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This Dad Walked Out On His Son And Daughter Because He Couldn’t Handle Learning They Weren’t Biologically His

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

the truth detonates your whole world: your wife had an affair with your own brother, and neither of your children is biologically yours.

That’s the nightmare one Redditor lived through. The discovery sent him spiraling into the darkest place he’d ever been, until he finally decided he had to walk away. He left behind the family he thought was his, his wife, his kids, his old life, and returned to his home country to start over.

But before he disappeared, he made sure they were provided for. A house. A car. A carefully planned financial portfolio to secure their future.

Yet despite all this, his family is calling him heartless for leaving the kids he’d raised. Is he truly abandoning them, or is this the only way he can survive?

Want the full, gut-punching story? Check out the original post below.

This Dad Walked Out On His Son And Daughter Because He Couldn’t Handle Learning They Weren’t Biologically His

Aita For Leaving My Son And Daughter Because I Can't Handle The Fact They Aren't Mine?

This may be final update I'm not sure

I will keep this as short as possible but I'm leaving my son and daughter as I discovered my wife had an affair with my brother and both my children aren't mine,

I was very suicidal after finding out the truth and I was close but I was too scared at the same time and I didn't want my wife to win.

My 'son' and 'daughter' deserve a good life so I put the house ownership into my daughter name so she owns it (I only owned the house not my wife) and I gave my Car to my son so when he passes his license,

He can drive it and a portfolio for him to access when he's 21 and I'm going back to my home country to live near my family and start all over, I admit I may be an a**hole for this but no therapy can help me see that they are mine but I hope they understand my point of view and hopefully have their

future secured. I wrote letters to both of them as I'm too much of a c**ard to face them stating that I'm leaving the country but I will visit from time to time and I hope they understand that there future is secured and I will always cherish the memories I had with them..

Edit:

I just wanna clarify some things, I don't know the condition of my wife, she overdosed on paracetamol and her lungs were already messed up from her drinking problems, when I saw her in my house, she looked lifeless

Secondly, people asked what happened to my brother,

I simply told my entire family that he was a cheater and my whole family abandoned him, I also told my wife parents who she confessed a previous affair and they practically disowned her too,

her sister and her husband have been very supportive and I will admit I will miss them too and their baby but I must move on.

Finally my 'children' won't be alone, I gave up my master bedroom to my 'children' aunt, uncle (no not my brother) and baby cousin, the kids have always had a good relationship and they deserve a good life not worrying about bills etc,

I left them a good check since they were very supportive throughout all of this and their baby also deserves a good life who I will dearly miss.

A Betrayal That Shatters Bonds and Leaves No Easy Answers

This story reads like the final act of a Greek tragedy: betrayal, loss, and a man so broken he couldn’t bear to stay.

The Redditor’s pain is impossible to overstate. He didn’t just lose a marriage. He lost his identity as a father. The children he thought were part of him suddenly became a reminder of the deepest betrayal imaginable.

His thoughts of ending his own life are proof of how far he’d fallen. As Dr. Judith Sills, a psychologist writing in Psychology Today, says, “Betrayal can fracture your sense of self so profoundly that drastic decisions feel like the only way to survive.”

And that’s what his decision was: survival.

He didn’t abandon his kids without a second thought. He left them a house, a car, and money to ensure they’d never have to struggle. But emotionally, he felt he couldn’t stay and pretend nothing had happened. Seeing them every day, knowing they were his brother’s children, was too much to carry.

From the children’s side, though, this loss will hurt. They are innocent. They loved him as their dad, and his sudden disappearance could scar them forever. A 2022 Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry study found that kids who experience parental abandonment have a 40% higher risk of anxiety and low self-esteem.

And this isn’t happening in a vacuum. The family is already in chaos. His wife overdosed in the aftermath, and he was disowned by other relatives. The kids are now living with their aunt and uncle—safe, but without the father figure who was there for every scraped knee and bedtime hug.

What Defines a Father – Blood or Love?

This is the question tearing Reddit apart: What makes someone a dad?

Is it the biology that binds you, or the memories you built together?

Many users say his heartbreak doesn’t erase the years of love. Others insist he can’t be expected to keep living a lie.

Dr. Sills believes there isn’t a single “right” answer. “Healing from betrayal,” she writes, “requires acknowledging your pain without letting it define all your relationships.” In other words, therapy could help him learn to stay connected to the kids, even if he can’t forgive his ex-wife or brother.

But for him, right now, the only way to stop hurting was to leave.

What’s Next?

