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Mother Lets Daughter Get Lip Injections At 17, Now Ex-Husband Wants To Limit Her Visitation

by Annie Nguyen
April 28, 2026
in Social Issues

Body image issues are something many young people struggle with, and for this woman’s daughter, thin lips were a source of years of distress.

After saving up for two years, the daughter asked her mother to help pay for lip injections, and the mother agreed, thinking it would give her daughter the confidence she needed. The procedure was done by a reputable doctor, and the daughter was thrilled with the results.

But the decision didn’t sit well with the father, who accused the mother of making a mistake and ruining their daughter’s face. Now, the mother is wondering if she went too far, especially after family members joined in with criticism.

Was she wrong to support her daughter’s decision to enhance her appearance, or was she just trying to help? Keep reading to discover how this family dispute unfolded.

A mother pays for her 17-year-old daughter’s lip injections to help with body image issues, leading to a family conflict when the father and relatives react negatively

Mother Lets Daughter Get Lip Injections At 17, Now Ex-Husband Wants To Limit Her Visitation
not the actual photo

'AITA for getting my daughter lip injections?'

I would like others to give me their opinion on this situation.

A lot of people are angry with me but I think at the end of the day I did this to help my daughter.

My daughter is seventeen years old. She turned seventeen in February. Since she was around ten, she has been complaining about her lips.

She inherited her fathers thin lips. They are a great shape, but they are thin. She has been bullied for it for ages.

She has come crying to me about it several times. I thought she would get over it as she got older, but she never has.

My daughter lives with her father and step mother full time because I travel for work.

But when I am in town, she tends to stay with me for weeks at a time. We are very close.

Two weeks ago she confided in me that she had been saving money for lip injections for two years now. She had a lot of money saved up.

We had a heart to heart about it and I decided to go ahead and pay for her to get them from a good doctor.

I signed the consent forms and we did it. She is very happy with them, she loves them. They have really balanced out her face.

When it was time for me to leave for work again, I took her back to her father’s. He flipped it.

He started yelling at both of us and claiming that we destroyed her face.

I apologized to him for not clearing it with him, but it was because I knew that he would say no.

This was something she has really wanted for a long time. He argues that she is a child and doesn’t know what she wants.

Of course he has spread the news of the lip injections to several family members.

They think that it is shameful that I would take my daughter to get plastic surgery and are urging him to limit my visitation (probably not going to happen).

I think that they just do not empathize with my daughter and are excited to shame me for letting her get the most minor plastic surgery.

She would have gotten it herself anyway, I just wanted to make sure it was done correctly. AITA?

In this situation, OP’s desire to help her 17‑year‑old daughter feel more confident by facilitating lip injections stemmed from empathy and a protective instinct, especially after years of bullying about her appearance. However, the decision also touches on established medical and psychological concerns about cosmetic procedures in adolescents.

Medical ethics and pediatric research emphasize that cosmetic procedures for people in their teenage years should be approached with care. Adolescence is a psychologically sensitive developmental stage during which teens are still forming their identity and self‑esteem.

Research reviews highlight that although adolescents increasingly seek cosmetic procedures, these interventions carry emotional and developmental risks, and there is limited evidence on long‑term benefits or risks for teens. Adolescents may not fully understand or appreciate these long‑term impacts because their self‑perceptions are still evolving.

Leading medical organizations do permit cosmetic procedures on minors with parental consent, but they recommend careful evaluation of emotional maturity and realistic expectations before proceeding.

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), cosmetic procedures on teenagers might have positive outcomes if the adolescent demonstrates emotional maturity, realistic goals, and understands both benefits and limitations.

However, they also stress that these are elective procedures with risks like discomfort, temporary swelling, and potential psychological consequences if the underlying self‑esteem concerns aren’t also addressed.

Body image issues are widespread among teenagers, making decisions about cosmetic enhancements even more complex. Adolescents are still developing physically and psychologically, and their body image can be heavily influenced by peers, media, and social comparisons.

Studies show that exposure to idealized beauty standards, including online filters and advertising, can contribute to body dissatisfaction and a desire to change one’s appearance, even if it’s not medically or emotionally necessary.

