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A Husband Decided To Divorce His Wife Once Their Youngest Child Headed To College

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Imagine a marriage that once felt warm slowly icing over until the bedroom turned colder than a January night. That was the quiet reality of a 47-year-old man who spent the past decade raising kids beside a woman he no longer loved while secretly searching for the affection she withheld.

Thirteen years had passed without intimacy. In that void, he drifted into three affairs, each an attempt to feel wanted again. He tried therapy, pleaded for change, and finally accepted nothing would improve.

Now, as their 17-year-old son prepared to leave for college, he confessed everything, the betrayals, the emptiness, the desire for divorce. But instead of rage, his 50-year-old wife stunned him with sudden affection, promising she could love him again.

A Husband Decided To Divorce His Wife Once Their Youngest Child Headed To College

This story’s got more twists than a daytime drama – here’s the original Reddit post that started it all:

Was he heartless for wanting to leave, or was it simply too late?
Aitah For Wanting To Leave My Wife After Our Youngest Goes To College?

My(47m) wife(50f) changed after kids were born. Its like she hated me. She hated my presence. S** life was pretty much non existent after our youngest was born. I havent had s** with my wife for 13 years.

For 3 years I tried everything, we went to therapy, but nothing changed so I just accepted my fate. I did start cheating casually after 3 years of deadbedroom which never really fulfilled me. So I had a three full blown affairs. That has been my life. I have been leading double life for past decade.

I didnt divorce her because I didnt want my kids raised by another man. We did make very good parents just not good husband and wife. So my son is 17 now and I think its good time to leave so I confessed to my wife about all my affairs and asked for divorce.

She was apparently very hurt by it which surprised by it because I could have bet my kidneys, that she was planning to leave me too. After the initial shock settled, she changed. Now suddenly her libido is through the roof and she wants to f**k me everyday. She has become very affectionate.

She does not want me to leave and is promising me all the s** I want. But I dont really love her. She is somehow blaming me for not telling her that s** was so important to me😒. My bad maybe I should have taken her to therapy regarding s**, wait a minute, I f**king did.

Not that it matters anymore, I stopped loving her years ago. She wants me to go to therapy now 😒.. I think its too little too late.. AITAH?

A Marriage Gone Dry

Their story held more twists than a soap opera, but the truth was simple: for thirteen years, they hadn’t touched each other.

After their youngest was born, she seemed to drift away. The warmth vanished, replaced by routines and cold silence. He suggested therapy, and for three years they tried, but nothing changed. She never reached for him again.

Over time, the loneliness turned into quiet desperation. He started looking elsewhere, first a fling, then two more affairs that only proved the marriage was already over.

The Final Confession

Still, he stayed for the kids. But as their youngest prepared for college, he knew he couldn’t pretend anymore.

He confessed everything, his affairs, his emptiness, his wish for divorce. He expected anger. Instead, she surprised him with tearful affection, promising to change and begging him to stay.

But he felt nothing but a dull sadness.

According to the Journal of Sexual Research, nearly half of couples in long-term dead bedrooms feel emotionally hollow. His cheating was a betrayal, but in his eyes, it was the result of years of rejection.

Therapist Esther Perel once said, “Infidelity is often a symptom of deeper unmet needs.” He couldn’t deny he’d checked out long ago.

His wife’s sudden change felt like panic, not love. Maybe she hadn’t realized how close he was to leaving. But after so many years apart, he no longer believed they could fix what had broken.

Reddit’s serving up opinions hotter than a summer fling! Here’s what the community’s saying about this marital meltdown:

Let's dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some commenters cut straight to the heart of the matter, questioning deeper issues and whether this relationship should have ended long ago:

[Reddit User] − Does it matter? You don't seem to give a s**t, so just leave.

No_Bee1950 − I think you're an an ah for not leaving 10 years ago, for all the obvious reasons.

Low-Stick6746 − Since you went to therapy and you made it very clear in therapy that the lack of s** was an issue, was it ever discussed or explored why she lost interest in having s**?

Other Redditors didn’t sugarcoat their verdict, urging the poster to face reality and walk away without dragging things out any longer:

Zealousideal_Dog_968 − Jesus Christ leave her now.

Intrepid_Potential60 − People have reading comprehension issues. The question is not were you wrong for having affairs - you were. Duh. The questions is are you an AH for wanting to leave when the youngest goes to college. No, you aren’t.

You deserve to live a happy life, and this marriage isn’t giving you a happy life, and it hasn’t been for over a decade. Sometimes it isn’t fixable, sometimes, it is too late to mend things. This seems one of those times for the two of you. Leave, and find a happier life.

[Reddit User] − Honestly OP, what's left to decide anymore? The moment you started cheating you took your decision. Too much time had passed to try and mend things. So, I don't get why you're even asking; you don't love her, kids are gone, and you don't have a reason for staying.

Just be mindful that your children are going to suffer, regardless of their age. And it's going to be sad for them. Not saying, you need to stay for them, just be mindful about it.

Other commenters drilled into the bigger picture, calling out the long affair, questioning the timing of the divorce, and asking for more context about the marriage behind closed doors:

APartyInMyPants − You’re NTA for wanting to divorce your wife. That’s fine. But YTA for “waiting” until your kids go to college. And then proceeding to have an affair for a huge chunk of years. Of course YTA. You think your kids are oblivious to your marital problems??

yesimreadytorumble − You shouldn’t have cheated but you’re not wrong for wanting to leave. ESH i guess.

Ginger-Snappd − INFO: How many kids and ages? Did you both work while they were growing up? How soon after having each kid were you asking for s**? How did you help nurture her during the postpartum stage after each kid?

If she was a stay at home mom, how were household / childcare tasks divided when you weren't at work? (i. e.

doctors appts, sports/ school schedules, checking on out grown clothes, keeping up with family holiday functions / schedules, etc) So you attempted s** therapy but there are a lot of other factors besides desire that k**l a s** drive for a lot women.

Uneven division of labor, unchecked hormones, ultimatums involving s** vs leaving, knowing your partner was activity cheating on you, a visibly mentally checked out husband, and how she was treated while pregnant AND postpartum, are all just a few examples. What else did you attempt to resolve / fix?

Are these takes a roadmap to clarity or just Reddit’s gossip mill spinning? You be the judge!

His confession, years in the making, had cracked their brittle marriage wide open. Now he stood at the edge of something final, wondering if there was any point in trying to piece it back together.

Was he heartless for walking away when she finally reached out, or was he simply facing the truth she refused to see?

If you were in his shoes, would you accept her sudden change of heart, or would you close the door on a decade of emptiness?

In the end, who really bears the blame when love slips quietly out of a marriage?

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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