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Bride Called ‘Insensitive’ for Saying No To Future MIL Request To Display Photos Of Her Miscarriages At Wedding

by Annie Nguyen
July 22, 2025
in Social Issues

A Redditor walked into wedding planning that’d make even a soap opera scream. Picture this: wedding bells, tricky guests, and a request so bizarre it demands popcorn.

Focusing on a small, romantic ceremony of 30–50 loved ones, she was taken aback when her future mother-in-law asked to display framed photos of her miscarried children in pews—and save seats at the reception. Husband-to-be agreed it felt eerie, but pushed a “compromise.” Drama erupted. Want the full scoop? Dive into the original story below!

Bride Called ‘Insensitive’ for Saying No To Future MIL Request To Display Photos Of Her Miscarriages At Wedding

Here’s how one couple tried to draw healthy personal boundaries—until things got very awkward

'Aita For Refusing To Allow A Photo Of My Future Mil's Miscarriages At My Wedding?'

I (26f) am planning my wedding to my fiance (27m) in a few months. Everything is going great and I love him so much. I can't wait to spend my life with him. He loves my family, and I, for the most part, love his.

A bit of background, fiance has a much older brother. While my future MIL was pregnant three times in between them, all of them resulted in late miscarriages and stillbirths. As a result, MIL put all of her motherly love and attention on fiance.

He had never tried a fruit or vegetable before I met him because his parents never made him when he was young and he had grown up assuming they were gross. (I got him to try some and he loves them now.)

As we were planning our guest list, we consulted our families about which, and how many, relatives we should invite. Future MIL asked that we 'invite' fiance's dead brother and sisters.

When we asked what she meant, she wanted us to put up a framed photo of the dead babies in the pews at our wedding ceremony, and then save them seats at our reception. I was horrified. First of all, we are trying to have a fairly small wedding to start with, and a beautiful, intimate venue.

We can only have seats for 30-50 people, and I would like these places to be for our friends and family, not people who have never met either of us because they are dead. Fiance agrees that three of 50 seats reserved for dead people is too many.

He suggested we compromise and just let MIL put up all three photos in one seat. Personally, I think it's gross and weird to include any of them. We're starting our lives together. We want to have a family and it almost seems like a bad omen, but it means a lot to her and it's a fairly small ask. Fiance's parents are paying for 75% of our wedding, and this is the only request she's had. So AITA for still refusing?

Weddings are celebrations of love—and memories of those lost may also find a gentle place. However, context, sensitivity, and tone matter. According to WeddingWire, “Keep it discreet… a photo locket on your bouquet” instead of an overt display. Brides.com echoes this, noting a memorial table should be “visible yet not the main attraction”.

In the Reddit OP’s case, setting aside three seats and photos for miscarried babies in a small, intimate wedding is not discreet—it risks commanding attention away from the couple’s celebration. The Guardian (2015) also cautions to keep memoriam notes short, so the ceremony doesn’t become overshadowed by memorial tones.

Professional planner Sarah Reynolds recommends subtlety—think small table, engraved name tags or candles—allowing memory without imposing grief on attending guests. That aligns with thought leaders like Emily Post and Letitia Baldridge, who emphasize etiquette grounded in kindness, balance, and respect.

Still, honoring miscarried children reminds MIL of grief—and she may feel invisible at the wedding without them. Counselling expert Shelby Forsythia advises grief acknowledgment, but warns of triggering emotional waves if done too overtly.

Advice: A thoughtful middle ground is best. Options could include a small “In Loving Memory” section in the wedding program, or a single seat with a discreet inscription. Invite MIL to speak briefly during a toast instead. That honors the children respectfully—but still keeps focus on the couple’s celebration.

Netizens were quick to weigh in—the majority sided swiftly with the bride, calling the photo request “weird” and “creepy”:

A Reddit user called the photo idea creepy, fully backing the Redditor.

[Reddit User] − NTA: I have no words other than no god damn way. That’s the weirdest and creepiest thing I’ve ever heard.

A Reddit user warned of trauma for guests, urging firm boundaries.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your wedding is about you and your fiancé. It’s not about anyone else or what they want, it’s about the two of you and what you want. I can’t even imagine going to someone’s wedding and there been photographs of dead babies in the pews.