The ethical framing of cosmetic procedures for teens frequently points out that informed consent is tricky: teenagers may express a desire for change, but true informed consent requires understanding all potential outcomes, psychological implications, and age‑related considerations, something even consenting adults can struggle with.

Research journals note that without long‑term data, it’s difficult for clinicians to fully explain risks or benefits to younger patients, often resulting in decisions made more from social pressures than mature self‑assessment.

From the father’s perspective, his concern that his daughter “is a child and doesn’t know what she wants” aligns with mainstream medical caution: teens are still influenced by social factors and are in a developmental stage where self‑esteem and identity evolve rapidly.

Though emotional pain from bullying is real, studies suggest that body image dissatisfaction often improves with age regardless of cosmetic intervention, casting doubt on whether surgical modification truly addresses the root of the emotional distress.

At the same time, national polls show that parents’ opinions vary widely on whether cosmetic treatments are appropriate for teens. Some parents support non‑surgical enhancements under certain conditions, while others only endorse procedures when there are strong emotional or medical justifications.

In these polls, parents emphasize the importance of guiding teens to understand their motivations and the limitations of such procedures.

In conclusion, OP’s intentions were empathetic, but the situation involves more than simply wanting to help her daughter. The broader research and expert guidance indicate that cosmetic procedures for adolescents are medically and psychologically complex. They require careful evaluation of maturity, motivations, realistic expectations, and potential impact on self‑image.

While OP’s daughter may feel happier with her appearance now, opponents of early cosmetic changes raise valid concerns about age‑related vulnerability, body image development, and lasting psychological effects. Open communication with all caregivers and a focus on emotional support, not just physical change, is crucial in situations like this.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters agreed that the OP is at fault for not consulting the daughter’s father before making the decision,

grumpyspudgal − YTA. For not talking to the other parent, because avoiding difficult conversations is a deeply immature thing to do,

especially when it involves your daughter.

Samuel24601 − YTA for not clearing it with her father first, knowing full well he was against it.

The girl’s gonna be an adult in less than a year, you could have waited and avoided this.

RGD1983 − YTA, you did this behind her father's back(who is her primary caregiver) and while she's a minor. That alone makes YTA.

DrFishTaco − YTA - from what you said either you have joint custody or he has custody and you have visitation

She’s still a minor and you should’ve discussed it with him prior

[Reddit User] − I think YTA. In a co-parenting situation, you should have at least consulted your co-parent

before taking your child to get an elective medical procedure. I'd feel differently if your daughter was already 18.

If she was an adult, no need to consult the other parent. But she wasn't.

SandwichOtter − YTA. What I find most disturbing is the sentence "They have really balanced out her face".

I'm wondering if on an unconscious level you were reinforcing her low self-esteem in this area.

Especially since her lips apparently remind you of her father. I can't imagine being bullied for having thin lips. That just seems so specific.

Not saying it didn't happen but I get the feeling you wanted her to do this just as much as she wanted it.

This group understood the OP’s perspective and supported her decision to help her daughter get the procedure, especially given her long-standing desire for it

banjotwenf − NTA she’s 17 and if she’s been this serious about it for 7 years now I doubt it’ll change in 12 more months.

I do agree that you should have told her father first but he’s completely wrong for saying you “ruined her face”

(As far as I know) most Lip fillers go down after a while so it’s not like it’ll be that that for forever

MiddleEiffel − NTA I am going against the grain here. I completely understand everyone's logic on saying you are the a__hole.

It isn't a good idea to really encourage plastic surgery on kids, but there is a point where I get it.

I'm sure you and her father have told her since she was 12 she is beautiful the way she is.

Some people are saying to teach her to 'deal with bullying. ' I'm not sure those people were every bullied for something they cannot help.

Also, when since is it the victims problem to deal with it? This is something that has probably been addressed by teachers before.

This doesn't stop the nicknames or the damage already done.

When I was a kid, I was bullied for the long dark hair on my arms. Told if I shaved it I'd look more feminine.

So I did. Even as adult I still do, and I won't let them grow out. I have that option to change that though. Nobody stopped me from shaving.

Nobody stops girls from putting on way to much make-up, straightening their hair, or coloring their hair.

You made a controversial decision. I absolutely understand why many would be against it.

However, it is a reversible process and it was done by a good doctor.

Otherwise, she probably would have started doing that terrible Kylie Jenner lip challenge or something.

