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Bride Calls Out Friends After They Offer an $8 Gift and Skip Her Wedding

by Carolyn Mullet
December 8, 2025
in Social Issues

A bride’s long-awaited joy shattered the moment her closest friends shrugged off her wedding plans.

For years, this woman stood by her friend group through every milestone. She flew overseas for their weddings, bought gifts for their babies, spent money she didn’t always have, and showed up for every brunch, party, and celebration. When it finally became her turn to experience a little happiness, she expected the same kindness back.

Instead, she watched the group slowly retreat.

One by one, every woman who once called her “auntie” to their kids backed out of her events. Some claimed they “might be tired,” months before the wedding even arrived. One said she “couldn’t get a babysitter,” despite it being a family-friendly ceremony. And when they announced they would all chip in together for her wedding gift, it was a $40 air fryer split six ways.

She never wanted anything extravagant. She only wanted to feel valued. What happened next challenged everything she believed about friendship.

Now, read the full story:

Bride Calls Out Friends After They Offer an $8 Gift and Skip Her Wedding
Not the actual photo

AITA for implying my friends are being cheap over my wedding?

Throwaway because I know my friends use Reddit.  I (38F) am marrying my fiancée (38m) next year.

I’m the last of my friends to get married and honestly, I’d made my peace with being single and getting a dog before I met my Fiancee.

I am part of a group of six girlfriends who have all known each other since college. We’ve been through everything together, breakups, holidays, weddings, babies, promotions.

When I told them I got engaged they seemed happy and sent me congratulations messages, but when everyone else got engaged they threw them parties or went out for dinner...

I gave them nearly a year’s notice on my bachelorette party, which I’m keeping low key as I don’t want a big thing. We’re going for dinner and drinks at...

However, slowly, all of my friends have been dropping out, saying they can’t get a babysitter or they have to work late or they’re on a work trip.

I’ve obviously invited them all to the wedding as well, which again is a small affair and one has already messaged the group chat saying she’s not sure she can...

My wedding is months away and I’m finding it really hard to believe that she knows that far in advance. Two others have also said they’re not going to stay...

Here’s where I may be the a__hole.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I sent the link to the registry.

My finance and I already have a house together, so we’re asking for mostly small things, nothing goes beyond $50 and were delighted with anything that anyone chooses to buy...

They sent a message into the chat saying they were going to band together to get me an air fryer as a group gift. It costs $40, so I was...

Over the years, I must have spent thousands of dollars on their weddings, two of which were in overseas.

I have attended dinners and brunches to celebrate their job promotions and bought gifts for their babies, all the while feeling terrible about myself watching my friends celebrate the happiness...

I sent a message just asking for clarification if it was all of them buying it together and one replied asking if I was calling them cheap and then there...

That really wasn’t my intention, but it really feels like because I’m last, they’re just over having to do these events and it’s really feeding into my insecurity at getting...

But they do have legitimate reasons for these things, they all have lives and kids and maybe not as much money as when we were a bit younger and maybe...

So, reddit, AITA?.

First off, I wanted to clarify a few questions that were asked. I didn’t care at all what they bought us as a gift, I didn’t care if they got...

I really wasn’t calling them cheap, I was just clarifying if it was coming from all of them. I also didn’t ask if they were getting us a gift, they...

I couldn’t put my finger on why it made me feel a bit weird. I think the word I was searching for was disrespect. Someone said an $8 gift is...

The money issue came up as well.  As far as I know, all of my friends are fairly solvent.

We all work in the finance field, mostly as accountants, three are very senior in their firms and all of their husbands have good jobs.

But we never discuss money, and I know kids and the cost of living is high at the moment, so I’d never want to assume anyone’s financial status, but everyone...

The other issue was a lot of people asked how often we see each other and the answer is quite regularly.

We made a pact years ago to meet up at least once a month no matter how crazy life gets and we’ve mostly been able to stick to that. The...

Apart from that, I live in the same neighbourhood as two of them, so we do dinner occasionally and parties for their kids etc are a must. The last question...

I love kids and my friends kids are surrogate nieces and nephews to me and they are all invited.

The friend who said she couldn’t find childcare said she didn’t want to bring her kids because she said weddings are easier without them. Lastly, some suggested they don’t like...

They’ve never given me that impression, everyone seems to get on well enough, they've known him for two years and he occasionally goes golfing with some of their husbands.

Now onto the update.  Reading the comments was like having cold water thrown over me.

I’ve never considered myself the ‘outsider’ friend, but a lot of people suggested that I was and it really threw me and I got really o__rwhelmed.

I didn’t send any message to the groupchat, even though lots of commenters gave me really good suggestions about what to write, and I withdrew into myself until my fiancé...

I showed him this post and he got super quiet and really, really angry. I’ve never seen him this angry over anything ever. He asked if I had spoken to...

He started to call them individually and read them the riot act. He called them $8 assholes and said he would be sending them an itemised list of the thousands...

He called b__lshit on the one who said she couldn’t get a babysitter and she indeed said she was ‘sick of having to go to the same boring wedding over...

I hate the idea of him fighting my battles for me, so I asked him to stop after the third person.

I sent a message into the group chat asking if we could all speak as a group and the three he called sent voice messages saying that my fiancé was...

I just felt really tired and defeated so I sent a message saying that if they didn’t want to be friends anymore that was fine and to consider their invitations...

No one has replied, so I guess we’re done.  I suppose I’m better off, but I don’t feel that way. I just feel numb and sad.

They’ve been such a big part of my life for so long and I really feel the loss and I’m so sad I won’t see their kids anymore. Some of...

My fiancé has apologised for rushing in and for not asking me how I wanted to handle it, and I’ve accepted. We’re good and I am looking forward to our...

