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Cousin Brags About Red Pill Wisdom, Gets Schooled By A 19-Year-Old Genius

by Katy Nguyen
October 25, 2025
in Social Issues

Some relatives have a knack for making every conversation uncomfortable, and Dave, a 19-year-old cousin, might just take the crown for it. Between inflated egos, snide remarks, and rigid opinions about women, he made an ordinary family reunion feel like a high-stakes debate.

When she decided to challenge his beliefs directly, laughter erupted and eyebrows were raised, but not everyone agreed on whether her response was fair. Now, she’s asking strangers online for guidance: did she handle it appropriately, or did she go too far?

The tension between family loyalty and speaking up hangs in the balance.

Cousin Brags About Red Pill Wisdom, Gets Schooled By A 19-Year-Old Genius
Not the actual photo

'AITA for rudely shutting down my cousin's ridiculous talk?'

Last week I (19F) went home from college for spring break. My cousin Dave and his family were also visiting for spring break.

Now I can't really stand Dave because he has a very obnoxious personality. He likes to show off and put other people, especially girls, down.

He has a high ego because my aunt and uncle spoil him a lot. He has a weird thing for cars.

For example, in our family, we, the kids, have to pay for half our cars, so he looks down on my brother for driving a used Camry that has dents...

He also has some really s__tty views about women, and he listens to a lot of internet gurus that say derogatory things about women.

The people he follows also blame the natural consequences of their actions on some shadowy secret "matrix" of some sort.

Since my cousin also spews points about not trusting women pilots, or saying that men own women, I decided to ask him one simple question.

I said, "You seem to talk about The MatriT a lot, and about taking the red pill and seeing the reality for what it really is.

By any chance, do you know who created the movie, The Matrix, which everything you're saying is based on?"

He said he didn't. I responded that 2 women did, so women are responsible for a core tenet of your top G's philosophy.

He then looked it up and started to say something else, but was drowned out by the laughter of the group; his expression was just too iconic.

Now, however, my aunt is saying that I was too mean to him, which I think is ridiculous, and she says I'm acting too much like a man.

I honestly don't know how to respond to something like that, but being criticized like that by a woman I ordinarily respect a lot is making me second-guess putting Dave...

Maybe I could have been a bit more civil about it, but I'm glad I did it, though; there's just some lingering doubt.

Underneath the OP’s frustration lies a familiar family dynamic: the tension between confronting outdated beliefs and maintaining peace. Dave’s behavior, boasting about cars, belittling women, and spouting conspiracy theories, elicits rightful irritation.

However, the OP’s challenge isn’t just Dave’s comments but the broader family response. Some relatives may dismiss the behavior, labeling it as harmless or “just Dave being Dave,” while others might view the OP’s confrontation as disruptive.

This dichotomy highlights a common dilemma, should one challenge harmful beliefs and risk familial discord, or remain silent to preserve harmony?

Family dynamics often complicate such situations.

A 2021 Pew Research Center survey found that 59% of U.S. adults find political discussions with those who disagree stressful, a sentiment that can extend to other contentious topics like gender roles and conspiracy theories.

Dave’s behavior may be rooted in entitlement and a lack of accountability, traits that can persist into adulthood if not addressed.

Dr. Leon F. Seltzer, a licensed psychologist, emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries in relationships.

He suggests that confronting inappropriate behavior is less about winning an argument and more about establishing clear limits and demonstrating respectful communication.

This perspective is pertinent to the OP’s situation: addressing Dave’s comments directly and setting boundaries can help maintain personal integrity without escalating conflict.

Neutral advice would be for the OP to continue asserting boundaries when necessary, using “I feel” statements to express discomfort without attacking Dave’s character.

Engaging in these conversations with empathy and clarity can foster mutual respect and understanding. Additionally, involving other family members who share similar values can provide support and reduce the likelihood of the OP being isolated in her stance.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These Redditors highlighted the aunt’s internalized misogyny as a key factor enabling Dave’s obnoxious behavior.

cottondragons − This is too easy. Setting the stage: my aunt and uncle spoil him a lot.

