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This Man’s Vegan Girlfriend Wants Him To Get Rid Of His Cat, What Should He Do?

by Annie Nguyen
April 10, 2026
in Social Issues

This 22-year-old man is caught in a difficult situation with his 21-year-old vegan girlfriend, who is asking him to give up his beloved cat, Mittens, in order to continue their relationship. She believes that owning a cat is against vegan principles because cats hunt and consume meat, and she insists that he can’t be fully cruelty-free while keeping a pet like Mittens.

He’s deeply conflicted, as he adores his cat and doesn’t think he should have to give her up. He’s already made compromises for the relationship, including transitioning to a fully plant-based diet.

Despite their strong connection and his care for his girlfriend, he feels that this disagreement over his cat may be a dealbreaker. His friends, who are also vegan, think his girlfriend is taking things too far, but he still wants to try and make things work.

The big question is: can they find common ground on this issue, or is this a fundamental incompatibility that could end their relationship?

A 22-year-old man is torn after his vegan girlfriend demands he give up his beloved cat to continue their relationship

This Man’s Vegan Girlfriend Wants Him To Get Rid Of His Cat, What Should He Do?
not the actual photo

'My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat.'

I can't believe I'm about to type this but here we go.

I've been dating my GF for 7 months. She's amazing and we're super compatible in a lot of ways.

She is an outspoken vegan, and she made it clear at the start of our relationship

that it was important to her that any potential had similar cruelty-free values.

Me, already being a pescatarian, had little difficulty transitioning to a fully plant based diet.

My GF was proud of me for going cruelty free and everything seemed well. We became "the vegan couple" on our college campus.

Then there is my cat, Mittens... I've had her for three years and I adore her. She's such a sweet and cuddly cat.

However, my GF was always a little apprehensive around her, and she blamed it on not growing up around cats.

After a while we sort of made a tacit agreement to mostly hang out at her apartment instead of mine,

so Mittens never really came up again in conversation.

Fast forward through all the quarantine stuff...

My gf and I have spent a lot of time together during this pandemic and we've started talking about taking our relationship to the next level.

We began seriously looking at either buying a new apartment together or having one of us move in with the other.

However, after a lot of talking and planning, my GF sat me down and dropped a bomb shell on me.

She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she did not see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens.

She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable for vegans, because they hunt mice and eat meat,

and because the very act of owning a pet is a violation of vegan principles.

I was stunned. I told her that I was absolutely not willing to give up Mittens,

and she had no choice but to eat meat so I was reducing harm as much as possible by buying reputable brands of cat food.

Plenty of vegans own cats and think along those same lines. My gf got mad and said "how much flesh does your cat eat?

How many animals died to make all that food? Would you be okay with that being human flesh?"

I got mad and told my GF that I would have really appreciated her telling me about her cat opinions before we got serious.

She went on and on about cats k__ling animals. I ended the conversation there. I was so angry that I left my gfs apartment.

And I snuggled with Mittens when I got home!

Although the mood soured a bit when my GF sent me a link to a Reddit thread advocating for the extinction of domestic cats.

Sigh I think it goes without saying that I am not going to get rid of my cat.

However, it pains me to think that an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology.

I don't even really understand where my GF is coming from because like I said, a lot of vegans own cats.

Now granted, cat ownership can be a controversial topic in vegan circles and I probably would not have gotten a cat

if I had been vegan at the time, but I have Mittens now, and she deserves to eat.

(Yes, I've researched vegan cat food, but Mittens has some digestive issues and my vet strongly cautions against it.)

I've talked to some of my vegan and vegetarian friends and they all think my gf has lost her mind.

Some have suggested that it's not about Mittens and my gf just wants an excuse to end it.

They probably don't understand why I haven't broken up yet, but I care about my GF so much.

I'd hate for this bizarre curve ball to be the end of a beautiful thing. I want to try and work something out.

Where do I even go from here? I will not compromise on Mittens and I don't think my GF will compromise either.

Edit: wow, this completely blew up while I was asleep. I am trying to read every comment but there are a lot.

