Imagine being a 19-year-old new mom, only to have your baby’s father and his family dictate every move, down to blocking you from breastfeeding or changing her diaper.
That’s the nightmare one Redditor faced when her ex and his mom took over parenting her two-week-old daughter, culminating in a chilling moment when they called the newborn “sexy” during a diaper change.
Panicked, she called the cops, fled to her mom’s, and now faces threats of a custody battle with claims she’s “unstable.” Was her call to the police an overreaction or a desperate act to protect her child?
This saga’s more intense than a courtroom drama. Want the full story? Check out the original post below!
Giving birth at 19 is overwhelming enough, but dealing with a controlling ex and his family who block your every parenting move? That’s a whole new level of stress.
This Redditor’s tale is a gut-wrenching clash of maternal instinct and cultural control.
One Redditor faced this when her baby’s father and his mom dominated her newborn daughter’s care, refusing her breastfeeding and diaper changes, and escalated things by calling the baby “sexy” during a diaper change.
Her decision to call the police sparked a firestorm, with her ex claiming it’s a cultural misunderstanding and labeling her “unstable.” Was her reaction justified, or did she misread the situation? Let’s dive in with empathy and clarity, addressing the cultural and Native American custody angles.
The Redditor’s panic is understandable: her ex and his mom’s behavior, controlling her parenting and making inappropriate comments, screams red flags.
Calling a newborn “sexy,” even if diapered, is alarming in any cultural context, and their excuse of “cultural differences” feels like a deflection, especially given their pattern of alienating her from her child.
Preventing breastfeeding and basic care like diaper changes suggests an intent to undermine her role as a mother, which aligns with parental alienation tactics. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Violence notes that 40% of custody disputes involve attempts to marginalize one parent’s bond with the child.
Her call to the police was a protective instinct, not an overreach, though the legal system may see the comment as “weird but not illegal,” as one Redditor noted.
The Native American custody angle, raised by her ex’s threats and Reddit comments, adds complexity. The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) of 1978 governs custody cases involving Native children, prioritizing tribal involvement and family placement to preserve cultural ties.
If the father is a member of a federally recognized tribe and the child is enrolled or eligible, the tribe could claim jurisdiction, especially if the child resides on a reservation.
However, the Redditor’s account suggests she’s not Native, and it’s unclear if the child is enrolled. The father’s claim of cultural norms around the “sexy” comment lacks credibility, as Reddit users like bawtatron2000 noted no First Nations culture supports such language for infants.
Her ex’s threats about tribal court may be intimidation, but she needs legal advice to clarify ICWA’s applicability. Consulting child protective services or a women’s shelter, as suggested, could provide resources.
Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, a pediatrician specializing in trauma, emphasizes, “Early intervention in potentially abusive environments is critical to protect a child’s safety and parental bond”.
The Redditor’s fear, heightened by her ex’s family’s control and threats, justifies her police call, though the investigation’s outcome may hinge on evidence.
Documenting every incident, dates, times, and exact quotes, will strengthen her custody case. Her move to her mom’s was smart, keeping her and her daughter safe. The breastfeeding denial is particularly concerning, as courts prioritize breastfeeding mothers unless there’s clear evidence of harm.
What’s the fix? The Redditor should lawyer up immediately, ideally with someone experienced in ICWA and family law, to navigate potential tribal jurisdiction and build a case against parental alienation.
She should request a copy of the police report and document all interactions, as Reddit advised. A hospital visit to ensure her daughter’s safety, as suggested, is wise to rule out any harm.
If she wants to breastfeed, she should start now, as it could bolster her legal standing. Supervised visits for the father, away from her mom’s home, can prevent further intimidation.
Was her police call the right move, or should she have confronted them first? How would you handle a family overstepping with your newborn? Share your thoughts below!
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit comments strongly support the poster’s decision to remove their newborn daughter from a situation where the father and his family prevented breastfeeding, controlled parenting tasks, and made an inappropriate comment calling the baby “sexy.” 
They view the family’s actions as controlling, potentially abusive, and indicative of parental alienation, with some suspecting an intent to undermine the poster’s role as a mother.
Suggestions include consulting a lawyer, contacting child protective services, obtaining a police report, and researching tribal laws if the father claims Native status, as this could impact custody disputes.
Commenters urge securing a safe place to stay, ensuring supervised visits only, and having the baby examined at a hospital for safety.
They dismiss the “sexy” comment as unacceptable, rejecting cultural justifications, and emphasize protecting the child from potential harm.
This Redditor’s call to the police was a desperate bid to protect her newborn from a controlling ex and his family, but it’s left her questioning if she overreacted. Was she right to act fast on those disturbing comments, or should she have dug into the cultural claims first?
How would you navigate a custody fight with a family trying to push you out? Drop your fierce takes below and let’s keep the Reddit fire burning!
