A heavily pregnant British student endures meat-only Thanksgiving spreads and accent mockery from US in-laws, her vegan dish offer rejected as “difficult” amid relocation tensions with her boyfriend.
Reddit throbs with this cultural holiday havoc, pitting dietary defiance against family sacrifice. Hormones clash with jabs, commenters divide on palate protection versus tradition trampling in transatlantic turmoil.
A pregnant woman refuses Thanksgiving with mocking boyfriend’s family.
Our pregnant protagonist, a vegetarian Brit navigating American excess, dreads a repeat of last Thanksgiving’s horrors.
Mocked for her accent, starved of suitable food, and labeled “fussy” for daring to request accommodations, she’s now extra vulnerable with a baby on board.
Her boyfriend pushes for attendance as a gesture toward his “huge” family traditions, framing it as her turn to compromise since he’ll relocate to the UK post-graduation.
But opposing views swirl: he sees it as bonding and settling in, she views it as endurance testing amid ignored boundaries. His motivation might stem from deep-rooted holiday nostalgia. Thanksgiving often symbolizes gratitude and unity in US culture, a big ask to skip. Meanwhile, hers is pure self-preservation, amplified by pregnancy’s emotional whirlwind and valid dietary needs.
Flip the script, and critics might argue she’s not “trying” to integrate, especially with a shared future ahead. Yet, evidence tilts toward her: she offered to stay in the US permanently upon learning of the pregnancy, and he’s the one insistent on the move.
The teasing escalation, including snide remarks about “dragging” him away, smacks of unwelcoming vibes, not warm embraces. This highlights broader family dynamics where in-law friction can sour relationships.
Enter expert insight: Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel, in her newsletter exploring holiday traditions and identity, observes, “Belonging is that sense of safety, comfort, and happiness that we feel when we are part of a group, place, tradition, relationship, or friendship. Our identities are intertwined with our experiences of belonging.”
Here, it rings true: the boyfriend’s failure to defend her echoes Perel’s emphasis on belonging as a relational anchor, where unchecked mockery erodes that safety, turning gatherings into exclusion zones.
His silence not only enables the jabs but fractures the very belonging she seeks in their partnership, especially amid pregnancy’s vulnerabilities, leaving her to navigate cultural isolation without a teammate.
This ties directly into Perel’s broader reflections on holidays as ritualized opportunities for connection, where “in our secular and transient modern world, the holidays have become for many the only time in which gathering is ritualized.
So make it a ritual. Come together with intention. Come prepared to participate, to prep, to cook, to clean together.” In the OP’s case, the lack of intentional adaptation, like a simple veggie side or boundary-setting, transforms Thanksgiving from a bridge to a barrier, amplifying the cultural chasm.
Perel highlights how such rituals evolve identities; for our Redditor, skipping the feast isn’t rejection but a bid to preserve her sense of self before the big move.
Neutral advice: Pre-holiday huddles could ritualize respect – boyfriend leads a family chat on inclusive prep, or they co-create a low-key “US-UK fusion” meal at home. Solutions like alternating traditions post-baby or virtual check-ins keep belonging alive without erasure.
See what others had to share with OP:
Some declare NTA and condemn the family for mocking a pregnant vegetarian.
Others criticize the boyfriend for failing to defend OP against family.
Some share experiences of enduring unwelcoming in-law gatherings.
Others question the flood of YTA judgments ignoring key details.
In the end, this Thanksgiving tango leaves us pondering: Was the Redditor’s refusal a fair boundary for her well-being and baby, or a missed chance to butter up the in-laws before the big move?
How would you juggle dietary drama and accent jabs while pregnant and far from home? Do you think her partner’s push for “sacrifice” holds water, or should he step up as her shield?
