Teen Refuses Fat Camp, Parents Say He Has No Choice—Can They Really Force Him?

Growing up often means dealing with choices that don’t fully feel like your own. The original poster (OP), a teenager who feels comfortable in his own body, suddenly finds himself facing a decision made entirely by his parents.

After a doctor’s visit raised concerns about his health, they signed him up for what they call a “health camp,” but to him, it feels like something much more personal and unwanted.

What makes it harder is that this isn’t coming from anger or punishment. His parents believe they are helping, while OP feels misunderstood and pushed into something he doesn’t agree with at all. As emotions rise and frustration builds, he starts questioning not just their decision, but whether they even have the right to make it for him.

Scroll down to see where this conflict leads and what options OP might actually have.

A teen resists his parents’ plan to send him away for the summer over health concerns

There’s a moment in growing up when you realize your life is still partly yours but also still very much guided by the adults responsible for you. That tension can feel especially intense when the decision touches something personal, like your body, your identity, and how you see yourself. What you’re feeling right now isn’t just about a camp. It’s about control, autonomy, and being heard.

At the center of this situation is a clash between your sense of self and your parents’ sense of responsibility. You’ve made it clear that your weight doesn’t bother you the way it bothers them.

From your perspective, this feels like a punishment or even a rejection of who you are. From their perspective, it likely feels like a health concern they’re obligated to address. That difference matters, because both sides are operating from completely different emotional realities.

Legally, though, the answer is more straightforward. In most of the United States, including New York, parents or legal guardians have broad authority to make decisions about a minor’s upbringing, including education, medical care, and structured programs like camps. That generally includes sending a child to summer camp even if the child doesn’t want to go.

According to New York State Unified Court System, parents are responsible for the “care, custody, and control” of their children, which includes making decisions they believe are in the child’s best interest.

Similarly, Legal Information Institute explains that minors typically cannot enter binding decisions about their own care without parental consent, and parents retain decision-making authority unless it involves abuse or neglect. In other words, they can legally require you to attend something like this, including flying you there.

That said, legality and emotional impact are two very different things. Just because they can make this decision doesn’t mean it feels fair or respectful to you. And honestly, your reaction, feeling upset, frustrated, even hurt, is completely understandable.

There’s also a broader perspective here. Sometimes parents act out of fear rather than judgment. Health conversations, especially around weight, can make adults anxious, and anxiety often turns into control.

Your stepdad pushing the gym and your mom agreeing to the camp may not be about punishing you. It may be about them worrying in a way they don’t know how to express properly.

That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. But it does open a different way to respond.

If you want something practical to focus on: instead of arguing about going or not going (which you may not be able to change), try shifting the conversation to how it will work for you. Ask questions like:

• What exactly will I be doing there?
• Can I stay in contact regularly?
• Can we agree on boundaries about food or activities?
• What happens after the summer?

Those kinds of questions don’t mean you accept it. They show you’re thinking seriously, which often gets adults to listen more.

You’re not wrong for wanting control over your own body and life. That instinct is part of growing up. But right now, you’re in a space where your voice matters emotionally, even if it doesn’t fully decide things legally.

And one honest thought, just for you: this situation doesn’t define who you are. Whether you go or not, what matters more is how you continue to see yourself, not how anyone else tries to shape that for you.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

This group shares personal experiences, suggesting the camp could be positive and life-changing despite initial resistance

This group explains that parents have the legal authority to send a minor to camp, emphasizing their duty to protect the child’s health

This group focuses on health risks and long-term consequences of obesity, urging lifestyle changes for future well-being

This group addresses social realities, noting that weight can affect relationships and how others perceive you

On one hand, a teenager feels stripped of control over his own body and summer. On the other, parents are trying to step in before small habits turn into lifelong consequences. Both perspectives carry weight, just in very different ways.

So where’s the line between guidance and force? And how much say should a teenager have when it comes to decisions that could shape their future health? Would you see this as care or control?