I can’t even imagine how traumatic that could be for some people who have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth. I would be drawing a firm, firm boundary. I don’t even understand your fiancé trying to compromise and potentially choosing to have those photos at your wedding. It’s not the time, nor the place.

If I wanted to tread carefully, I think my response would be, “We don’t know the personal stories of everyone attending our wedding and we have no idea whether or not some of our guests could potentially find photographs of dead babies traumatic. It’s not a risk we’re willing to take.”

But, I probably wouldn’t tread carefully, I would instead just be firm with boundaries. I think it’s important to have a really clear conversation with your fiancé about this.

Attitude_devant saw this as a test for the fiancé, questioning his support.

attitude_devant − OP, this is a test…. of your fiancé. If he doesn’t back you up 100% on this issue, you should seriously reconsider marrying him. Do you really want to marry someone who caters to unreasonable, even crazy, requests from his mother?

PikesPique suggested a program memorial instead, noting MIL’s need for help.

PikesPique − NTA. That would be so disturbing; no one wants to see pictures of a dead baby at a wedding. My husband’s grandmother died shortly before our wedding, so we added an “in memory of” line to our wedding program to acknowledge her. I truly hope your future MIL gets the counseling she needs.

DCNumberNerd proposed a speech to honor MIL’s loss, avoiding photos.

DCNumberNerd − NTA. Tell MIL that the photos may be triggering to people who recently had miscarriages, and you don't want your wedding (repeat, your wedding) to be a source of grief for the guests (and you).

Edit to add - maybe you could give her the opportunity during the reception speeches to say something about how she wishes her lost children could have been there. Not that she needs that time either, since it's a wedding, but if she insists on hijacking a wedding with a memorial service, then something verbal, after the ceremony, seems less intrusive.

Timbrelyn suggested eloping to dodge the disturbing request.

timbrelyn − NTA I’d be eloping. Just the thought of this is so twisted. I feel horrible for you.

Beat_The_Game emphasized the wedding’s joyful focus, calling MIL’s ask disrespectful.

Beat_The_Game − NTA. Your wedding is about you and your fiance, not your MIL's tragic past. I understand that she wants to honor her lost children, but this is not the appropriate time or place. It's disrespectful to you, your fiance, and your guests to have photos of dead babies at a celebration of life and love. It's also very creepy and m**bid, in my opinion.

Your MIL needs to understand that this is not her wedding, and she can't impose her wishes on you. She may be paying for most of it, but that doesn't give her the right to make such a bizarre and insensitive request.

You are not obligated to accommodate her, especially if it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy. You and your fiance need to stand your ground and tell her no. This is your day, and you deserve to have it the way you want it. Don't let her guilt-trip you or manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do. She needs to respect your boundaries and your choices.

RuReddy4thisJelly offered a subtle memorial table with candles as a compromise.

RuReddy4thisJelly − NTA at my wedding i set up a table with some candles that had a sign: **In Memoriam** *These candles are lit in memory of those gone from our lives, but never gone from our heats.

Suddenly-scrooge flagged MIL’s request as part of broader family oddities.

suddenly-scrooge − NTA This may seem like overreacting but I would seriously consider what you're getting into here. Not eating a fruit or vegetable until adulthood is *weird as f**k*. The dead baby thing is *weird as f**k*. When you marry someone you are marrying their family too...some problems here or there are one thing but you are marrying into a freak show.

Of course in some instances people are well rounded and successful despite their crazy family but the fact that your fiance supports this idea, and also has some responsibility for his not eating fruits or veggies, means he has some crazy in him as well.

Party_Werewolf_358 recoiled at reserving seats for deceased babies.

Party_Werewolf_358 − NTA seats for dead babies at a wedding?

When wedding plans collide with grief, it’s not always a fairy tale—but resolution is possible. In this case, the bride refused to allow that seat reservation and photo display, standing firm on what felt right for their celebration. That doesn’t erase the MIL’s grief, but it keeps the wedding focused on the couple.

Do you think she was too harsh? Is there a gentler way to respect lost children at a wedding? Share your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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