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Couple Leaves Family Vacation After MIL Refuses To Give Them A Shared Bed

by Layla Bui
December 28, 2025
in Social Issues

Sometimes it’s the small details that carry the biggest emotional weight, especially when they come from family. What seems minor on the surface can quickly turn into something deeply uncomfortable.

In this AITA post, a Reddit user explains how a family birthday trip took an unexpected turn after an issue with sleeping arrangements sparked tension and revived old concerns. What followed was a difficult decision that ended the vacation early and left relatives firmly divided.

Now, people online are debating whether walking away was an act of self-respect or an overreaction. Scroll down to see what happened next.

A married couple leaves a beach family trip early after a strange sleeping setup causes tension

Couple Leaves Family Vacation After MIL Refuses To Give Them A Shared Bed
not the actual photo

AITA for leaving a family vacation early because my husband and I were expected to sleep in different beds?

For my FIL’s (58M) birthday this year, my MIL (57F) planned a weeklong trip with their four children

(EDIT: my husband is the second-oldest) and their respective partners.

They rented out a nice house near the beach and the cost for the airbnb was split equally between the attending couples.

My husband (31M) and I (29M) drove down there this week and when we arrived in our

(EDIT: pre-assigned) room, we were surprised to find two single beds.

At first, we shrugged it off and figured we could simply push them against each other,

but we quickly found out that the headboards of the beds were drilled to the wall.

(EDIT: The headboards were attached to both the wall and the bed frame.

I assume it’s to prevent renters from moving the beds and possibly damaging the flooring etc.)

I asked my MIL why she had chosen a house that didn’t have enough double beds to hold all of the couples

that were invited and she told me to stop making a fuss because it wasn’t that big of a deal.

I then asked why she hadn’t mentioned it beforehand and she rolled her eyes at me,

saying that I was overdramatic, a "walking stereotype."

and that me not clinging to her son for a little while might be for the best.

Considering she has made some borderline h__ophobic comments in the past (she claims they’re jokes),

I was quite uncomfortable and based on her remarks,

I felt like she had given the room with the single beds to the only gay couple on purpose.

I said that if it wasn’t that big of a deal, surely she and her husband would be happy to switch rooms with us,

but she once again told me that I should quit making a fuss and walked away from the conversation.

Afterwards, my husband tried talking to his mother but he wasn’t anymore successful than I had been and at this point,

I was reaching my breaking point, so I asked my husband if he’d like to spend our vacation at a hotel

(as we had both taken the week off work anyway). He agreed and we booked us a room at a hotel a few towns away.

My MIL has accused us of ruining her husband’s birthday and "dividing the family",

because two of my husband’s siblings support our decision.

My in-laws and the last sibling have been texting me,

calling me an AH for turning my husband against his family and egoistically manipulating the vacation.

Feeling respected and acknowledged in close relationships is fundamental to emotional well-being. When basic expectations of comfort, such as sharing a bed while on vacation, are disregarded, the impact can extend far beyond the immediate inconvenience, leaving a lasting sense of exclusion and discomfort.

In this story, the OP wasn’t simply frustrated about beds. They were navigating a breach of personal boundaries, compounded by past insensitive remarks from their mother‑in‑law and a lack of empathy when they voiced discomfort.

The emotional core isn’t about furniture but about feeling disrespected, singled out, and dismissed by a family that should have been welcoming. This dynamic can trigger deep psychological reactions: when someone feels unsafe or unwelcome in the most private contexts, the instinct to protect one’s dignity and autonomy kicks in.

The OP and their husband choosing a hotel wasn’t petulance, it was a boundary‑setting response to emotional discomfort that had been accumulating. That choice reflects the underlying need for psychological safety and mutual respect in relationships.

While many people might initially see this as a “family drama,” there’s a broader lens worth considering. Different individuals and cultures define closeness and boundaries in varied ways, and what feels comfortable to one couple may feel intrusive or dismissive to another.

In this case, the MIL’s flippant dismissal of the couple’s needs, especially after previous hurtful comments, likely amplified the OP’s sense of exclusion. When people feel cornered or misunderstood, they often withdraw to reassert control over their dignity and emotional space.

From a psychological standpoint, setting boundaries is essential for healthy relationships. According to relationship experts and therapists, establishing and communicating personal limits can help protect emotional well‑being and foster mutual respect.