She was going to do it as soon as she turned 18 anyways. With that kind of savings, we know that. You just made sure it was done right.

geminiyas − NTA I'll probably get downvoted but idc. 'She would have gotten them done anyways and I wanted her to get them done correctly'.

Exactly. She had the money and you don't need parental permission when you go to shady places.

Sure in an ideal world she would have been happy with her own lips. But she isn't. And hasn't been for a very long time.

Correct me if I'm wrong but lip injections aren't permanent right? So you made your daughter happy. And it's safe which is great. She's 17.

She's almost an adult. Some people on this site seem to think 16/17 year olds are incapable of making their own decisions.

I think they are often much more mature than they get credit for.

I do get why her dad is upset though so maybe have an honest conversation with him about why you did it.

MothsUponOldScarves − Everyone saying the mom somehow taught OP to be insecure about her lips is honestly ignorant.

I hated my nose since I was a child. I hated looking in mirrors, I hated taking pictures, I hated meeting new people and putting myself out there.

I loathed it all. All I was ever told was, “it’s not that bad! ”, “you’ll grow into it!”, “you’re so pretty, what are you talking about? ”

Honestly, that made me angry. I felt invalidated. I felt like my thoughts and feelings weren’t being taken seriously.

If I ever brought up my dream to get a nose job, I was shamed by friends and family.

Told I was perfectly fine, looks weren’t everything, I needed to love myself.

I was accused of being conceited, of having too many insecurities, of caring what others thought and trying to keep up with celebrities.

No, assface. I just wanted to look in a mirror and see a reflection that felt true to me. But I let what they said get to me.

I kept my nose after 18 because I knew it would be a giant s__t-show from everyone if I had done it.

Until I turned 23 and asked myself, “why the f__k am I denying myself something that will improve my quality of life just

because some people with NO SAY in how I treat MY BODY wants to voice their unwanted opinions?”

I got the nose job. Guess what? My confidence and love for life has SOARED in the last year. I can take pictures.

I can look in the mirror and smile. I’m trying new things and getting myself out there. I see myself, finally.

All I did was take my giant hump down. It looks so natural that no one would guess.

But in doing this for myself, I lost the respect of many people. My family did nothing but shake their heads and ask when I became so vain.

No skin off my nose. I’m happy. I just hope OP’s dad doesn’t f__k up their relationship,

because I’ve barely seen my own parents in the last year because of their reactions.

You have one life to live. If her daughter wants lip injections to bring them up and look a bit fuller,

I’m glad she got them after looking in the mirror and saving for years.

I’m glad she’s happy. Should the mother have spoken to the dad first? Yes, that would be the right thing to do with shared custody.

But I don’t think the act itself is wrong in any way. She was 17, she had the money, she just had a few more months to wait.

Her mother gifted her something she knew she wanted since she was a child.

Do you all truly believe in a few more months she’d suddenly wake up and decide against it?

If so, I can assure you you are very wrong. It was going to happen either way.

Now, she has it done correctly, and with her mother’s blessing. EDIT: ESH. OP, you technically should have asked the dad... but I get why you didn’t.

His reaction proves it. He’s a bigger a__hole. It’s not his body, not his call. She’s almost an adult.

Otherwise, I see nothing wrong with what you did and I’m glad your daughter has an understanding mom that cares about her feelings.

itsmellbitch − The lip injections don’t even last forever. You’re NTA. Your daughter is old enough to make decisions and face consequence.

These commenters claimed both were wrong

reddy1218 − ESH but mainly you for not talking to your daughters father (aka her primary guardian) about this.

It’s pretty disrespectful that you didn’t at least consult him about it.

Her father sucks as well but only for saying that you destroyed your daughters face, which couldnt help her confidence. But I would say 99% YTA

newaxcounr − ESH this should have been a discussion with your ex because it’s a big decision and you’re coparenting.

he sucks for saying you ruined her face when she wanted the procedure done and likely likes it.

I wouldn’t worry too much about visitation if she’s 17, custody pretty much doesn’t matter once she’s an adult

Was she wrong for not discussing the decision with her ex-husband, or was he overreacting to something that would ultimately make her daughter happy? Should OP have apologized for her actions, or is her ex-husband just being controlling? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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