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Woman Gets Blamed For Best Friend’s Self-Ruined Life, Friend Shockingly Threatens To End It All

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A lifelong bestie turned teenage years into endless blame games, from leaked pics and dumped boyfriends to nonstop crisis calls. When a surprise pregnancy bombshell hit, demanding cross-town rescue, one Reddit user snapped: “Your self-sabotage habit? That’s got nothing to do with me.”

Plot twists piled up like homework disasters and hookup regrets, testing loyalty to the breaking point. Reddit’s hooked, debating self-preservation against years of chaotic friendship.

Protective girl gets blamed for her best friend’s life falling apart.

Woman Gets Blamed For Best Friend's Self-Ruined Life, Friend Shockingly Threatens To End It All
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for telling my best friend that her ruining her own life has nothing to do with me?'

Ashley (fake name) and I have an age difference of 1 year; she is older than me.

We have been friends since we were in elementary school. Ashley was popular in high school. Which might have gotten into her head.

We had this mutual friend Ray who had a huge crush on Ashley, and she knew about that,

yet she used to make him do her homework and ask him for money. As a simp, he used to follow her like a goddess.

I never had a problem with Ashely before, but I simply started to feel weird about her habit of throwing me under the bus.

For example, her failing on exams was my fault, according to her mother. A guy proposed to me in grade 6. Ashely started a war with that guy for liking...

I changed schools in 8th grade at my parents' wishes. At this time, I was no longer Ashely's bodyguard.

We used to stay in touch, but not that much as I was busy with my new schedule and friends.

At this time, Ashely became friendless, and I still have no idea why.

She dated this school hunk, for 4 years who broke up with her because she just answered,

“I won't care if you break up with me because I have many dudes who love me and Ray is also there,”

to his question of “If we ever broke up, what will you do?” Well, it doesn't end here,

she then goes on to date that guy's (her ex) best friend, and yeah, at this time, we were still in touch.

And I warned her not to date him because if he can't be loyal to his bff how will he be loyal to her?

But she didn't listen to me, got dumped, and somehow again, the blame was on me.

Her private pic got leaked and her mother scolded me. Even though I was unaware of this situation.

It was like because of my influence she was suffering. My mom was unaware of this whole situation.

My mother her sister and I wanted to study at the same college. Which I didn't want.

Coming to the point:

So for college, I chose a different college that was far away from hers. I stayed in a hostel, and we weren't allowed to use mobile phones.

Until Saturday, weird but okay for me. She used to text me sometimes, and from that text, I got to know that Ray left her bootlicking.

She was again left out in college, with no friends. She cheated on her new boyfriend with his BFF who already had a girlfriend.

She had unprotected s__ with him, and now she is pregnant. And now she demands that I help her because she got dumped.

At this point, I am just tired, and yeah, she also wants me to set her up with my elder brother.

And help her with the a__rtion thing while I am in the middle of my exam.

So I just said that her always trying to ruin her life has nothing to do with me.

How am I supposed to help her?

AITAH: For this, should I help her? We have been friends since elementary school, so what is your suggestion?

And she has threatened me that she will end her life if I leave her and do not help her.

Her parents would k__l her if they found out about that. Moreover, I will be again blamed for it, and I am scared that she will hurt herself.

A friend in need is a friend indeed. But what if a friend’s “need” stretches your capacity to help to the breaking point, turning loyalty into a one-way burden?

Our Reddit poster has endured years of being the convenient scapegoat for Ashley’s endless string of self-sabotage: flunked exams pinned on her “bad influence,” leaked private pics somehow her fault, and boyfriends cycling through like disposable cups.

Now, with an unplanned pregnancy from cheating with a taken guy, plus demands for abortion logistics and a setup with the poster’s brother, it’s clear that this isn’t friendship. It’s a one-way ticket to emotional exhaustion.

From Ashley’s side, elementary school bonds run deep, and desperation can make anyone clingy. Pregnancy scares amplify panic, especially with unsupportive parents lurking.

