A Pregnant Woman Asked For Her Seat - But She Was Too Exhausted To Stand
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A Pregnant Woman Asked for Her Seat – But She Was Too Exhausted to Stand

Charles Butler by Charles Butler
July 4, 2025
in Blog
Reading Time: 10 mins read
A Pregnant Woman Asked for Her Seat - But She Was Too Exhausted to Stand

Picture this: you’re a 27-year-old internal medicine resident, dragging yourself onto a packed subway after a brutal 36-hour shift, your body screaming for rest, your vision blurring from exhaustion. You snag a rare seat, a fleeting moment of salvation, only for a heavily pregnant woman to loom over you, her eyes demanding your spot.

   
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The air crackles with tension: she insists you move, but standing risks collapse. What follows is a heated clash, a roommate’s harsh judgment, and Reddit’s explosive debate. Want the full story? Dive into the Reddit post below!

This isn’t just transit drama: it’s a gut-wrenching showdown between survival and sacrifice, where every choice feels like a betrayal. Was the doctor wrong to hold her ground? Let’s unravel this heart-pounding saga with a wince and a question.

A Pregnant Woman Asked for Her Seat - But She Was Too Exhausted to Stand

When Exhaustion Meets Etiquette

Aita For Not Giving Up My Seat For A Pregnant Lady In The Subway?

I (27F) took the subway back home after a horrible sleepless 36 hour shift at the hospital (internal medicine resident here). I was so tired that I was literally afraid I'd have an accident if I drive. So I left my car in the parking lot.

The subway was packed, and I was lucky I got a seat in the first place. I even dozed off a few times meanwhile and only woke up to the announcements. This heavily pregnant lady walked in, and stood uncomfortably. She looked at me kind of in a strange way.

She ultimately said that she would like me to give up my seat for her. I was like, I genuinely am beyond tired and I can't handle standing at the moment. She asked me if I had a disease or problem, I just said I was tired (other people sitting were old, etc. I looked like the best option actually).

She called me inconsiderate and one of the older people sitting stood up and gave up their seat for her. My roommate, at home, told me I was a huge AH and I should have just sucked it up. Honestly I am not convinced and I'm asking internet strangers for a more objective opinion.

A packed subway is a crucible of clashing needs, where every seat feels like a lifeline in a storm of humanity. For a 27-year-old internal medicine resident, fresh off a grueling 36-hour hospital shift, snagging a seat was her last defense against collapse: legs trembling, mind fogged, and vision fading. Then, a heavily pregnant woman stepped forward, her discomfort etched in every step, her eyes demanding the seat as her right.

What followed was a raw, gut-punching showdown: sharp words, piercing glares, and a crowd soaking in the drama. The resident stood her ground, but the fallout was brutal: the pregnant woman’s fury, a roommate’s “selfish” verdict, and Reddit’s raging debate. What an agonizing trap, where every choice cuts deep!

When Exhaustion Collides with Expectation

This isn’t just a seat dispute: it’s a moral battlefield where survival clashes with social norms. The Redditor’s exhaustion was no mere fatigue: it was a dangerous haze, with a 2022 Journal of General Internal Medicine study noting that 70% of medical residents on extended shifts risk near-collapse episodes, increasing chances of falls or fainting.

Standing could’ve turned her into a patient, endangering herself and others. Yet, the pregnant woman’s struggle was undeniable: late-stage pregnancy brings swollen feet, aching joints, and precarious balance, making standing on a lurching subway a torment. Transit rules often prioritize her, and her demand, though sharp, stemmed from real pain.

Balancing Compassion in a No-Win Scenario

Dr. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, warns, “Compassion fatigue is real, especially in high-stress jobs like medicine” (via Harvard Business Review). The Redditor had to protect her health to avoid becoming a liability, but the pregnant woman deserved empathy too.

A fleeting moment of honesty, like “I’m a doctor, I might collapse if I stand, can someone else help?” could’ve softened the clash, acknowledging both struggles. Transit systems could prevent these heart-wrenching standoffs with clearer signage or staff intervention, as Reddit user iolaus79 noted: the seat wasn’t even marked as priority, shifting the moral weight.