For example, mental health professionals note that clearly articulating what is and isn’t comfortable, especially in close relationships, is an important part of maintaining mental health and reducing stress, even if it feels challenging in the moment.

Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting others out; it’s about defining the terms of how you want to be treated.

Interpreting that insight in context: what the OP did wasn’t selfish. They identified an emotional boundary that had been crossed and took action to safeguard their comfort.

Healthy boundaries aren’t always easy to enforce, especially when family expectations are involved, but they can lead to greater self‑respect and clearer communication over time.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These Redditors agreed MIL deliberately separated the gay couple due to bias

Rredhead926 − NTA, based on her behavior. From what you've said,

it does sound like she intentionally gave "the gay couple" separate beds. Y

ou didn't ruin the vacation. Her homophobia did.

TinyCost2291 − NTA ​ If it was not a big thing, MIL could have taken the room herself.

She did this on purpose. ​ You handled that AH well.

SevenCarrots − NTA. “(She told me) that me not clinging to her son for a little while might be for the best.”

This woman is hostile towards you and h__ophobic.

A kind, sensitive person would make sure they DIDN'T give the gay couple the room with two single beds,

precisely because they wouldn’t want it to seem intentional.

You felt disrespected because she disrespected you.

You don’t have to confront her about it, but you are entirely right to move.

Anyone claiming that you ruined the vacation is conflict-averse and cowardly.

She committed the offense; you established a boundary.

Establishing a reasonable boundary is not being dramatic or manipulative,

but people without the guts to stand up to abuse will always act

as if the person who does is the problem, not the abuser. To hell with that.

WiptyWap − I missed you and your husband's genders at the beginning and assumed you were a woman and a man.

About halfway through, I'm like, oh, this is definitely a same s__ couple with the way she's reacting.

Went back, and sure enough, I was right. We all know the real reason you didn't get a double bed. NTA

pineboxwaiting − NTA Given your MIL’s comments, your reaction was absolutely justified.

Weirdly, if you were straight and had done the same thing,

I’d say you were being selfish, but this seems pointed on MIL’s part, and that’s not ok.

These commenters supported the OP’s choice to leave or set boundaries

jaccajjaccaj − NTA. If the last sibling thought it was so unimportant,

they could have traded rooms with you. I note that they did not.

VinnyCapistrano − NTA. If you're grown adults with your own money,

then there's no reason you shouldn't be able to be as comfortable as you can on vacation.

Edit: Okay, serious question for everybody because I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here:

Do they make beds where the headboard doesn't attach to the frame of the bed?

Where the headboard is mounted to the wall and the frame of the bed can just move around?

Because multiple redditors seem to think this type of bed exists

and I just can't wrap my head around WHY this type of bed would exist.

throwaway5289392 − Alright, I’m posting this so I won’t have to reply to every person who brought up similar topics:

It’s not that I’m entirely against my husband and I sleeping in different beds for a week.

We’ve done so before when traveling with friends, without any complaint.

What bugs me is the fact that upon arrival, we found out that we had simply been assigned a room with single beds.

It wasn’t “first come, first serve”, it wasn’t a random pick. It was my MIL’s decision.

If I were to rent an airbnb, knowing that only couples were staying there,

I’d give a heads-up in case one couple would have to sleep in different beds

and try to figure out the sleeping arrangements together.

I wouldn’t just decide who had to stay in that room

and I wouldn’t make everyone pay equal parts of the rent if the accommodations weren’t equal.

Leopard-Recent − NTA, and mom ruined the vacation, so if she's salty about you leaving,

she has no one to blame but herself. Hope you didn't pay a dime towards their Airbnb.

These users noted the MIL herself created the problem, not the OP

DinoChickenNugget2 − NTA, the issue here is not the 2 single beds

but MIL disrespect and refusal to acknowledge you and your partner's relationship.

Try asking the MIL if it would be ok to swap room with her room then if she wants to 'unite the family',

or at least ask her to change the room to one with a double bed.

Maybe even ask to swap room with the last sibling then, since they can be the good Samaritan in this case.

[Reddit User] − "My MIL has accused us of ruining her husband’s birthday and ''dividing the family" ​

she literally divided the family with the separate beds. NTA

In the end, the couple didn’t leave over beds, they left feeling dismissed and disrespected. Some readers sided with them, others might’ve stayed to avoid conflict. How would you handle a “small” issue that didn’t feel small at all? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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