Boyfriend Refuses To Marry His Girlfriend Of Seven Years Because She Is An Immigrant

Long-term relationships usually feel safe because you assume the years you’ve spent together have built trust, understanding, and a shared vision of the future. But sometimes a single conversation shatters the confidence you thought both people had.

And when immigration, cultural differences, and life-changing decisions are involved, the emotional weight becomes even heavier. That is exactly what one woman discovered when she tried to talk to her boyfriend about marriage after seven years together.

What should have been a hopeful discussion turned into something painful and confusing, leaving her questioning everything she believed about their relationship. Scroll down to see how one honest question changed their entire future.

A woman learns her longtime partner won’t marry her yet because he fears being used for a visa

OP later posted an update:

 

There’s a universal longing we all carry: to be loved for who we truly are, not judged by what circumstances we navigate. In this story, OP entered a long‑term relationship believing she and her boyfriend shared a future built on trust, commitment, and mutual love.

Instead, she finds herself reeling from hearing him say he won’t marry her until she secures permanent resident status, a moment that crashes into the foundations of her identity as a partner and leaves her wondering if it was ever real.

OP has felt loyal, genuine, and future‑oriented. Her boyfriend, however, expresses fear of being used, the phrase “visa mule” stung because it reduced their shared years to a risk assessment.

Psychologically, it’s a clash between OP’s hope for inclusion and belonging, and his fear of betrayal and loss of control. It isn’t just about immigration status: it’s about whether years of love can survive unspoken doubts.

Relationship experts point to the major strain that immigration‑related stress adds to partnerships. For instance, research titled “The mental health effects of visa insecurity for refugees and migrants” shows that “temporary visas play a significant role in psychological distress” among immigrants, influencing how they engage in personal relationships.

Another study found that among international students, “anxiety surrounding students’ ability to stay in the U.S. was the greatest contributor” to trauma symptoms.

Relationship scholar Dr. Galena K. Rhoades notes in her work that when one partner perceives an imbalance in motives or vulnerability, “trust becomes fragile and connection begins to unravel.”

This expert insight helps clarify why OP’s boyfriend’s fears, however misplaced, resonated: immigration status is not just an administrative matter; it introduces chronic vulnerability into a relationship. The boyfriend’s fear of being used triggered his protective instinct before recognition of their emotional history.

Meanwhile, OP’s identity and intentions feel questioned, leading to deep hurt. The result is a two‑fold threat: he fears exploitation, she fears being misunderstood.

In practical terms, this means this relationship crisis isn’t solely about the proposal or the visa; it’s about how each person interprets security, trust, and equality. OP’s sense of betrayal is justified after seven years of shared life, to discover you’re seen as a potential “ticket” is destabilizing. Equally, her boyfriend’s response reflects a deeper anxiety about fairness and motive.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These commenters emphasized how insulting it is that the boyfriend questioned her love after seven years

These Redditors blasted the boyfriend for the “visa mule” accusation and said seven years prove his excuse is pure nonsense

This group stressed that he’s showing deep mistrust and prejudice, making the relationship feel unfixable

These commenters urged OP to move forward with her career and life, saying she deserve someone who supports her

These folks shared empathy and contrasting healthy relationship experiences, showing what genuine support looks like

It’s a heartbreaking situation when someone you’ve been with for so long suddenly accuses you of using them for a green card.

Can a relationship survive when trust is broken so deeply? Some readers think the poster should leave, while others think a bigger conversation is necessary. What do you think? Should she forgive him and work through these insecurities, or is it time to move on? Share your hot takes below!