But flip the script: the poster has been warning her for years, only to get zero thanks, just blame. It’s a classic pattern of emotional vampirism, where one person drains the other’s energy without reciprocity.

The poster’s exhaustion is relatable. Who hasn’t had that friend who treats advice like unsolicited spam?

This blows up into a bigger social ripple: toxic friendships that masquerade as loyalty. According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 1 in 5 adults report friendships that harm their mental health more than help it, often through manipulation or scapegoating.

It’s especially sneaky in long-term bonds formed young, where guilt keeps the chains locked. Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab nails it in her book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: “You are not responsible for fixing someone else’s mess, even if you’ve known them forever. True friends lift you up, not load you down.”

This quote hits home here. Ashley’s threats of self-harm is a textbook manipulation, not a cry for help from an equal.

Broadening out, these dynamics echo “caretaker fatigue,” where good-hearted folks enable bad choices out of habit.

Boundaries with a side of compassion could be a game changer. Suggest looping in pros: contact Ashley’s college wellness center anonymously for pregnancy/abortion resources, or alert her parents without owning the fallout.

Block the nonstop sob-story texts to reclaim your peace. After all, your sanity come first. It’s not cold, it’s selfcare.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

People assert the “friend” is manipulative and the OP must end contact immediately.

[Reddit User] − This "friendship" needs to end. This is not a friend, she is a user. She's used everyone in her life.

What exactly do you get out of this? You're her scapegoat. If she does something, that is on her.

It is not your fault. You did not cause her to act the way she has and continues to.

MeatOpening3207 − NTA - She sounds a terrible friend. Never feel obliged to help someone because they throw out suicide.

It is selfish and manipulative. You don't owe her anything.

DivineInsanity0910 − This is so far-fetched it's borderline ridiculous. If it's indeed a true story (which I doubt) - you were never friends,

at best you were her subordinate and you owe her nothing.

They urge blocking the friend and her family to protect OP’s well-being.

AattukaalBhaskaran − You really should use the "block" feature on your phone.

You're in a different college, unable to use phone from Monday to Saturday. So it should be easier to block her.

You have been enabling her behavior in a way, so it's going to be difficult. But block her, ignore her messages.

If your parents ask you to contact her, tell them the friendship is over and you can't tolerate her antics. NTA.

Keeping in touch with her is simply going to make her and her parents blame you for her downfall.

Mytuucents8819 − YTA to yourself…. Why do you continue to engage with her… block her already

Broad-Discipline2360 − Grow a spine. Block her. YTA to yourself.

MissMurderpants − NTA. Block her and her mother already.

Many criticize OP for continuing engagement and call the friend toxic.

WhyCommentQueasy − As far as I can see, this friendship is over. You're trying to move on and she's just dragging you down.

If you're concerned for her safety, her college should have a health and wellness center.

Contact them about it, or her parents, or the police. As far as the a__rtion thing, her and the father should work on that.

BeardManMichael − She sounds awful in all measurable ways. NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA. .....as long as you go no contact. Like you told her it will be no ones fault if you ruin your own life.

To be clear she isn't a friend. Her mother blaming you i can assure you is because your her scapegoat.

....how can she be a friend if she lets you take the blame for her actions. This ray guy even figured out she's a horrible person and friend but you're...

Cut ties before she concocts a lie so grand it ruins your life. You are not responsible for her, you are responsible for YOU. Choose your peace.

In the end, this Redditor’s bold line in the sand feels like a mic-drop moment after years of cleanup duty.

Fair play when the mess is someone else’s making? Expert boundaries back it up: you can’t pour from an empty cup, especially not into a bottomless pit.

Do you think drawing this boundary mid-crisis was spot-on, or should old-school loyalty have won out?

How would you handle a “friend” weaponizing threats while tanking their own ship? Drop your hot takes, we’re all ears!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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