When betrayal comes from family, it cuts deeper than almost anything else. For this woman, the discovery of her sister’s five-year affair was a blow to the trust they had built over the years.
Despite her sister’s insistence that she loved the man and had hoped he would leave his wife, OP couldn’t look past the lies and deceit. When her sister asked if she still loved her, OP’s honest answer was that she couldn’t say yes.
The fallout left the sister begging for forgiveness, but OP struggled with the realization that her sister had become someone she no longer recognized. Was it too harsh to cut ties with her sister, or was it a necessary step in protecting her own values and trust? Find out how others feel about this painful family situation.
One woman questions her love for her sister after discovering her 5-year affair with a married man
When someone you love reveals a side of themselves that sharply contradicts your moral compass or expectations, it shakes something fundamental inside you.
Love doesn’t switch off immediately, but trust, once broken, can shatter in an instant. That emotional rupture is what the original poster (OP) in this story is struggling with: not just betrayal by a sister, but a betrayal of shared values and integrity.
OP took her pregnant sister in, believing she was helping family in need. Instead, she walked into a situation where her sister had been secretly involved in a five‑year affair with a married man, a deception that not only hurt that woman and her children but also upended OP’s sense of who her sister is.
That’s not a simple mistake; it’s an ongoing betrayal of trust and ethical boundaries. Once someone you trust repeatedly lies and hides the truth, your sense of safety and relational confidence takes a hit. Trust isn’t just a warm feeling, it’s the expectation that someone will act in predictable, reliable ways that respect you and others.
Psychologically, betrayal by a loved one is deeply destabilizing. Psychology Today explains that discovering deception from someone close doesn’t just hurt emotionally, it alters how you perceive relationships. When trust is violated, it’s like a vase breaking: you can glue the pieces together, but it’s never quite the same.
The old, naïve trust doesn’t simply return by willpower alone. Healing requires acknowledgment of how deeply the betrayal affected you and, often, a re‑evaluation of boundaries.
Setting boundaries after betrayal isn’t a sign of cruelty, it’s a self‑protective emotional strategy. Therapy and relationship experts emphasize that boundaries help create psychological safety and clarify what behavior is acceptable going forward. They aren’t walls to punish others; they’re lines that help individuals know where they stand and prevent further harm.
In OP’s case, her choice to tell her sister, “I don’t know if I love you right now,” isn’t inherently heartless, it’s an honest expression of where she is emotionally.
Love and trust are not identical. You can still feel familial concern while simultaneously feeling unsafe or unsure how to relate to someone whose actions betrayed core values. Emotional healing often begins with truthful communication of limits, not suppression of hard feelings.
That said, honest doesn’t have to mean harsh. Over time, with mutual effort and perhaps professional guidance, relationships affected by betrayal can be reassessed and potentially rebuilt, but that process requires transparency, accountability from the person who caused harm, and a willingness from both sides to engage in authentic emotional work.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
These commenters agree that the sister’s actions were vile and inexcusable, particularly her affair and betrayal
This group supports the idea that the sister should leave the home immediately to prevent further issues
![[Reddit User] − NTA. My longest friend was a married man hunter. My mother was the same.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/wp-editor-1776929351852-2.webp "Woman Tells Her Sister She Doesn’t Know If She Loves Her After Discovering Her 5-Year Affair")
These commenters argue that the sister has not shown true remorse for her actions
This group believes that the sister’s lack of consideration for others, including her selfishness and manipulation, should not be excused
Can you ever truly forgive someone who has shattered your trust, especially when their actions involve hurting so many others? Do you think the woman was justified in telling her sister she didn’t love her anymore, or was she too harsh in her response? Share your thoughts below!
