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A Groom’s Sentimental Anniversary Date Leads to a Tense Stand-Off with His Mother

by Carolyn Mullet
December 30, 2025
in Social Issues

We all dream of the perfect wedding day. For some, it is a local gathering at a beautiful venue nearby. For others, it is a grand adventure to a place as romantic as the hills of Italy. One groom recently shared a story about his dream wedding that quickly turned into a bit of a nightmare before it even began. He and his fiancée chose a sentimental date and a beautiful location that felt just right for their budget and their history.

However, choosing a date during the school year when you have several siblings still in the classroom is often a recipe for a little chaos. His mother feels that a high school football schedule is far too important to miss. The couple, meanwhile, feels that they have waited long enough to celebrate their love. It is a story about the tricky balance between a couple’s vision and the busy lives of the people they love most.

Let’s see how this family conflict unfolded.

The Story

A Groom's Sentimental Anniversary Date Leads to a Tense Stand-Off with His Mother
Not the actual photo

AITA for not considering my family's schedule for my wedding?

My fiancée (28F) and I (31M) have been together for over 4 years. We have always been very vocal with everyone about having a destination wedding.

We love to travel, and weddings in the US are VERY expensive. We are paying for everything ourselves and receiving no financial help from family.

All of our friends and family are pretty well off, especially my mom who owns a very successful business.. Last year I finally popped

the question to my now fiancée. We were ecstatic and we started planning immediately. For the destination we initially decided on my fiancé's hometown in Mexico.

This is where the first issue started. My mom was questioning what there was to do around that area since they wanted to bundle

the wedding with a vacation and she didn't see the location as "ideal". Second issue was that it wasn't fair that my fiancée’s family

got to have the wedding so close to their home when my family had to travel so far. So eventually we scratched Mexico as

a destination spot and went with a more "fair" place where both sides had to travel. We ended up choosing Italy (believe it

or not Italy is surprisingly affordable compared to the US). Note: We are paying for a 2 night stay in our venue for

our immediate family including siblings (I have 6 my fiancé has 2). For the date, we chose our 5th anniversary which is October 2023.

This date is sentimental to us and it was 18 months away at the time and long enough for everyone attending to plan

their trip. This is where the largest issue ensued with my mom. She was extremely upset and blew up on me (putting it

mildly) because the date that we chose for our wedding coincided with my brother's (16M) HS football games along with activities for my

other three siblings (14M, 7F, 7F). They accused us of being selfish and inconsiderate for picking such an inconvenient date especially for my

brother (16M) since he is the quarterback of his team. According to her, it was impossible for him to skip a single game or

practice, leaving him out of the wedding. They have threatened to not attend our wedding unless we change the date to summer or December

to accomodate my siblings. If we were to change it, it would increase the cost for us and guests significantly due to high travel

season. We chose this date because it meant something to us and moving it was non-negotiable. My family still believes that we are

targeting them and purposefully excluding them from the wedding. This has been very hard for me since I am a very non confrontational

person, but I am holding my ground. Everyone else is excited and very supportive. Over 40 people have already RSVP'd and started planning

their trips but my parents have not even bought tickets yet. AITA for not changing my wedding date and by consequence excluding my brother?

Oh, friends, I feel like I need a little bit of pasta and a quiet moment after reading this one. It is such a difficult spot to be in! On one hand, you want your special day to reflect your journey as a couple. On the other hand, the logistics of a large family are always going to be a bit messy.

It’s truly a shame that the “fair” location ended up feeling like another point of contention. You can really feel the groom’s frustration about being told he is “targeting” his family. However, the school schedule is a real obstacle for kids. It is one of those times where there are no clear villains, just people with very different priorities trying to find their way.

Expert Opinion

Planning a wedding is often about more than just picking flowers and a cake; it is a complex negotiation of family dynamics. According to psychology experts at Psych Central, wedding stress can often bring “hidden” family patterns to the surface. When a mother becomes deeply upset over a schedule, it might actually be about a fear of losing influence over her child.