I mostly wanted to say thank you to the kind redditors that showed me the light about this and offered congratulations on our wedding and even offered to buy us...

This story speaks to a kind of loneliness that hides behind years of showing up for others. The moment OP stopped giving and simply hoped for reciprocity, everything fell apart. That type of imbalance can sit quietly for years until life events force it into focus.

What stays with me most is her grief about the children. She wasn’t just losing friends. She was losing the small people who gave her warmth, familiarity, and the feeling of being needed.

Her fiancé’s reaction came from a place of protection, even if his execution was messy. Sometimes anger shows up because someone finally notices how long you’ve been undervalued.

This feeling of isolation is something many people carry without saying a word.

At the center of this story sits a painful question: What happens when a friend group evolves, but one person remains stuck in an old emotional role? Many people assume friendships naturally sustain themselves. In reality, most friendships run on invisible emotional labor, and imbalances can stretch over years without anyone naming the problem.

In OP’s case, she occupied what psychologists sometimes call the “social caretaker role,” where a person consistently supports others, attends their milestones, buys thoughtful gifts, and shows reliability.

Research from the University of Kansas found that emotional closeness requires about 200 cumulative hours of shared, reciprocal interaction. The key word is reciprocal. When only one side invests, the relationship becomes lopsided, even if both parties still meet for brunch and exchange polite conversation.

Her friends had slipped into a dynamic where OP always played the giver. Because she never created emotional boundaries, they began to assume her generosity was simply part of the group structure. People often take stability for granted, not out of malice, but out of habit.

The moment OP needed something back, the imbalance surfaced.

The $8 gift symbolized something deeper. Gifts in adult friendships are rarely about money. They represent acknowledgment. They communicate “I see you.” When a group jointly chooses the lowest-effort option, especially after OP spent years traveling for weddings and supporting their families, it reveals that the friendship no longer functioned as a meaningful bond.

Family therapist Dr. Miriam Kirmayer notes, “Friendships require ongoing maintenance. When you stop tending to them, they shift, often without a clear conversation.”

OP’s friends didn’t set out to hurt her. Their priorities changed as they became parents and grew older. But instead of communicating openly, they allowed the relationship to coast on autopilot. As a result, their version of friendship no longer resembled OP’s.

Another dynamic worth examining is the idea of the “outsider friend.” This happens when a group solidifies around internal pairings or subgroups, and one member becomes peripheral. That friend still gets invited but no longer receives equal emotional investment. OP’s sadness makes sense because she believed she had six best friends, when in reality, she had six acquaintances shaped by years of routine.

A turning point in this story came from her fiancé’s reaction. While emotionally charged, his anger revealed something important: OP deserved better. She lacked external validation for so long that she could not recognize the disrespect until someone else named it plainly.

From a relationship perspective, his support has value, as long as they both agree to communicate more carefully moving forward.

So what could OP do next? A therapist might recommend three steps:

First, allow grief to exist without judgment. Losing long-term friendships feels like divorce. It alters daily routines, identity, and even social confidence.

Second, lean into building relationships with people who show reciprocal warmth. Quantity matters far less than emotional safety.

Third, step back and examine her own patterns. People who consistently give without asking for anything often struggle to recognize when they deserve care. Her willingness to withdraw invitations and accept the end of the friendships shows progress toward healthier boundaries.

The core message of this story sits quietly in the background: when you spend years celebrating others, you deserve people who celebrate you back. Friendships flourish when everyone takes turns being held.

Check out how the community responded:

Several readers believed the friend group had excluded OP for years, and the $8 gift simply exposed what was already there. Many pointed out the quiet coordination required to treat someone this poorly.

Cest_Cheese - The worst part of this is how coordinated all of the friends were. They have talked about OOP behind her back for years.

baronessindecisive - As someone who felt like the leftover friend, this hit me hard. You can break your own heart by assuming you matter more to people than you do.

jakuth7008 - Their response to the fiancé wasn’t “what’s wrong with him?” It was “we won’t be speaking to you anymore.” They waited for an excuse to cut her off.

Readers called out the bizarre logic from the friend who claimed she couldn’t attend because she couldn’t find a babysitter months in advance, despite the wedding being child friendly.

Gwynasyn - She said she doesn’t want to bring her kids because weddings are easier without them. Then she also said she can’t find a babysitter. So she wants to...

Commenters empathized with OP’s heartbreak but encouraged her to build a new community that values her.

Kesbae - I’ve been the leftover friend many times until I built a group that actually cherished me. I hope OP does the same.

Utter_cockwomble - "Eight dollar [jerks]" needs to be a flair. Her fiancé was right to call out their nonsense.

milkdimension - This is just sad. She needed people who loved her, not people who tolerated her.

Kheldarson - I’d go to her wedding in a heartbeat. Weddings are fun. Boo to the person who said hers would be boring.

twopont0 - The “psycho” comment wasn’t about him. It was an excuse to walk away and avoid guilt.

Some stories remind us how easily friendship can drift into habit. OP believed she belonged to a circle of women who would celebrate her the way she celebrated them.

Instead, she learned that longevity alone doesn’t guarantee loyalty. Her friends had shifted into a stage of life where they gave less thought to shared history and more to convenience. She quietly held onto love for them, while they quietly let the connection fade.

It hurts to lose people who shaped so many years of your life. It hurts even more when you realize you loved them far more deeply than they loved you. Yet there is something freeing about clarity. OP can now build friendships based on genuine care, not tradition or obligation. This moment might feel like a rupture, but it can also become a pivot into a more honest, more supported future.

So what do you think? Was OP right to withdraw the invitations? And have you ever discovered that a long-term friend didn’t value you the way you valued them?

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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