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New Homeowners Stand Their Ground Against a Bully Neighbor with a Fence Fetish

by Sunny Nguyen
January 21, 2026
in Social Issues

We have all heard the saying, “good fences make good neighbors,” but sometimes, the fence itself becomes the battleground. Moving into a new home is supposed to be exciting, filled with decorating plans and backyard barbecues. However, for one couple, it turned into an immediate standoff with the people next door.

A recent Reddit thread highlighted a story that feels like justice served cold. It involves property lines, entitlement, and two very patient lawyers who knew exactly how to handle a rude neighbor. After being told they couldn’t build a fence on their own land, the couple eventually turned the tables when the neighbors came knocking for a massive favor.

It is a satisfying tale of boundaries, both physical and emotional.

The Story

New Homeowners Stand Their Ground Against a Bully Neighbor with a Fence Fetish
Not the actual photo

You say no to our fence, we say no to your project?

Two years ago my husband and I bought our first house. First on our list was the backyard and removing a laurel bush on the back property line

that went 7 feet deep and had a chicken wire fence in the back (99%of the roots were on our property). Our yard wasn’t big

to begin with so we wanted that extra space and so our plan was to remove it and put up a fence that matched the

other parts of our property. When I went to notify our neighbors just to be nice (also we weren’t asking them to contribute) they were

super nice about it and welcomed us into the neighborhood. Two days later we were startled to see the husband neighbor knocking on our back

door (trespassing) because he said we didn’t answer the front door. He said they didn’t agree with the fence after all and that we couldn’t

cut down the laurels. One of their arguments was that the previous owners didn’t mind the laurels (so?). Well my husband and I are

both attorneys and decided we weren’t going to do the back and forth, we were going to hire a surveyor to come and confirm the

property line. Turns out almost all the laurel roots were in fact on our property. So again, we told neighbors we were moving forward

with the fence. After seeing the markers they were pissed. My cousin and uncle helped us putting up the fence and and husband neighbor

could not have been more rude, standing a foot away from them (on his property) breathing down their necks while they put up the

fence. Fast forward a year and husband neighbor texts my husband asking to talk. So they meet at the fence. Turns out they have

a cedar tree about 7ft in diameter on their property close to the fence that they want to remove but are asking us for

the removal to be done from OUR PROPERTY - they need to remove a portion of our FENCE, bring the cherry picker and wood

chipper down our driveway to our backyard, and do the entire project on our property because they don’t have access to their backyard from

the street. Obviously my husband is dumbfounded but still super nice considering the fence drama and says “that’s a really big ask” and

this neighbor says “why?” And then proceeds to says if we say no then they won’t be able to afford the project and then

says he’s sorry about how the fence situation went and hope we can move forward. LOL. My husband comes and tells me and

says he would be willing to say yes if they pay us and sign something saying they are liable for everything stemming from it

but I can’t stop laughing. Literally no amount of money they would pay would convince me to say yes. So aside from liability factor

felt great to say sorry not happening. We received no response and needless to say we still don’t have a relationship with them.

Honestly, this story is pure gold for anyone who appreciates a bit of poetic justice. The sheer audacity of the neighbor to trespass, complain about a fence on property that wasn’t his, and then, years later, ask to dismantle that same fence for his own convenience is mind-boggling.

It is refreshing to see homeowners who know their rights and refuse to be bullied. The fact that the OP and her husband are attorneys just adds a delicious layer of irony to the whole situation. They handled it with class, simply saying “no” rather than engaging in a shouting match. It proves that sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is hold your ground and let people sit in the mess they created.

Expert Opinion

This situation is a classic example of “transactional relationships” gone wrong. In social psychology, the “reciprocity norm” suggests that people respond to each other in kind, niceness begets niceness, and hostility begets hostility. The neighbor violated this social contract early on by being aggressive and territorial. When he later tried to initiate a transaction (the favor for the tree), there was no “social capital” in the bank to draw from.

According to Psychology Today, difficult neighbors often display traits of narcissism or entitlement, believing that rules apply to others but not to them. The neighbor’s request to remove a fence he originally opposed is a textbook example of this cognitive dissonance.

Real estate experts often advise that clear boundaries are essential. By hiring a surveyor early, the couple established objective facts, which is the best defense against emotional bullying. Dr. Robert Cialdini, an expert on influence, notes that consistency is a key motivator in human behavior. By consistently enforcing their property rights, the couple sent a message that they could not be manipulated.

From a liability standpoint, the couple’s refusal was incredibly smart. Letting heavy machinery onto your property opens a Pandora’s box of potential damages to driveways, grass, and underground utilities. Without a rock-solid contract (and a lot of trust, which was missing here), saying “no” was the only logical choice.

Community Opinions

The Reddit community was absolutely living for this story. The comment section was a mix of applause for the OP’s backbone and shared horror stories about similar neighbors.

Users loved that the neighbor’s past bad behavior came back to bite him. 

1quirky1 − “I was a real p__ck to you when you were new to the neighborhood...

Don’t worry, I will see your refusal to help as you being the p__ck and not a consequence of my behavior.”

Wisdomofpearl − I am petty as f*ck, but I know better than to be petty with someone I may need a favor from in the future.

Apparently your neighbor doesn't know this important life lesson.

ShitStainWilly − It’s always a good idea to be a total f__khead to your nice new neighbors who both happen to be attorneys.

No, that never blows up in your face at all.

Many commenters shared nightmares about tree removal crews destroying driveways and lawns, validating the OP’s decision to steer clear of the liability.

Greenbench27 − Glad you said no. My neighbor had a tree removed last year

and the tree guys drove a huge piece of machinery through my yard and destroyed my grass.

PlasticMix8573 − I would not trust nor let s__tty a-holes move a 7-foot diameter cedar tree into my backyard...

One caveat is which way the tree is going to fall when storms blow it down.

filletofishfamily − You were absolutely right to not allow them access...

My greatest fear was being held responsible for paying bills from contractors who completed work for him from our property.

Some users suggested making the neighbor pay a massive deposit or sign strict contracts, though most agreed a simple “no” was safer.

WatchingTellyNow − They pay you a "deposit"... for the FULL cost of repairing any potential damage... They pay that FIRST, before anything is allowed on your property.

MNConcerto − Now they're going to have to pay a lot more to have it done by people climbing the tree and using ropes... Call it being a jerk tax.

People shared their own sagas of fence disputes and property line wars.

trillium61 − The day of tree removal my partner moved his vehicle up the driveway to block access... The tree is still there.

RemiTwinMama2016 − I went out and fixed the damn fence with some plywood the next day. He called animal control on me...

And none of this would have happened if he would have just agreed to replace the f__king fence.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you are dealing with a difficult neighbor, the first rule is to keep everything professional. Treat it like a business transaction. If there is a dispute over property lines, do exactly what this couple did: hire a surveyor. Facts de-escalate emotions.

When asked for a major favor that involves your property, it is okay to say no. You do not need to provide a long list of reasons. A simple, “I’m not comfortable with the liability risks,” is a complete sentence. If you do consider saying yes, ensure you have a written agreement that covers damages, cleanup, and timelines.

Finally, remember that you don’t have to be friends with your neighbors, but being civil helps. However, civility does not mean being a doormat. Protecting your peace and your property is always your priority.

Conclusion

This story is a satisfying reminder that kindness is a long-term investment. The neighbors thought they could be rude without consequences, but when the tables turned, they found themselves stuck with a massive tree and no easy way out.

What would you have done in this situation? Would you have let them use your yard for a price, or was the “hard no” the only way to go? Let us know your thoughts on neighborly wars!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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