to living life outside of college. Last month I asked my housemate if he could send me the utility bills statements before I pay him...

I got the idea from my grandma who said I should have receipts for everything I buy, so I wanted to give that a try.

So I get the Venmo for the bill and there is no statement, and I think "maybe he just forgot".

This seems like a reasonable excuse since I did ask him over a month ago.

So I DM him "Please send receipts for the bills so I can pay you " and I get no response.

I think that's weird so the next day I message him the same thing, and I get no response.

Yesterday I tried calling him on Messenger, Discord, and over the phone and got no response.

Am I the a__hole for refusing to pay bills when I don't see the bill statement?

Or is asking to see the bill statement something that I should have been doing from the beginning and now it's coming back to bite me.

Side note: I did ask him for the bill statements back in September and he seemed "angry" about it but let me have them.

Does asking to see statements make people upset? When I sent him the Internet statement I didn't feel upset, is that normal?

He hasn't responded to me for 2 weeks now, and this is the second or third time he left without a word.

The core issue here boils down to a simple request for verification: the young tenant wants to confirm the amounts are accurate and fair before reimbursing his share. It’s not about distrust from the start, it’s about building good habits in a shared space where money flows between people.

From one angle, the roommate’s frustration makes sense if he’s been handling everything smoothly and suddenly faces repeated asks. Some people see it as nitpicky or questioning their honesty, especially if past handovers felt burdensome.

But flip the script: refusing to share statements, especially after being asked multiple times, raises eyebrows. Why the defensiveness? It could be forgetfulness, annoyance at extra steps, or something off with the charges.

This ties into a bigger picture in shared living: transparency isn’t optional; it’s the glue that prevents resentment. Roommates frequently clash over finances because systems lack clarity, whether it’s uneven splits, surprise hikes, or one person fronting costs without receipts.

Julia Califano, a journalist on banking, small business, personal loans, student loans, and other money issues at SoFi, notes the importance of structured approaches: “You might give one roommate the responsibility for keeping track of monthly expenses and how much each roommate owes, as well as logging who paid what and when.”

This underscores why proactive documentation like forwarding e-bills or snapping photos of paper ones keeps things fair and drama-free.

In practice, requesting statements is standard and reasonable. Many who’ve been burned share stories of overpaying rent or utilities due to blind trust.

The consensus? Better to ask politely in person or set clear expectations than let ambiguity fester. If pushback persists, options include contacting providers directly for usage history (with permission) or, in extreme cases, exploring small claims for any proven discrepancies.

Ultimately, neutral ground lies in communication: a calm face-to-face chat, perhaps with a neutral third party like another housemate, can clarify intentions without escalating. Set house rules early and everyone wins. It protects budgets, preserves friendships, and teaches valuable adult skills.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Some people affirm that the poster is not the AH for requesting to see the bills and emphasize it’s a reasonable and normal request.

[Reddit User] − NTA for asking to see the bills. That’s totally normal and reasonable.

Being transparent keeps things fair, and your roommate should be willing to show you receipts, just like you did for the internet.

If anything, it’s a red flag if someone refuses to show proof or gets mad about it

NarrativeScorpion − Nta, it's perfectly reasonable to want to have a receipt for bills.

Have you tried actual face-to-face communication with your housemate?

My concern with his behavior is that he's not actually paying the bills, and is trying to conceal it.

That_UsrNm_Is_Taken − NTA. It’s pretty common practice to send the bill which is being paid by multiple people to the other people paying it.

As a matter of fact, I’d be pretty annoyed if I had to ask for it every time.

It’s perfectly reasonable to want to confirm the amount and have your own copy of the receipt.

I’ve had several roomates in the past and often I’ve been the one managing the bills and have lived with others that managed the bills.

Whenever a bill came I would just send them the bill or they would send it to me - you get the digitally now, it’s literally the easiest thing to...

FunKnowledge9856 − NTA. You are responsible for paying half of the bill, so you need to have copies of those bills that you pay for.

Ask your roommate if they are getting e-bills, if so, forward copies to you. If the bills are mailed, ask to see it so you can take a photo of...

Ask them when you're with them so they can't brush you off. If they're still being shady or acting defensive,

you could say that you are applying for a savings/investment/credit card or something like that,

and that you need to gather all the financial documents for your living expenses.

Set a date: Say that you need a copy of the most recent bill by Nov.

30th if it's a set monthly amount, or, that you need copies of bills from Sept to Nov (or whatever date range) if it's a variable amount each month.

Ask if they see any issues with getting you that info by the end of the month,

and if they can't do so, let them know that you are happy to track down copies of the bills

from the service providers on your own with their permission ~ say this as you're calling the service provider.

Some people suggest directly talking face-to-face with the roommate about the issue since they live together.

wombat74 − NTA. Just wondering though why you don't just go and talk to him if you're living in the same house?

Mosstheboy − Have you considered going over to the couch and just speaking to him?

Lovebug-1055 − Obviously he’s over charging you or why else would he not share copies of the actual bills? Don’t pay him a penny until you see the bill from...

oneangrywidow − I agree with the rest of the comments, but I’d also get copies of the rest of the statements as well,

as far back as you’ve been kept in the dark. Make sure he’s been charging you half and not the entire thing, or 3/4’s, etc.

If he HAS been fleecing you, you can either add up the total he owes and charge him in one payment, or have him pay the bill for as much...

You can also take him to small claims court. Or you can just say s__ew it, move out, and find a better roommate. You have options.

Either way, asking for receipts = NTA.

Some people suspect the roommate might be overcharging or not paying the bills properly and advise demanding proof to prevent being fleeced.

Rottenfink − NTA. You have every right to see the statement. If your portion is,

say, $50 for your share of November's electric bill, pay the $50 to your roommate.

Then, literally text your roommate "I paid you $50 for my share of November's electric bill.

If there's any problems, text me and let me know". A lack of response would be all the receipt you need.

And make sure you save all those text messages

Some people recommend practical ways to document payments and protect oneself, such as texting confirmations or saving records.

Rottenfink − NTA. You have every right to see the statement. If your portion is,

say, $50 for your share of November's electric bill, pay the $50 to your roommate.

Then, literally text your roommate "I paid you $50 for my share of November's electric bill.

If there's any problems, text me and let me know". A lack of response would be all the receipt you need.

And make sure you save all those text messages

Some share personal lessons from past roommate experiences about the importance of getting receipts and not trusting blindly.

wordly_mirror9040 − When I moved into my first apartment I trusted my roommate and just transferred her my half of the bills/rent.

When I reread my lease when I moved out I found out I had been paying $650 in rent while he was paying $200…

that’s on me for not reading the lease more carefully but I was 18 so… lesson learned.

Get receipts and read everything!

In the end, standing up for basic proof on shared costs isn’t unreasonable, it’s smart money management in a trusting-but-verifiable setup. Do you think withholding payment until receipts arrive crosses a line, or is it the only way to ensure fairness when communication breaks down? Have you ever dealt with a shady bill situation in shared housing? Drop your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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