Also, please allow me to take this moment to reiterate that my GFs views are not representative of those held by the wider vegan community!!

UPDATE: TL;DR My gf is a passionate vegan and wants me to get rid of my beloved cat because cats eat meat and kill mice.

First of all, let me say thank you for everyone who offered advice.

There are over 7,000 comments on my original post and I have dozens of PMs.

Frankly I'm still pretty overwhelmed with the magnitude of the response.

I did my best to read most everyone's comments but obviously I couldn't get to everything!

I would also like to preempt this post by saying, as many users pointed out,

that my GFs extreme views on domestic cats are not representative of the vegan/vegetarian community as a whole.

I do think that, sometimes, new vegans can be a little overzealous.

In reality, most of us are just doing the best that we can to not hurt animals! I did not expect to generate a big debate in the comments.

So, we broke up, obviously. I would never, ever give up my cat Mittens.

Many users said that this situation was about control, not veganism, and looking back, I do see a pattern of control on my GFs part.

I was blind to it I guess.

I called my GF and said I was not willing to give up Mittens under any circumstances, and given the recent issues we'd had,

and our incompatible views, I thought it was best that we parted ways. I said she deserved a partner that shared her values.

She then asked if we were breaking up, I said yes. There was some anger on her end but otherwise the situation actually went better than I expected.

So, yeah. That's really it.

Oh, and several users did ask to see a picture of Mittens. I have uploaded one to imgur:

This Man’s Vegan Girlfriend Wants Him To Get Rid Of His Cat, What Should He Do?
Mittens

Thanks again to everyone who offered advice. It really helped.

From the moment we fall in love, we hope our values will align, but the hardest moments arrive when they don’t. This Reddit user believed he and his girlfriend shared a strong philosophical bond rooted in veganism. He even adopted her values to the point of eliminating animal products from his own diet.

But when that shared ideal collided with his deep emotional bond to his cat, everything became complicated and painful. What began as mutual admiration now feels like a clash between loyalty to a beloved companion and loyalty to a partner.

At the core of this conflict are values, identity, and emotional attachment. The OP’s girlfriend views pet ownership through an ethical lens that goes beyond diet. This perspective, while held by a subset of vegans, is not universal, but it is rooted in strong moral reasoning about animal use and exploitation.

Some ethical vegans argue against the concept of “owning” animals as property and question the morality of pets existing in human environments, including feeding them meat‑based diets. However, most vegans do choose to keep companion animals and balance ethical concerns with practical needs like nutrition and welfare.

For the OP, Mittens isn’t a symbol of compromised ideology, she is family. The intense emotional reactions he describes, shock, denial, anger, are understandable when someone you love challenges something so fundamental to your life and identity.

It feels like a personal rejection, not just a difference of opinion. Meanwhile, the girlfriend’s stance reflects a principled and consistent interpretation of her values, even if it feels extreme to others.

According to relationship research on conflicting values, romantic partners will inevitably face disagreements rooted in deeply held beliefs. What distinguishes relationships that thrive from those that fracture is not simply agreement, but the ability to communicate constructively, empathize, and negotiate differences without contempt or personal attack.

Healthy conflict resolution doesn’t mean that either partner abandons their core values, it means they commit to understanding the other’s emotional experience and work together toward solutions that honor both sides.

In the context of this relationship, compromise doesn’t have to mean “giving up” what matters most to one person.

Expert therapists emphasize that compromise is about collaboration and mutual respect, not sacrificing your essential needs or dismissing another’s. A strong partnership can accommodate differences in perspectives on pet ownership if both partners feel heard, respected, and valued.

So where do they go from here? They need honest, compassionate communication about what each cares about most, not just ideologically, but emotionally.

The OP must gently explain why Mittens is non‑negotiable for him, while the girlfriend must articulate her ethical concerns without framing them as ultimatums. If both parties can shift the conflict from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem,” they may find a path forward that honors both love and values.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters strongly supported the OP’s decision to keep their cat, expressing disbelief at the girlfriend’s request and criticizing her behavior

elderjayk − Thank you for doing right by Mittens. You're a good person.

kaylacactus − Your girlfriend is literally the definition of a f__king crazy vegan. And a piece of s__t. The extinction of domestic cats?

