After a 10-year relationship, OP (25M) proposed to his girlfriend (25F), but she declined, needing more time to stabilize her life.
Hurt, OP emotionally withdrew, stopped initiating, and is considering breaking up when their lease ends, even though she’s now ready to marry.
Is OP the a**hole for reacting this way? Let’s dive into the details and see what the online community thinks.
This story explores emotional hurt, communication, and the future of a long-term relationship. Did OP go too far?
This story reflects the complexities of communication and emotional hurt in a long-term relationship. The girlfriend’s request for more time is reasonable, especially at 25 and after dating since their teens.
However, OP’s passive withdrawal, rather than open communication, risks harming the relationship.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Open, honest communication is critical for resolving conflicts in relationships, especially after pivotal moments like a rejected proposal” (The Gottman Institute).
OP should openly discuss his hurt and concerns with his girlfriend, rather than withdrawing or delaying a breakup. Couples counseling could help clarify their desires and expectations.
If OP no longer wants to continue, he should end the relationship soon to give both time to prepare, rather than waiting for the lease to end. This case underscores the importance of communication and maturity in handling emotional setbacks.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Reddit is split: many criticize OP’s passive-aggressive behavior and lack of communication, calling it unfair to string his girlfriend along. Some empathize with his hurt but urge dialogue. Here’s a roundup of reactions.
Many criticize OP’s passive approach.
A few question the context.
Some empathize but call for communication.
OP isn’t entirely wrong for feeling hurt after his proposal was rejected, but his passive withdrawal and plan to delay a breakup are unfair to his girlfriend. Reddit criticizes his lack of communication but sympathizes with his pain.
How can OP handle this maturely? Have you faced rejection in a long-term relationship? Share your stories!
