Teen Dad Refuses To “Be A Father” And Plans To Leave Town For College

A Reddit teen’s “I am not a dad” stance blew up his entire town group chat.

He got a casual high school h__kup pregnant at 17. She said she took the pill. He did not use a condom. Six weeks later, she appeared on his doorstep crying happy tears, clutching a positive test, while her parents glared at him.

He begged for an abortion. His parents even offered to pay. She refused and chose to continue the pregnancy.

From that moment, he decided that if she wanted a baby, that baby would be hers alone. He would not attend the birth, sign any papers, or take on the “dad” label.

Now he has an out-of-state college acceptance, a packed garage sale, and a very angry girl accusing him of “abandoning” his son. His parents think he should at least build a relationship on school breaks. Half the town calls him a deadbeat. He insists he “fulfilled his responsibility” when he offered to pay for the abortion.

So, is he heartless, or just a scared teenager trying to protect his future?

Now, read the full story:

This whole situation feels like two teenagers trapped in an adult problem their brains are not ready for.

You can feel how panicked he is. He keeps repeating “I don’t want to be a dad” like a mantra against a reality that already exists. There is a baby now. A very real, living baby who did not choose any of this.

You can also feel Lily’s desperation. She wanted the baby. Now she wants the relationship and support that she imagined would come with it. Instead she has long nights, short tempers, and a guy who is packing for college.

This sense of being cornered on both sides is textbook for unplanned teen pregnancy. No one gets what they dreamed of. Everyone feels wronged.

Which leads to the real heart of it. Not “who is the villain,” but “what do you do when biology and law say ‘you are a parent’ and your whole soul says ‘I am not ready’?”

Let’s unpack that more carefully.

At its core, this story highlights three tangled issues. Consent to s__, consent to pregnancy, and consent to parenthood.

He consented to s__. He did not consent to becoming a father. She consented to the pregnancy. She did not consent to a future where she parents alone.

Reality does not always respect those lines.

Legally, in most places, once a child exists, both biological parents have obligations, regardless of whether they “wanted” the baby. Courts focus on the child’s rights to financial support, not on either parent’s regret. So while he can choose zero involvement emotionally, he probably cannot choose zero involvement financially.

Emotionally, his logic makes sense to him. He offered abortion. She refused. So he frames that as his “responsibility” ending. That is a very common way scared young fathers try to create a moral distance from a situation they cannot control.

But biology does not care that she said she took the pill. Birth control failure happens. Humans lie or forget pills. The risk still existed the moment they had unprotected s__.

On the other side, Lily may feel deeply betrayed. He slept with her, begged her to end a pregnancy she viewed as a baby, and now treats her child like a stranger in a grocery line. Her anger at the garage sale comes from fear. She is young, tired, likely scared of being stuck in that “podunk town” forever. Watching him drive off to college while she loads a baby into a car seat probably hurts in a way that feels unbearable.

That does not mean her expectations are realistic. Wanting a partner and father does not magically produce one. He told her, repeatedly, that he did not want that role. Continuing to hope that motherhood would change his mind sets her up to be disappointed again and again.

So what now, if we step out of the drama and look at the healthiest path forward for everyone, especially the baby?

For him:

He needs a hard, calm conversation with a real lawyer. Not Reddit, not friends, an actual attorney. He must understand what child support looks like, how paternity works, and what “signing away rights” actually does or does not do.

He also needs to drop the fantasy that he can pretend his kid does not exist and never pay a cent. Even if he never meets the child again, his future income may support that kid. Engineering salary or not.

For Lily:

She needs support that does not revolve around forcing this boy into being a partner. Family, therapy, state resources, childcare assistance, maybe co-parenting classes if he does decide to participate. The healthiest shift she can make is from “how do I make him stay” to “how do I build a stable life for my child with the resources I actually have.”

For the families:

Their pressure comes from fear and hope. His parents want their grandchild to feel loved and for their son to “do the right thing.” Her parents likely feel both furious and ashamed.

The most constructive role they can play now is practical support and clear boundaries. Encouraging him to learn his legal obligations. Encouraging her to take him to court for support if needed, rather than fighting in driveways and at garage sales.

And for the child:

The baby did not ask for any of this heartbreak. In an ideal world, one day there would be a consistent, honest narrative. Something like, “We were very young. We made choices we were not ready for. But we both cared enough to make sure you were provided for.”

The story’s core message sits right there. S__ always carries the possibility of pregnancy, even when someone says they are on the pill. You can choose your actions. You cannot always choose your consequences.

He is not a monster for wanting to go to college. She is not a monster for wanting support. But the baby already exists, and now the adults have to act like adults, whether they feel ready or not.

Check out how the community responded:

These commenters shook you awake to how the law actually works. They insisted child support doesn’t go away just because you sign away rights. One wrote bluntly that “signing away paternal rights” doesn’t absolve you, you’ll still owe.

This side isn’t debating legality. They’re laying out simple truths: sex with a teen = risk. If you wanted no kids, you should have used a condom.

These folks basically say: you might get out of emotional involvement, but legal and financial chains don’t loosen that easily. One commenter offered sympathy, another read your plight and offered hard advice.

This isn’t a story about morals, or even about who’s “right.” It’s a story about ripple effects — how one miscalculated moment of teen impulse can echo years later.

Legally, you may not shake this so easily. Emotionally, cutting ties now may feel like freedom. But for many, that freedom carries a cost that doesn’t disappear at the city line, child support obligations, moral weight, and the knowledge that a life started because of you is still out there.

If you ask me, escaping should come after owning up. Get clarity from a lawyer. Make sure you really understand what “signing away rights” means where you live. If you can’t commit to fatherhood, commit to doing what’s fair.

What do you think? Is there a responsible middle ground between running away and raising a kid you don’t want? Or once the baby’s born, your path is already set?