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Cousin Rejected The Dress, Then Wanted It Once It Looked Perfect

by Layla Bui
January 12, 2026
in Social Issues

A charity shop wedding dress sparked a family feud no one saw coming. What started as a casual bargain-hunting trip turned into a full-blown conflict after one woman transformed a damaged thrift-store gown into an elaborate cosplay masterpiece.

Months later, the cousin who once mocked the dress suddenly wanted it for her wedding, along with family members insisting it was the “right thing” to hand it over.

The twist? The dress was no longer a dress at all. Curious how creativity, entitlement, and wedding pressure collided? Want the juicy details? Dive into the original story below!

Cosplayer refashions a thrifted wedding dress after cousin later wants it for her wedding

Cousin Rejected The Dress, Then Wanted It Once It Looked Perfect
not the actual photo

'AITA for turning a Wedding Dress into a Cosplay rather than letting my Cousin have it for her wedding?'

I (27F) am an avid cosplayer, my girlfriend (28F) and I go to all conventions

we can and have a lot of fun making our costumes together and prepping for the year.

Three Months ago I, my girlfriend, and my cousin (30F) went around charity shops looking for pieces we could turn into cosplays.

My cousin isn't a cosplayer but she tagged along as she likes a good bargain hunt.

In the third shop we went to we found in the window an old school wedding dress,

it had a few stains and minor rips but all in all was in good condition.

My Girlfriend and I joked with my cousin that she should buy it for her wedding

but she turned her nose up at it stating she wanted brand new and she'd not be caught dead in an old fashioned dress.

We let it go and my Girlfriend was the one to point out to me if we did some alterations,

it'd be a perfect dupe for Sarah's ball gown in Jim Hensons Labyrinth which is our favourite movie.

I realised she was right and asked her if she wanted to make this our next major matching costume.

She agreed for the convention season of 2025 we will be Jareth and Sarah.

I bought the dress and my cousin made a few jokes about it but we heard nothing back from her, not until two days ago.

I've been posting progress of my dress on social media and it's finally done and looks amazing.

My cousin told me she'd not found a dress she likes and I'd done wonders with this dress,

that she'd changed her mind and she'd be happy to meet the price I'd paid (£150) and even throw in an extra £100 for my time fixing it up.

I laughed and asked if she was joking, she told me she was deadly serious and I told her that wasn't happening.

This led to a fight and I was getting annoyed.

My girlfriend took the phone at this point and told her she had her chance to get the dress, and that it's a cosplay now not a wedding dress.

We've since been bombarded by my family trying to get in contact, some pleading,

some trying to cajole and others straight up berating us for not letting my cousin buy the dress or even better

yet being a good cousin and gifting it to her,

and that I shouldn't turn a charity shop wedding dress into a costume as it stopped brides who really needed it having it.

I'm getting stressed and upset with this and my girlfriend is currently fielding any calls we get and telling them off for upsetting me.

She's a wonder and I am so grateful to have her with me for this.

AITA though? I am starting to worry because of the widespread reaction.

This is the first time I've bought a wedding dress to convert like this

but it was already damaged and I've brought it back to life surely it's better than it being ignored like it was?

There’s a quiet emotional whiplash that happens when something you created with care suddenly becomes a family dispute. What begins as excitement and pride can quickly turn into guilt and pressure, especially when others act like your effort was never really yours to begin with.

In this situation, the OP wasn’t guarding a dress out of stubbornness. She was protecting the time, creativity, and shared joy she and her girlfriend invested into bringing something forgotten back to life.

At the core of this conflict is a choice that was already made. The cousin had a clear opportunity to buy the dress and openly rejected it. She didn’t hesitate. She dismissed it as outdated and unsuitable. That decision mattered.

The OP didn’t take something away from someone who wanted it. She saw potential where someone else saw nothing, paid for it, repaired damage, redesigned it, and turned it into a meaningful cosplay tied to a favorite film and a shared passion.

When the cousin later changed her mind, it wasn’t because the dress itself changed. It was because the work had been done. Regret has a way of masquerading as entitlement.

What often gets overlooked in situations like this is how much creative labor is involved. Sewing, altering, repairing, and redesigning a garment isn’t casual effort. It takes skill, time, patience, and emotional investment.

Psychology Today notes that creative work is closely tied to personal identity and emotional fulfillment, not just producing an object. When someone tries to claim the finished result without acknowledging the process, it can feel less like negotiation and more like erasure.

The family pressure adds another familiar layer. Weddings tend to trigger a “just keep the peace” reflex, where the person with boundaries is expected to bend because it’s easier than sitting with disappointment.

But peacekeeping often means shifting discomfort onto the person who already did nothing wrong. That isn’t fairness. It’s avoidance.

There’s also a moral argument being made that doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. Charity shop clothing exists to be reused, repurposed, and reimagined. There’s no ethical rule that a secondhand wedding dress must be preserved for another bride.

In fact, sustainability experts actively encourage upcycling damaged or unwanted garments to extend their life and reduce textile waste. Upcycling is widely recognized as a positive environmental practice.

When you step back, the issue isn’t about cosplay versus weddings. It’s about respecting choices and respecting effort. The OP didn’t change the rules halfway through. She followed through on a plan that existed long before her cousin’s regret appeared. Feeling shaken by family backlash is human.

