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Dad Refuses To Raise Daughter’s Baby, Now Family Demands He “Do His Part”

by Annie Nguyen
November 26, 2025
in Social Issues

The journey to parenthood is often filled with joy and excitement, but it can also bring about unanticipated challenges, especially when family expectations come into play.

The original poster (OP) recently found himself in an unexpected situation after his daughter, Amanda, announced her pregnancy and, quite presumptively, expected him to take on a significant childcare role.

As the conversation unfolds, OP realizes that Amanda and her husband Chris have a very different vision of what parenting looks like. With their focus on enjoying life, they seem to overlook the responsibilities that come with raising a child.

The dialogue quickly turns heated, revealing deeper issues about family roles and expectations. What will OP decide to do in response to this unexpected demand? Read on to uncover the unfolding drama!

One father finds himself in hot water after his daughter expects him to take on parenting duties for her new baby, all while she and her husband want to enjoy their “fun years”

Dad Refuses To Raise Daughter’s Baby, Now Family Demands He “Do His Part”
Not the actual photo

AITA For telling my daughter that if she wanted me to raise her baby then she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant?

My (52M) daughter Amanda (27F) and her husband Chris (25M) married a few months ago.

Amanda has lived on her own since college, but still is in the general area.

Currently Amanda and Chris aren’t that focused on their future,

mostly on having fun and doing things “while they’re still young.”

There’s nothing wrong with that, in my opinion, and I think that young people should have

that kind of period in their life, especially after the pandemic. I got a call from Amanda.

She and Chris told me how they have taken several tests and confirmed that Amanda is pregnant!

They would be hosting an announcement dinner, but wanted immediate family to know right away.

They could barely wait as they had been trying since they were married.

(Note that this was an intended pregnancy) I told them I was thrilled to be a grandpa.

The dinner party happened last week and the announcement was met with only happiness and excitement.

Chris and Amanda were talking to a friend and Chris made a comment along the lines of “Good thing that Bobby (me) will

while we’re at work!” I was confused and asked what they were talking about.

Amanda revealed that she and Chris were expecting me to always watch the baby

while they were working and so they could have “fun time” while not working.

Now I love my children and will never regret being their dad.

But I didn’t sign up for a new baby. I’m done with all that.

I want to enjoy my retirement and be free without any underage children.

I explained this to Amanda and Chris, also that there are many great daycare options in the area.

Amanda began to cause a scene because “You told me you were thrilled to be a grandpa!”

I responded that exactly, I was thrilled to be a grandpa, not a parent to this baby.

She said that I should help out since I don’t have to worry about working (I receive a pension)

and that she’s young and these are supposed to be the best years of her life,

and she thinks it's unfair that she and Chris’s life should “be all about a baby.”

I was very frank and responded that “Amanda, of course, you

and Chris’s life is going to “be all about a baby.” That’s what it means to be a parent.

You should not have gotten pregnant if you just expected someone else to raise your child.”

Amanda yelled at me “Don’t be surprised when I put you in a s__tty nursing home”

My son, Michael, says that I was harsh in my delivery by not my message.

My son, Nathan, agreed that Amanda and Chris are expecting too much

and it was irresponsible to purposely get pregnant

when they believe they don’t have time to raise a baby.

My sister, Sandra, however, told me my comment was “callous and misogynistic”

and I haven’t raised a newborn in twenty years and don’t realize how much harder being a parent has gotten.

And I can agree to start providing at least four days of childcare per week then go from there.

Multiple family members are agreeing with Sandra, so I’m looking for some unbiased perspectives on here. AITA?

In a world where the bonds of family often intertwine with expectations, the story of Amanda and her father, Bobby, raises profound questions about responsibility, autonomy, and the emotional complexities of parenthood.

When Amanda and her husband Chris announced their pregnancy, the initial thrill quickly turned to tension as they revealed their expectation that Bobby would take on the role of primary caregiver. This situation sparks a deep emotional resonance, as it touches on themes of betrayal, responsibility, and the desire for justice.

Bobby’s reaction can be understood through a psychological lens. His immediate response to Amanda’s expectation was not merely a rejection of the role thrust upon him but rather a reflection of his emotional state.

As a father who has already navigated the challenges of raising children, Bobby’s feelings of being cornered and taken for granted are palpable. The emotional distress stemming from being asked to step back into a role he had willingly left behind illustrates a desire for autonomy and the need to reclaim his personal space.

According to Dr. Harriet Lerner, “Feeling angry signals a problem”. In cases where personal boundaries are violated or disregarded, as with Amanda and Chris’s behavior, anger may emerge as a protective response, a way for someone to assert limits and reclaim their sense of dignity and self.

In Bobby’s case, his anger is a protective response to what he perceives as entitlement by Amanda and Chris. Rather than viewing his reaction as merely harsh, it is essential to see it as a manifestation of his need to assert his boundaries and reclaim his identity as a retiree rather than a secondary parent.

The satisfaction that comes from Bobby’s firm stance resonates with many who find themselves in similar situations. Readers often feel a sense of vindication when a character stands up against perceived injustice, especially in familial dynamics where power imbalances can lead to feelings of resentment.

Bobby’s assertion that Amanda and Chris must face the realities of parenthood reflects a deeper truth: that parenthood is a commitment that fundamentally alters one’s life.

Yet, it is crucial to acknowledge Amanda’s perspective too. The emotional upheaval of impending motherhood, coupled with the societal pressures of balancing fun and responsibility, may have clouded her judgment.

As Dr. Laura Markham emphasizes, “The most important parenting skill: Manage yourself. Take care of yourself so you aren’t venting on your child. Intervene before your own feelings get out of hand”.

In Amanda’s case, her emotional overload, evidenced by her threat to place her father in a nursing home, reflects her struggle to regulate her own feelings while navigating the pressures of caregiving.

