A Woman Upset After Boyfriend Tells Her to Lose Weight Despite Her Eating Disorder History

She had been looking forward to a lighthearted workout date with her boyfriend, imagining laughter and shared effort. Instead, she was blindsided: “I’d like you to lose some weight.”

For a size S-M woman with a history of anorexia and ongoing body dysmorphia, the comment landed like a punch.

Her boyfriend, fully aware of her past struggles, smirked and brushed off her tears as oversensitivity. In that moment, her trust and safety felt shattered.

She withdrew into oversized clothes, skipped breakfast, and poured her emotions into an online community, seeking validation and finding a chorus of support and warning signals.

Was the Redditor right to feel crushed, or is she overreacting?

The Blow and Its Ripple Effects

She cried, avoided meals, and tried to mask herself from judgment, demonstrating how past trauma magnifies present slights. Meanwhile, his smirk and dismissal implied blame, subtly shifting responsibility onto her for feeling hurt.

Even small gestures of reconciliation, like making breakfast for him afterward, underscored her attempts to regain control in an unstable emotional landscape.

From his perspective, he might have rationalized the remark as honest feedback or motivation. Yet intention cannot erase impact.

Experts warn that comments about weight or body image can be deeply triggering for those with eating disorders or dysmorphic tendencies.

The National Eating Disorders Association notes that 1 in 50 people struggle with body dysmorphia, which can be activated by casual remarks, especially from those meant to be supportive. His smirk suggested either ignorance or a lack of empathy, both red flags in intimate relationships.

Words That Wound: A Broader Lens

This incident reflects a common problem: couples underestimate how harmful careless comments can be. Research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (2023) found that 70% of couples cite hurtful remarks as a major source of conflict, especially around sensitive topics like body image.

In this case, the boyfriend’s refusal to acknowledge the harm, let alone apologize, compounds the emotional toll, making recovery difficult without professional guidance.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, emphasizes that “healthy relationships require repair after conflict, empathy and accountability are key.”

Without these, trust erodes. For her, this could mean setting firmer boundaries or seeking therapy to process the triggered trauma. For him, education on eating disorders and emotional literacy is essential.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some warned against hasty decisions, emphasizing therapy and communication. 

Others stressed that repeated dismissal of trauma signals deeper incompatibility. 

The consensus, however, was clear: no one should be made to feel unsafe in their own body, especially by someone they trust.

When Words Cross the Line

Her boyfriend’s careless comment didn’t just sting, it reopened wounds she had worked hard to manage. Was her emotional response justified, given her history, or should she have brushed it off as “tough love”?

Can this relationship survive an apology paired with professional support, or does his smirk signal an irreparable gap in empathy?

Navigating love and vulnerability is messy, and moments like this test the boundaries of respect and self-preservation. How would you respond if someone you trusted hit your deepest insecurities?