Sociologically, destination weddings have grown in popularity by over 200 percent in the last decade. This is often because they can actually be more affordable than traditional local ceremonies. While a 30,000 dollar US wedding is common, a smaller group in Europe can save a couple a significant amount of money. However, these savings often come at the expense of a lower attendance rate.

Research from The Gottman Institute reminds us that healthy families should be able to navigate “perpetual problems.” A conflict over a wedding date is rarely just about a single football game. It is often about whether everyone feels seen and respected. When a family feels that their daily responsibilities—like school or athletics—are being ignored, they may react defensively to protect their sense of order.

Expert etiquette coaches suggest that when you choose a destination, you must be prepared for the answer to be “no.” It is a delicate dance between your autonomy and their capacity to show up. Neither side is necessarily wrong, but a lack of empathy on both sides can turn a celebration into a source of long-term resentment.

Community Opinions

The internet community was quite divided on this one, with some standing by the couple’s independence while others urged them to be more practical.

Some neighbors felt the parents were being a bit too controlling regarding the venue and logistics.

books2246 − NTA: Switch it back to Mexico. If your family is going to be annoying anyway at least go with what you want 100 percent...

I honestly don't care for designation weddings myself (it seems a little like inviting your family to your honeymoon) but it's their wedding.

Solid_Quote9133 − Thats the problem with destination wedding, in order for people to make it they need to mess with stuff in there lives...

Not a quick thing on the weekend they need to plan like a week and take off work and other annoying things.

Other readers focused on the reality of the school schedule and the impact on the children.

mmiggs − You have four siblings in school, and made the choice to arrange a wedding half way around the planet during the middle of the school term...

Two of your siblings are in high school. There is zero chance I'd be taking my high school kids out of class for a week or more...

Interesting_Order_82 − NAH/YTA. You can’t expect your parents to drop everything during the school year when they have school age children,

to fly across the Atlantic for a destination wedding. You have to consider low attendance when you choose a destination wedding.

WaywardMarauder − You chose a destination wedding during the school year when you have siblings on school. You knew what you were doing. YTA.

Several people pointed out that both sides were making things more difficult than they needed to be.

kxaltli − ESH. Unfortunately you do have school aged siblings so you should have considered that when planning...

I'm not sure how Italy is somehow a compromise between Mexico and the US, either.

Your parents are kind of being jerks by getting you to change the destination, though.

Stephh075 − ESH - it was pretty rude and unreasonable for your mom to get upset about having the wedding in your fiancés home town in Mexico...

(But) You have 3 siblings who are in school and you planned a destination wedding right in the middle of the school year! What on earth were you thinking?

There was a concern about the long term impact of this decision on family relationships.

confused_ornot − Your mom will literally be angry with you, and you'll be resentful at her, for the rest of your life if you don't. That's not worth it.

So at minimum, just try to show some empathy that your brother won't be able to go to his own sister's wedding, instead of being angry at your family!

AcceptablePlay8599 − YTA If you want your family to attend your wedding, their schedules have to matter to you.

If you don’t care if your family is there, be clear on that. It sounds like you want to elope but you’re too disrespectful to just say it.

[Reddit User] − You can do what you want in the end, but you have no right to be upset when they don't come.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

When your dream wedding meets a family scheduling conflict, it helps to pause and listen to the “why” behind the anger. If you find yourself in this groom’s shoes, start by acknowledging the difficulty of the situation. You might say, “I know asking everyone to travel during the school year is a huge request, and it saddens me that the timing is tough.”

Compromise doesn’t always mean moving the whole wedding. Could you hold a small, local party for the family after you return from Italy? Or perhaps find a way for the siblings to participate via a high-quality live stream? Staying flexible shows that you value your siblings even if the date cannot be changed. It is all about making everyone feel like they still matter.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, a wedding is just a single 24-hour period, but a marriage and a family bond are meant to last a lifetime. Balancing the needs of your inner child and your adult family is a huge challenge. Whether the groom chooses Italy or his family’s schedule, we hope there is room for everyone to eventually find peace.

Would you miss your sibling’s wedding for a sports season, or would you expect your family to move the whole event for you? Let us know your thoughts and how you would handle this delicate travel dilemma!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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