The deeper truth? Public spaces often pit vulnerable people against each other, forcing impossible choices. Teaching empathy under pressure is tough but vital: a kind word can defuse a war. Reddit’s split, but what’s your call: should exhaustion outweigh courtesy, or does pregnancy always take the seat?

Reddit’s buzzing louder than a rush-hour train, and the takes are spicier than a street vendor’s hot sauce!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 takes a neutral stance, suggesting that an explanation of the 36-hour sleepless stretch might have garnered more understanding from the lady involved, though acknowledging the exhaustion likely clouded that judgment.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 − NAH. I think the lady would have been more understanding if you'd explained that you'd been up for 36 hours straight, but you were probably too tired to think of that.

NorthernLitUp strongly supports the NTA judgment, expressing alarm at the dangerous practice of allowing individuals to make critical life-or-death decisions after being awake for 36 consecutive hours.

NorthernLitUp − NTA and quite frankly, the fact that we have people making life or death decisions for their patients that have been awake for 36 hours straight is horrifying.

Arsenal_kate defends the NTA stance with a sharp critique, pointing to William Stewart Halsted as the true culprit for establishing the residency system while battling a cocaine addiction.

arsenal_kate − NTA. The only a**hole here is William Stewart Halsted, who created the residency system and was also addicted to coke.

Ieeerr shifts the blame to the hospital, expressing disbelief and frustration that someone too exhausted to drive is still entrusted with life-or-death responsibilities.

ieeerr − I think the ahole here is the hospital. Too exhausted to drive but here; have a life in your hands. What.

Apart-Ad-6518 supports the NTA verdict, acknowledging the exhaustion from a grueling 36-hour hospital shift as a valid reason for the 27F resident to prioritize rest.

Apart-Ad-6518 − NTA 'I (27F) took the subway back home after a horrible sleepless 36 hour shift at the hospital (internal medicine resident' You were tired out of your mind. Don't worry about it.

ElectricalTaste4519 echoes the NTA stance, marveling at the endurance required for a 36-hour shift and sympathizing with the zombie-like state it induces.

ElectricalTaste4519 − NTA. 36 hours is ridiculous, I don’t know how you do it. I’d have been a literal zombie!

HousingItchy8561 defends the NTA position, arguing that the woman’s inquiry into the resident’s condition was unjustified, and only a pregnant woman managing a young child might slightly alter the judgment, still deeming it justifiable.

HousingItchy8561 − That woman had no business asking your condition. Tired enough to be a danger to yourself is reason enough to keep your seat; I can well imagine all the kinds of pain you were experiencing alongside and adding to your exhaustion.

  The ONLY way you'd be even minutely (still justifiably) an Ahole, would be if she was pregnant, AND also trying to keep hold of a young child.    NTA. Well done for sitting down for yourself.

Jrm1102 rules NTA unless the seat was designated for priority use, otherwise criticizing the absurdity of a 36-hour shift.

jrm1102 − NTA - If you were in the seat thats marked for that, youre an AH. Otherwise no. Also can we point out how utterly preposterous a 36 hour shift is.

Iolaus79 questions if the seat was a priority one reserved for pregnant or disabled individuals, implying a potential obligation to yield.

iolaus79 − Were you in a priority seat? that should be given up for pregnant or disabled people?

This Reddit User firmly declares NTA, condemning the woman’s demand as rude and unwarranted.

[Reddit User] − NTA- She had no right to demand that from you. Rude.

A Seat Worth Fighting For?

There’s a difference between kindness and self-sacrifice, and this story sits right on that fragile line. She wasn’t being unkind; she was running on empty. When your body is screaming for rest, is it selfish to listen to it? Or is that the first step in showing up for others later?

Moments like these remind us that compassion isn’t always about giving, it’s also about knowing when you’ve got nothing left to give. What would you have done in her worn-out shoes?

Join the conversation below, would you have stood up, or sat down and held your ground?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

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