Some wonder if he could have chosen a middle path, staying in contact through calls, visits, or letters. Perhaps over time, he might have rebuilt a connection with the children.

But to him, it felt like living with an open wound.

So he walked away.

Let's dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Tiny-Peenor − It sounds like OP is planning a suicide, not leaving the country… I’m not saying this to be coy or make light of anything: judging by his post history and the behavior he’s listing (giving away all his belongings, writing a note, et c) he is not planning on just leaving the country.

YouSayWotNow − With no idea how old the children are now it's hard to really comment. If they are older (15+) then perhaps you can explain to them what's happened, and that you are not coping with it at all well and that your need to leave in order to protect your mental health and sanity.

But make it clear you don't blame them and that you aren't walking out on them but on their mother and your brother. As you know, this is not their fault.

And I'm guessing that even with all this emotional turmoil, you can't just switch off the love you have for them, and you will probably always feel that love even if it's being blocked by the shock and hurt of being betrayed by both your wife and your brother right now.

If they are younger, then it's a harder call because they probably won't understand and will feel abandoned by you, you are the father they have always known and loved.

And whilst I can completely and utterly understand why you need to move away, it's harder to countenance being responsible for the level of hurt these kids will go through. You are NTA btw, nor are the kids. This is all on your wife and your brother.

Traditional_Crew6617 − Bro, im not going to tell you whether you're and a**hole or not. You do what you feel you have to do. I am going to say something else. Now, this is coming from the fact that my youngest isn't mine. My ex wife fucked my best friend and got pregnat.

When i finally found out, my dad asked me these same questions. 1. Who was there to see them come into the world? 2. Who was there for their first words, first steps, first everything. 3. When they needed to feel safe. Who did they go to? 4. Who has been the one that has always been there. The answers to all of that are You.

The only thing you weren't there for is conception. I had a very hard time for a long time coming to terms with this. I wanted to push her out of my life to take the hurt away. But it wouldnt taken it away. She would have always been in the back of my mind.

But she would look at me with her smile, and i just couldn't. I was Daddy plain and simple. Fast forward to now. I still think about it once in a while. But the hurt isn't there anymore, but her smile is. When she hugs me and tells me she loves me at 16. It makes my heart smile.

She isnt mine by blood, but she is mine all the same. Like i said, you do what you feel is right, and no one should judge you either way.

art4z − SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK: concealing the identity of a child's father is a form of Child Abuse. Any family court judge will tell you this.

It sets up a trajectory for that child's life where they are likely to experience extreme turmoil with their attachment father figure and simultaneously have been deprived of the opportunity for bonding and connection during crucial childhood times with their biological father.

There are no right answers here except that your ex is the AH.

naraic- − Hey op I think your actions (giving the kids a house a car and a stock portfolio) shows love and care. While you love the kids you can't face them. I urge you get therapy and come back after spending some time rebuilding you and being at a distance.

AwkwardFortuneCookie − You posted this previously. I was wondering how it worked out. 🤨 Very sad situation, I am sorry. I am hoping some day you and your kids can reconnect, because you are their dad, no matter what.

Lola-the-showgirl − From your comments, your daughter is 18 and your son is 16. You raised them their entire Iives, how can you just walk out of their lives and never look back? Giving them financial security is great, but it doesn't obsolve the tramua of their father abandoning them with a Dear Jon letter.

I can't begin to imagine how much pain you are in, how betrayed you feel by your wife and brother. But letting that betrayal steal the love you have for ***your*** children will haunt you. I truly believe you will regret this and urge you to not abandon your kids.

[Reddit User] − Seems a little extreme considering their age. Why not just get divorced and keep your relationship with them?

RamenAndMopane − No. It's your wife's fault. She created the problem and hid it from you - for years.

Flat-Entry90 − I think Yondu said it best: 'He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy. ' To those two kids, you are their daddy. Probably. ​ Your wife though, divorce her and never speak to your brother ever again.

If you were good to those two kids they are old enough to understand how it hurts and are probably pretty angry with their mother now. If you care anything about those two kids, check out therapy and re-think cutting them from your life.

But go ahead and cut your brother and I hope soon to be ex-wife from your life.

A Painful Goodbye or a Necessary Escape?

This Redditor’s story is a gut-wrenching clash of love, betrayal, and survival. Leaving his kids with a house, car, and cash shows he’s not heartless, but walking away from the family he built stings like a fresh wound.

Was he right to prioritize his mental health, or should he have fought to stay for the kids he raised? Can he rebuild trust enough to keep them in his life, or is starting over the only way to heal?

Share your thoughts below!

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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