It REALLY doesn’t sound like she cares about animals like she claims. Yes cats eat meat. It’s the f__king circle of life.

A s__t ton of animals need meat, it doesn’t mean they should f__king die.

Holy f__k let her go, she may be great to you, but imo, the second anyone tried to tell me to get rid of my beloved cat they could f__k...

[Reddit User] − Anyone who asked or expected me to get rid of my animals would be kicked to the curb.

This group provided advice on handling the situation with the girlfriend, suggesting contacting a shelter to re-home the girlfriend

Chakakhanukkah − See if the local shelter will allow you to surrender your girlfriend.

Edit: well, this blew up. Thanks for the gold! ! Go adopt some cats!

monkey_mcdermott − FYI, cats are obligate carnivores. Don't bow into any "vegan cat foods" or anything like that in an effort to make this work.

Your cat will get sick, and it will die of malnutrition. Beyond which pets should not be an "until its inconvenient" commitment

palmbayenthusiasm − Oh, she CRAZY crazy.

These users expressed frustration with the girlfriend’s reasoning, explaining that a cat’s carnivorous nature cannot be ignored, even by vegans

ayecaptainaye − As a fellow vegan, no, this isn’t even cool. If she truly cared about animals she wouldn’t ask you to re-home your cat!

It has a loving home! Her way of thinking is ass backwards.

If someone told me I am not a real vegan because I have a dog I would laugh my ass off and tell them they can have their stupid label,

the dog stays, he’s family. Just like I’m sure your cat is your family.

stee_stee_ − I'm a vegetarian (have been for years) and have many friends that are either vegetarian or vegan.

But I would never in a million years a) make someone I'm dating change their diet to become a strict vegan or vegetarian

or b) make them get rid of their pet(s).

I also don't go around pushing my beliefs on ppl and going on and on about the horrors of meat. She's crazy. Don't give up Mittens for her.

This group speculated that the girlfriend’s request might reflect deeper control issues in the relationship and shared personal experiences

Unrealpeople24 − I wonder if this isn’t really about veganism but more of her finding ways in an intimate relationship

to express control over her partner. The fact that she doesn’t possess the skills to be flexible, compromising,

or negotiate with a partner is a big red flag to me. As a cat lover, I’m very glad you stuck by mittens!

xaygoat − Ironic. A vegan who doesn’t want to eat animals but wants one species to go extinct...

Don’t get rid of your cat. You’ll regret it when y’all break up.

Modo21gen3 − Dude I got rid of a Savannah Monitor I had for years over a girl.

I had that thing from the time it was the size of my pinky to weighing 9lbs.

I tamed it and could take it for walks and everything. I gave him up, but the relationship didn’t work out.

I’ll never forgive myself for putting her first over a pet that had been there for me in the darkest of times.

The cat stays bro. Don’t be stupid, true love is full of compromises. A f__king cat shouldn’t be one. You’ve already changed enough bro.

These users criticized the girlfriend’s extreme stance on veganism and urged the OP to keep the cat

parkavenueWHORE − Please choose the right pussy. ! Mittens. Choose Mittens. ! <

jewelroses − She sounds pretty ignorant. People go vegan as a rule because we have the option to.

We can be less of a burden on the meat industry and one less animal will be slaughtered etc.

However, it’s part of the natural order for cats or other predators to eat meat.

Yellowstone for example has seen a huge benefit to the ecosystem since wolves have been reintroduced. Don’t get rid of your cat.

Reddit users have overwhelmingly supported his decision to stand by Mittens, and experts recommend carefully considering the relationship’s long-term viability if such requests for compromise are a recurring theme.

Ultimately, the young man will need to decide whether his relationship with his girlfriend is worth sacrificing something he deeply values. But for now, it seems clear that Mittens has earned his place as part of the family.

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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