Parenting decisions often come under scrutiny, especially when it comes to financial choices for children.
In this situation, one father is facing backlash after his daughter’s financial success with savings and investments led to a stark difference in how he is financially supporting his two children.
While his daughter’s minimalist approach to life has allowed her to save and plan for her future, his son has spent his money on expensive clothes and a car, leaving him unable to afford the college he desires.
The father has been accused of favoring his daughter over his son, and now his ex-wife is calling him out for that.
Teaching children about money isn’t just about dictating rules, it’s about shaping lifelong habits that affect independence, opportunity, and wellbeing.
In the OP’s story, both children were given choices about how to manage their allowances and investments, with the intention of teaching financial responsibility.
One sibling embraced that opportunity and built meaningful savings, while the other chose to spend more freely, accepting the pleasures and consequences of immediate consumption.
At first glance, this seems like a classic case of “responsible kid vs. carefree spender,” but beneath the surface lies a deeper interplay between parenting strategies, financial literacy, and real‑world outcomes.
A substantial body of research shows that financial literacy is more than technical skills, it’s a life skill.
Scholars define financial literacy as the combination of knowledge, attitudes, and behaviors needed to make effective financial decisions such as budgeting, saving, and investing.
When parents actively engage children in these concepts, the effects can be powerful: research points to links between early financial education and healthier financial behaviors in adulthood.
In the OP’s case, the daughter applied these principles consistently and built resources that now give her real choice in her college path.
Yet it’s also vital to consider how parental financial support can shape relationships and adult outcomes.
A longitudinal examination of parental assistance found that while support often strengthens ties with children and can ease transitions into adulthood, it also varies depending on the child’s circumstances and behaviors.
Another study suggests that parents’ plans to fund college influence whether adolescents attend postsecondary institutions, especially when children are aware of those plans.
This underscores that financial decisions within families aren’t isolated acts, they have psychological, relational, and long‑term developmental impacts.
Against this backdrop, it’s worth noting what financial experts emphasize: preparation matters.
As Ben Bernanke, former Federal Reserve Chairman, put it, “The financial preparedness of our nation’s youth is essential to their well‑being and of vital importance to our economic future.”
That perspective reframes the father’s approach here, not as favoritism, but as an exercise in equipping both children with tools for independence. However, financial literacy isn’t uniform across teenagers.
Evidence shows that many adolescents globally struggle with basic financial concepts without structured education and support.
This context doesn’t negate the real feelings involved, but it helps clarify motives. The father didn’t withhold money out of malice; he sought to instill responsibility and let consequences, good or bad, become real teachers.
Understanding that financial behavior learned early can deeply influence life choices might help shift the focus from blame to honest dialogue about values, plans, and expectations.
For the OP and their family, a path forward could include conversations that acknowledge feelings without invalidating choices.
Discussing budgeting, exploring scholarships or work options, and reinforcing that learning from financial decisions can be empowering rather than punitive might ease tensions.
Framing the son’s experience as a lesson with growth potential rather than a deficit could help everyone move forward constructively.
Ultimately, as the research and expert voices suggest, financial literacy isn’t just about money, it’s about decision‑making, responsibility, and preparing young adults for life’s choices.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
These Redditors argue that expecting children, especially at such a young age, to make financial decisions on their own was an irresponsible choice.
While this group acknowledge that OP did treat both children equally, they feel that the consequences for the son’s lack of financial responsibility are too harsh.
These commenters argue that OP treated the kids equally and there’s no real favoritism, pointing to the daughter’s responsible behavior and the son’s poor choices.
These Redditors point out that the underlying issue may not be just about money but deeper family dynamics.