Standing firm anyway doesn’t make her selfish or cruel. Sometimes it simply means recognizing that your creativity, time, and joy aren’t communal property just because someone else noticed their value too late.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

This group agreed she passed first refusal and lost her chance

SuspiciousZombie788 − NTA. She thought the dress was ugly and didn’t want a thrifted dress for her wedding.

She didn’t see the dress’s potential.

After all your hard work and additional time and money, she realizes she made a mistake

and now she wants a cheaper option for her wedding. Tough. She missed her chance with this dress.

At most, I’d offer to go thrifting to find a new 2nd hand dress she can use. Assuming there is still time.

Super_Reading2048 − NTA how many hours of work did you put into the dress when she made her generous offer?

You offered to let her buy it, and she passed, end of story.

ThrowRA071312 − NTA! Thrift stores are first come, first serve. Your cousin had a chance to buy it.

She turned her nose up and even made fun of it after you’d bought it. She laughed, and lost.

As far as the comments about you’re stopping brides who need it from getting it,

the same could be said for every item purchased from every thrift store in the world.

If you buy a toy, some other kid won’t be able to get it.

If you purchase a used guitar, you may be taking it away from potentially the next Brian May.

However, if nobody bought anything for fear of depriving others, thrift stores wouldn’t exist

and we’d all have tons of extra stuff with nothing to do with it.

Enjoy your costume and conventions. UpdateMe if anything else happens with the Fam.

These commenters blasted family pressure and urged setting the record straight

Apart-Ad-6518 − NTA You bought it & spent time fixing it up. Plus, she made it clear in pretty strong terms she didn't want it.

We've since been bombarded by my family trying to get in contact, some pleading, some trying to cajole

and others straight up berating us for not letting my cousin buy the dress or even better yet being a good cousin and gifting it to her.

They can b__t out. What is it with grown adults running to their families & getting them to bully people.

As well as expecting to benefit from someone else's money/work. Your cousin is an entitled immature A H.

Mental-Currency8894 − NTA - I'd be questioning the story she has told the family too.

Has she told them that she wanted the dress and you bought it out from under her?

firefly232 − NTA There are plenty of wedding dresses in charity shops, this wasn't the last dress on earth.

Tell your family that your cousin was offered first refusal and

she said she didn't want a damaged and secondhand dress. Just get the message out there.

This group stressed labor, time, and costs far exceed her low offer

Proper_Sense_1488 − NTA. an i bet 200 extra doesnt even begin to cover your labour cost

ShineAtom − Well, you certainly are NTA. Because I have never seen Labyrinth, I googled and WOW!

That dress is so complex. Even with a baseline of a made dress there has to be so much work gone into it.

The offer of your cousin to add an additional £100 is ludicrous as in ludicrously low.

You've spent three months, three whole months, imagining it, working on it, altering it, and she thinks a hundred quid is fair?

And family trying to get you to give it her for free? What world do these people live on?

I am very pleased that your girlfriend is supporting you. It is so annoying when people don't understand that no means no.

In addition, I have never understood why someone being rude, shouty, or otherwise berating a person for not doing

what the berator wants would expect a positive result. It seems counter-productive.

Have a great time during the season and I fully understand why you would keep it to use again at a later date.

Ratchet_gurl24 − She didn’t want it until you spent time and money, making it better.

Now the thinks she deserves it more. Oh, that’s not how it works. Those saying you should gift it to her can jog on.

These Redditors backed keeping the dress and refusing entitled demands

CinnamonBlue − “Cousin was very explicit that she wanted a brand new dress and wouldn’t be seen dead in the one I bought.

I’m only holding her to her word and wouldn’t want to traumatise her by having her wear second-hand tat.”

stropette − NTA. Your dress, you put the time and effort into it, you do what you like with it.

Cousin Dearest can get her own, and possibly reflect on the fact that if she hadn't been such a stuck up arsehole,

there might have been a different outcome. Seriously. Don't give in to this child.

Evening-Dizzy − Nta That ballgown is still a very oldfashioned dress.

I mean don't get me wrong, it was also one of the dresses I took to my mom when we were planning my wedding dress

(my mom is a wicked seamstress and made the entire thing from scratch including the corset bodice,

all the underskirts and puffy sleeves and all the tiny details) and a big inspiration to how my dress untimately ended up looking.

But it's a very oldfashioned design with the double puffed long sleeves and giant skirt.

And it's still a secondhand dress.

She probably changed her mind when she realised how expensive this type of dress is

when you have to buy it new and get it tailored to your body. Don't give in.

These commenters celebrated the work and asked for photos

LMWNV − Definitely NTA! She had an opportunity to get it—she had no vision for it

until you created a masterpiece—she can find her own dress and the family can back off. Enjoy wearing it in 2025!

heleneve013 − NTA. Your money, time and effort went into this. You get to say how it gets used. Also, pics please?

Many sided with the cosplayer, seeing her refusal as reasonable boundary-setting, while others clung to outdated ideas of obligation and sacrifice.

Should creativity and effort be discounted simply because “family” asks? Or does respect mean accepting no the first time? Drop your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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