Then: He... was drowned out by the laughter of the group. No one else thought it was mean or undeserved, then.

Lastly, my aunt... says I'm acting too much like a man. And there we have it. Aunt is a misogynistic bigot, and she raised a misogynistic bigot son.

Of course, she's going to have an opinion on you putting down her precious baby. The good news is, her opinion doesn't count.

ETA: NTA. And re-evaluate your opinion on your aunt, please.

KaliTheBlaze − NTA. Sounds like your aunt may have some internalized misogyny, if she thinks this was “manly” behavior.

Dittoheadforever − Now, however, my aunt is saying that I was too mean to him.

So the person who created the monster is defending her precious baby against being contradicted.

No surprise there. she says I'm acting too much like a man Whatever that is supposed to mean. You're NTA.

AceOfGargoyes17 − NTA at all. Your aunt's internalised misogyny has probably partially enabled Dave's blatant misogyny, though.

This group celebrated OP’s boldness in shutting Dave down.

RedditStaffCantCode − NTA, pointing out facts is mean, now? I don't even know what she's possibly labeling as "manly," but since she has such a low opinion of women, that...

Also, The Matrix was made by two trans women and is a trans metaphor. :D

Viol3nt_Midget − 100% NTA that is hilarious! Congratulations OP you are a warrior fighting outdated views on women one i__ot at a time.

throwaway1000164 − I'd apologise to your aunt, that you're sorry you pointed out she raised a man who thinks she's worth less than he is, and is ignorant to boot.

Not actual advice, but a good head scenario to make you feel better when she makes you mad.

FalconJaeger − NTA. You shut him down in a glorious way.

journalisming − 100% NTA. It is so satisfying to have someone so obnoxious be put in their place.

I agree that your aunt has a sense of internalized misogyny for her comment about being manly for making a comment.

It looks like the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Simply engaging someone with a question about something they’re openly discussing (in this case, very misogynistic and inaccurate viewpoints about women) isn’t a masculine move; it’s social behaviour.

His feeling butthurt that his views are being challenged is on himself.

If he isn’t willing to have anyone question him about his own discussion points that I’m assuming he’s all subjected to, unprompted, he isn’t very mature enough to have a...

You were not being rude; you just asked a question.

These commenters provided practical insight and context, noting that Dave’s attitudes are fueled by online echo chambers and reliance on others for financial or emotional support.

Various-Bridge-325 − NTA. You were not rude (though you could have been given his disgusting behaviour and attitude towards women), you were just telling the truth.

So he can give but not take, and he appears to still be a mama's boy who needs his mommy to stand up for him. Good thing you put him...

Maybe from now on he will be less egotistic - at least in front of you!

throwaway1000164 − NTA. Dave needs an internet detox. Most of the men I know who think like this also rely on a woman for a majority of their financial, emotional,...

Every time they bring stuff like this up, I remind them they're the most dependent men I know.

They'll never learn, because they get a moment of 'well' bluster, and then follow it up with hours of voice chats where they hate women and blame them for being...

whatamievendoing88 − He’s going to hate the fact that they’re trans women and the “red pill” is similar to the way estrogen looked in the 90s.

The whole matrix is a trans allegory. If you want to be petty, send them links https://www.newsweek.com/matrix-creator-red-pill-trans-allegory-mens-rights-activists-1523669?amp=1

Short and blunt, this subset underscored that OP’s actions were not harsh but necessary, pointing out the absurdity that such questions even need to be asked.

WTFK-1919 − NTA almost unbelievable that you’d need to ask.

[Reddit User] − You're NTA, your family is.

LaLii_2000 − NTA. I don't see how what you said was harsh. Bad news is, he being like that is also 50% responsibility of a woman...

Looking back, it’s easy to see why OP felt compelled to speak up, Dave’s arrogance and outdated views were grating on everyone.

Some readers cheered the OP’s quick-thinking and factual takedown, while others questioned whether it was overly harsh for a family gathering.

How would you handle a cousin with a giant ego and questionable beliefs? Share your thoughts below, would you laugh along, educate, or stay silent in that moment?

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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