Instead of seeing her reaction as purely hostile, it becomes clear that she is overwhelmed, unable to manage her inner turmoil as she attempts to balance her responsibilities and her mounting frustration.

In conclusion, this familial conflict serves as a reminder of the complexity of relationships and the emotions that underpin them. It raises a poignant question: How do we balance our needs and desires with those of our loved ones, especially when life transitions challenge our established roles?

Engaging in open dialogues about expectations and responsibilities may pave the way for healthier family dynamics, inviting discussion on how we can support each other through life’s transitions while respecting individual boundaries.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

This group agrees the parents are entitled and that childcare is their responsibility, not his

jkkeeler − NTA! ! I have 17 grand babies and have "raised" several of them.

"Helping" and "raising" are 2 very distinctive different things.

Enjoy your grandchild but, do not get wrapped up in the "raising" of him/her.

Trust me it doesn't stop at 4 days a week!

[Reddit User] − NTA If you can’t put your baby first, you’re not ready to be a parent.

I don’t even think your delivery was callous.

They intentionally got pregnant and planned on relying on a parent who has not even been consulted to raise their child

so they can enjoy the “best years of their life”…

this screams irresponsible and she probably shouldn’t be a parent if she’s not ready to make her life about her own baby.

I’m also sorry, but Sandra is just an enabling l__atic.

Child rearing has never been easy, every generation has different struggles.

If she feels so strongly that you refusing to be a parent all over again is misogynistic (does she know what that word means? ),

then maybe she can volunteer for the job of free babysitter since she’s

so magnanimous and willing to dump the responsibility on you.

Tell your daughter you’ll save your best years of your life for living as a grandpa,

she won’t have enough money to take care of her own child, much less a nursing home…

Your daughter seems to think she’s a Kardashian… oh wait, even they watch their own kids…

jmaeww − You’re not obligated to provide childcare for someone else’s child, period.

Sandra suggesting you start at minimum 4 days per week of childcare is borderline delusional.

Your daughter’s response of threatening to put you in a “s__tty nursing home”

if you don’t provide her with full time unpaid childcare so she can enjoy being in her late 20s despite the fact

that she’s been actively trying to get pregnant for a while is ...more than a little out-of-touch.

That suggests that she’s either massively immature, entitled, or most probably both. NTA

Human-Engineer1359 − Whaaat? Did I just read what I think I read? NTA

but your daughter and her husband are entitled AH's.

P.S.Tell Sandra that SHE can provide at least 4 days of childcare per week and go from there.

Maybe the multiple family members who agree with her can pick up the slack.

BoringSignal8714 − NTA sister is dead wrong.

How is it misogynistic to tell people to look after their own freaking kids.

4 days a week? Hell no Sandra can babysit 4 days a week since she’s hell bent on it.

extrabigcomfycouch − NTA What the heck? Maybe you should remind Amanda

that YOU were 25 when SHE was born, and that you took care of her, and your other children.

Smh ETA: I don’t get where the callous delivery and misogyny comments came from.

Your concerns are completely legit.

It’s simply unacceptable to intentionally plan for a baby and volen-plan for its grandparent

to take pretty much full time care while real parents party and have fun.

You did your time! Also, It sounds like Sandra is volunteering herself!

And furthermore, 27 (or 28 likely when baby is born) isn’t so young to be having a kid, it’s time to grow up.

These commenters back the grandpa, saying he’s right to protect his retirement and set limits

Top_Toe4694 − Retired at 52, you won, do not let them ruin it. NTA

BADoVLAD − NTA ...as a 47yo single dad I can absolutely empathize.

I will absolutely occasionally babysit and watch any future grandkids.

I will absolutely not raise them so their parents can go live life.

Also, let your sister know you're happy to hear she's

so forward thinking and willing to raise the kid for you.

YetAnother2Cents − NTA, nor will you be the AH when you give someone other

than her your power of attorney should you need someone to manage your affairs.

Someone who's never thought of putting you in a s__tty nursing home.

georgiagirlinthepnw − NTA ! They are. You are 100% correct. Their baby, their responsibility.

Don't listen to your sister. She can volunteer to be their babysitter.

Pterodactyloid − NTA. They shouldn't have become parents if they weren't ready.

Grandpa and grandma are not parents or baby sitters.

shrimpandshooflypie − NTA. No offense, but your sister is off her rocker.

Your daughter views having a child as a vanity project, I’m afraid.

Stand your ground, grandpa. I think you handled this with dignity and honesty.

This group says assuming free childcare is disrespectful, and the sister can babysit if she insists

11Cassaroo11 − NTA but they kind of are.

They never once asked you if you would be willing to take care of their child

while they were at work or wanted a date night out/“fun time”.

Had they asked you to help, I feel like you may have been more inclined to help out,

watching your grandchild a couple days a week or whatever to help relieve childcare costs.

But they just assumed you would essentially raise their child for them so they could just go off

and do whatever they want, which is not right or fair.

When you have a baby, your life changes.

Just as you said, their lives will become “all about a baby” because that’s what it means to have a child

and become parents, putting the child’s needs before you’re own.

It’s time for Amanda and Chad to grow up and take responsibility for their actions.

BluuBoose − NTA tell your sister to babysit since she thinks it's a right.

ArmadilloDays − NTA Assuming you’d be available for free daycare was insulting and entitled.

Parenthood is going to be a rude awakening for them,

but you won’t be doing them any favors by sparing them the jarring reality.

This father is faced with a tough decision: stand his ground or bend to his daughter’s expectations.

Do you think the father’s stance was justified, given the lifelong implications of parenting? Or do you believe he could have approached the conversation differently? How would you handle being caught in this parental dilemma? Share your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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