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After He Walked Away for Being Childless He Now Wants the New Mom Back on His Terms

by Carolyn Mullet
January 12, 2026
in Social Issues

Life truly has a funny way of throwing us a curveball just when we think the game is over. For one woman, the dream of becoming a mother seemed to disappear after a heartbreaking diagnosis. It was a heavy weight that her marriage simply couldn’t carry. After years of trying, her husband decided that without a child, their relationship had no future. It was a painful end to a long chapter.

She packed her bags and headed across the country to start fresh with her family. Little did she know that life had one more massive surprise waiting in the wings. Just as she was finding her footing, a miracle pregnancy changed everything. Now, her ex-husband wants her back in his zip code. He wants her to move back to the city she just fled. This story is a wild ride of loyalty, timing, and tough choices.

The Story

After He Walked Away for Being Childless He Now Wants the New Mom Back on His Terms
Not the actual photo

AITA for choosing to live in a city which will make it nearly impossible for my ex to see his child?

I (28f) got divorced from my ex husband Jon (38m) of 6 yrs in June this year. In 2019, I was diagnosed with PCOS

and after multiple treatments and many complications, was told that I probably wouldn't be able to have a child naturally.

We'd been trying for a baby for 3 yrs and as expected, this devastated us. Our marriage suffered cause while I eventually made

my peace with the situation, Jon couldn't seem to get past it. I suggested fostering and adoption, but his heart wasn't in it anymore.

After months of hostility, zero intimacy and withdrawn affection, I asked for couples' therapy. He responded that he'd rather have a divorce.

He said he'd been checked out for a while and there was no point dragging things out. I was heartbroken, and it didn't help

that I was stuck living with him throughout the lockdown. I eventually accepted the end of our marriage, and as we went through

the divorce process, I prepared for the move back to my hometown across the country. Shortly before I moved out, we slept together

(I know, I know). It was an impulsive mistake fueled by alcohol and loneliness, and he made sure I knew it meant nothing.

Anyway, I eventually moved back and It's been wonderful. I'd forgotten how much I love being near my family and friends.

I was slowly adjusting to single life when I found out that I am pregnant.. YEP. Ikr- what are the chances!?

I told Jon about the pregnancy, and he was over the moon, but; for some reason, he assumed that I would be moving back

to live with him. When I told him that I have no intention of moving back, but rather raising our child in my

hometown, he lost his s__t and accused me of trying to keep our child from him out of spite.

I told him that he could move if he wanted to be closer to his child, but he insisted that he wouldn't be

able to find work out here, that it made more sense for me to move back because I've only been at my

new job a few weeks, and it wouldn’t be as much of a sacrifice as leaving the job he's had for 11 yrs.

He offered to pay for the move, a new apartment etc but I turned it down and explained that if I stay,

I'll be able to keep working because my family is here to support me, and that my mum and sisters have already been

such a big help with finding a place to stay, preparing for baby, seasoned mom advice, moral and emotional support, and so

I feel more confident having them around. If I moved back, I would essentially have to be a SAHM which I really don't want.

He told his family about the baby without warning me and now I'm being bombarded with criticism from every direction

and being threatened with legal action for alienating them from baby. I don't see why I should be the one to compromise

after having to up and move my whole life the way I did. TLDR; AITA for refusing to move closer to my ex

so that he can be in our baby's life, even though it would be logistically easier for me than for him to relocate?

Friends, my heart is truly fluttering for this woman. Imagine going through the grief of a divorce only to find out you are experiencing the miracle you always wanted. It is so hard to process the emotions involved here. On one hand, every child deserves a father. On the other hand, every mother deserves to feel safe and supported.

It feels a bit like a double-standard, doesn’t it? He chose to leave her because he thought they couldn’t have a family. Now that a baby is arriving, he expects her to drop everything for his convenience. It is quite a lot to ask of someone who was told their worth depended on their fertility.

Transitioning into the psychological side reveals even deeper layers to this family puzzle.

Expert Opinion

When we look at this through the lens of psychology, we see a massive power struggle at play. The concept of maternal support is vital for the health of both the parent and the baby. Research often shows that a strong village reduces the risk of postpartum anxiety. This is especially true for women who have gone through traumatic life events like a high-conflict divorce.

According to reports from Healthline, having family close by provides emotional stability that money simply cannot buy. A father’s presence is important, but a mother’s well-being is the foundation of a healthy infancy. Moving back to a place of isolation could actually be risky for a single parent.

Psychologists at the Gottman Institute often speak about the “Turning Toward” principle. In this case, the husband previously turned away from his wife during a time of crisis. Now, he is demanding that she turn her whole life toward him. It creates a very unbalanced dynamic that often leads to resentment.

One expert quote from Psych Central highlights that “post-divorce boundaries are there for a reason.” A woman has the right to live where she feels most empowered to parent. If a father truly wants to be involved, he has to find ways to cooperate that don’t diminish the mother’s independence.

A survey by Psychology Today notes that many parents underestimate the logistical toll of distance. However, it is a social issue that often reflects gender expectations. The idea that the mother should move to the father’s career location is a dated perspective.

Community Opinions

The online community was quick to circle the wagons around the mom-to-be. Many readers were quite protective of her and her newfound peace.

The community strongly believes the mother should prioritize her emotional safety over her ex-husband’s wishes.
thirdtryisthecharm − NTA. Jon is only interested in you as a brood mare. Get a lawyer and a custody agreement in writing.

And get child support. Do not do anything that would make you dependent on Jon.

[Reddit User] − He tossed you aside when you didn’t get pregnant and now wants you to sacrifice everything to be his new nanny to your own child.

Of course his family is behaving like this, they are the ones that helped creat that monster.

Queen_Aurelia − He abandoned you once, he can do it again. Let his family threaten legal action all they want. The courts won’t make you move.

Legal and strategic experts in the comments urged her to document everything for the upcoming custody battles.
Shaking-Cliches − Screenshot every awful thing his family is saying, and document everything he says as well. Get everything in writing via text and email...

if you move back there while you’re pregnant or after that child is born, he can file to prevent you from relocating with the child in a lot of jurisdictions.

czndra67 − You are already divorced. He made it clear he no longer loved you because you could not give him a child.

Now he wants you to forget all that pain, leave your whole support system, and give him what he's always wanted? And you get. ..what exactly?

Users pointed out the irony of the husband’s refusal to leave his job for his child.
photosbeersandteach − If it’s important for him to be near his child, it’s his turn to move.

JBagginsKK − NTA - You're not doing it to spite him so there's really nothing here to make you the a__hole...

he basically told you you were worthless to him unless you could bear him a child.

Kettlewise − A decade at one company? Seems like he has an established career and enough experience to easily find a job at another company?

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you ever find yourself at the center of a relocation debate, please remember that your peace is worth protecting. You can be a wonderful, cooperative parent without sacrificing your whole support system. Start by having a clear, calm talk about how the father can be involved from a distance.

Keep things strictly professional and focus only on the baby. It is so helpful to have a “communication app” where you can log everything legally. This keeps the chatter from well-meaning but overbearing family members to a minimum. It is okay to set firm rules about how often his family can call or message you.

Conclusion

In the end, this is a story about finding one’s own path after being let down by someone else. The mother chose to plant her roots where they could actually grow. It is a big choice, but it is one that many women have to make to survive.

Do you think she is being unfair by staying across the country? Should a father’s job stability matter more than a mother’s emotional support? We would love to hear how you would handle this complex family dilemma in our comments.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 5/5 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/5 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/5 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/5 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/5 votes | 0%

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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