Bi Woman Cuts Off Master’s Cohort After They Mock Her For Dating A Man

Belonging to a marginalized group does not automatically prevent conflict within that group. Shared identities can still come with unspoken rules, expectations, and judgments about who is doing things the “right” way.

When someone deviates from those expectations, reactions can be surprisingly harsh. This story follows a bisexual woman navigating a graduate program where her peers openly critique her relationship choices.

What she experiences as discomfort and exclusion is framed by others as harmless teasing.

What the OP is experiencing isn’t random peer teasing, it aligns with well-documented patterns of biphobia, bisexual invisibility, and intragroup discrimination that bisexual people often face, including from within LGBTQ+ communities themselves.

Bisexual erasure, the tendency to ignore, dismiss, or re-explain bisexuality as confusion or a temporary phase, is a real phenomenon that occurs in both heterosexual and queer contexts.

Researchers note that when bisexual identities are overlooked or invalidated, it can negatively impact self-concept, visibility, and mental health because the person’s lived experience is effectively being denied.

Academic work on bisexual stigma also finds that bisexual people can be targeted by prejudice not only from outside the LGBTQ+ community but also within it.

For example, studies of attitudes toward bisexual individuals show that negative attitudes and discrimination from gay and lesbian people can limit bisexuals’ inclusion and belonging, which can manifest as skepticism about bisexual identity, pressure to choose one side, or dismissal of a bisexual person’s current relationship as negating their queerness.

That link between stigma and well-being has been explored in health research too.

Investigators have found that bisexual individuals often report higher rates of mental health difficulties, including anxiety and depression, compared to both heterosexual and gay/lesbian peers, and these disparities are linked to unique stressors like identity invalidation and social exclusion.

This pattern fits within broader minority stress theory, which holds that sexual minorities experience health disparities because of chronic discrimination and negative attitudes toward their identities.

A report published by multiple LGBTQ advocacy organizations calls bisexual people an “invisible majority” within the community because they represent a significant portion of the LGBTQ+ population but are less likely to feel fully accepted or supported by peers, friends, or institutions.

Bisexual people often encounter social rejection, invisibility, and bias, even from those who would theoretically be natural allies.

Looking specifically at interpersonal dynamics, microaggressions, subtle insults or dismissals based on identity, are among the most common forms of discrimination bisexual people report.

These can include jokes about a bisexual person’s choices, assumptions that their identity is illegitimate, or mocking reactions when their relationships don’t “fit” the expectations of peers.

Over time, microaggressions accumulate emotional weight, creating feelings of alienation and exclusion even among those who are nominally part of the same social group.

In this context, the OP’s choice to end the friendly relationship is less about “not handling teasing” and more about protecting her emotional safety after repeated invalidation.

Being laughed at when expressing discomfort about identity-related comments, especially when the reaction dismisses her lived experience, is exactly the kind of experience that research shows can harm psychological well-being.

Rather than acknowledging her concerns, her peers repeatedly reframed her reactions as ignorance or privilege denial without addressing the underlying hurt.

Neutral guidance here involves recognizing that identity acceptance isn’t simply a matter of “jokes” versus “serious discrimination”.

It’s about whether a person’s orientation is respected and validated, not just tolerated.

Even within LGBTQ+ communities, bisexual people often report feeling less connected or supported than their lesbian and gay counterparts, which can explain why the OP feels ostracized when her sexuality and partner choice are mocked rather than affirmed.

By withdrawing from a group that repeatedly invalidates her identity and minimizes her emotional experience, she is choosing consensual engagement over forced inclusion, a step many mental health professionals see as vital for preserving self-worth and relational health.

At its core, this story isn’t about who has more “privilege.” It’s about whether a person’s identity, including their sexuality and relationship choices, is afforded basic respect by the community they are a part of.

The research shows that bisexual people can experience unique forms of stigma, even from those who identify as queer, and that invalidating behavior can have real psychological consequences.

In that light, the OP’s response is not unreasonable; it reflects an understandable boundary in the face of repeated identity dismissal.

See what others had to share with OP:

These commenters clearly named the behavior for what they saw it as: biphobia and bi erasure.

This group spoke from lived LGBTQ experience and emphasized solidarity.

These commenters focused on the environment itself.

This cluster highlighted power and social dynamics.

These voices criticized what they saw as performative activism and “oppression ranking.”

This situation isn’t about labels. It’s about respect. The OP didn’t ask to be centered, praised, or shielded from jokes forever.

She asked not to be mocked, dismissed, or treated as a punchline for who she loves. Being part of a marginalized group doesn’t grant permission to belittle someone else’s identity, especially within the same community.

Was she right to step back for her own emotional safety, or should she have endured it for the sake of harmony? Where does “teasing” end and exclusion begin? Share your thoughts.