Dad Expects Free Childcare From Teen Daughter: Was She Wrong To Fight Back?
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Dad Expects Free Childcare from Teen Daughter: Was She Wrong to Fight Back?

Charles Butler by Charles Butler
July 4, 2025
in Blog
Reading Time: 11 mins read
Dad Expects Free Childcare from Teen Daughter: Was She Wrong to Fight Back?

Imagine walking into your dad’s house, expecting a cozy family catch-up, only to be handed a toddler and a side of guilt instead. That’s the sticky situation an 18-year-old Redditor stumbled into when her dad expected her to babysit her 2-year-old brother on demand,without pay, despite promises.

   
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When she finally put her foot down, sparks flew, and now her dad’s side of the family is blowing up her phone, demanding an apology. Is she wrong for refusing to be an unpaid nanny?

Grab a snack and dive into this family drama below!This tale of sibling care and broken promises has Reddit buzzing like a family group chat gone rogue. The Redditor’s guilt is real, but so is her frustration. Let’s unpack this parenting pickle and see why it’s got everyone talking.

Dad Expects Free Childcare from Teen Daughter: Was She Wrong to Fight Back?

This family drama is spicier than a daytime soap!

Aitah For Refusing To Look After My Baby Brother ?

I 18F have a baby brother 2M that I look after at least two weeks in total every month. My dad 34M usually paid me for watching my baby brother but recently he’s started to refuse.

He also would refuse to pay me and get angry when I would be upset after he forced me to watch my brother after I would come over his house to visit then he would leave my brother and I alone so I would have to watch him. A few days ago I confronted him and voiced my feelings to him . This is how the conversation went.. Me: Walks into his house. My Dad: We’re about to leave.

(Step Mom’s name) laid out his clothes on the bed.. Me: I’m not watching him.. My Dad: What?. Me: I said i’m not watching him.. My Dad: But i’m gonna pay you??. Me: You say that every single time and never do

My Dad: You can never do a thing for me !

I shouldn’t have to pay you to watch your own little brother!. Me: He’s my little brother not my kid. My Dad: So what! Since you feel like that it’s cool, you don’t have to watch him anymore. *Leaves house

I ended up watching my baby brother that night and my dad paid me $80 and I left.

My dad and I haven’t spoke since but I’m starting to feel guilty and his side of the family keep messaging me saying I need to apologize and that im an a-hole. AITAH?. Update:

I know this is pretty late, but here’s an update although most probably aren’t that interested.

Currently my father and I have been no contact for the past 7 months, I however, am still trying to remain a relationship with my ex-stepmother and little brother. But behinds that, I’ve heard that he’s gotten with another women and she’s pregnant.

I’m expecting him to soon reach out to me in the next 2-3 months but we shall see. Regardless, if he does reach out I’ll surely let y’all know.

A Family Feud Packed with Drama

Hold onto your popcorn, this family clash is straight out of a reality TV script! An 18-year-old Redditor just wanted to visit her dad, but he and her stepmom turned it into an ambush babysitting gig, ditching her with her toddler brother. Promising payment and then ghosting on it? That’s a low move.

When she finally called him out, her dad flipped the script with a guilt-tripping “you can never do a thing for me,” leaving her in the hot seat. Now, with her dad giving her the silent treatment and relatives bombarding her with “apologize” texts, she’s caught in a guilt spiral.

But should she be? From her perspective, she’s not dodging diaper duty, she’s fighting for fairness. Barely out of high school, she’s being roped into parenting without so much as a thank-you. The $80 her dad eventually coughed up feels more like hush money than appreciation.

The Bigger Picture: Parentification and Boundaries

This saga dives into a deeper issue: parentification, where kids are saddled with adult responsibilities. A 2023 American Psychological Association study found that 15% of young adults take on excessive caregiving roles for siblings, often leading to stress and resentment.

This Redditor’s stuck in that trap, babysitting two weeks a month while her dad leans on her instead of hiring a sitter or stepping up himself. Psychologist Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, in a 2024 Psychology Today article, hits the nail on the head: “When parents treat older children as co-parents, it erodes boundaries and breeds resentment, leaving the child feeling unvalued.”

That’s exactly what’s happening here, her dad’s demands blur the line between sister and caregiver, leaving her feeling used. The family’s pressure to apologize only twists the knife, painting her as selfish for wanting autonomy.

So, what’s the play? She could set firm boundaries, like agreeing to babysit only with upfront payment and a time limit, or cut back visits to avoid being cornered. If her dad reaches out, a calm talk about mutual respect could help, but she’s smart to hold her ground as a sister, not a nanny. Would you cave to family pressure or stand firm?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Redditor DJ4116 backs the 18-year-old, stressing her brother isn’t her responsibility and suggesting she could skip visits to dodge the babysitting trap.

DJ4116 − NTA As you told him, it’s not your kid to watch. I don’t understand how one can be ‘forced’ to do something, lol. You’re 18, you could easily leave…or not visit at all.

Redditor Happy_Anybody_4944 cleverly suggests turning the tables on the family members criticizing the 18-year-old, urging her to thank them for volunteering to babysit her brother and reminding them he’s family when they inevitably push back.

Happy_Anybody_4944 − You should thank all those who are bad mouthing you for volunteering their time to watch your brother and when they say not my kid you tell them but he's family. NTA.

Redditor HunterDangerous1366 supports the 18-year-old, saying she should’ve left when her stepmom set up the babysitting trap, stressing that visits are for family time, not free labor, and her dad owes her attention as a parent, not just a toddler’s caregiver.

HunterDangerous1366 − NTA I would have left as soon as step mum said his clothes was laid out on their bed. Your there to see your dad and spend time with his family as a whole, not be a on demand free babysitter. ETA: Your not supposed to do things for him, he is for you. He is the parent.

Just because you are 18 and he has a toddler doesn't mean his obligations to you are any different to your brother. Yes, your brother requires more attention etc, but you still deserve time with him that's simply not just for his benefit.

Redditor DrMindbendersMonocle bluntly calls out the boss’s callous behavior, standing firmly behind the 18-year-old for prioritizing compassion and labeling her not the a-hole.

ShannabugBean − My parents did this to me until i went to college with my little brothers. They parentifed me and it was toxic. To the point where when i left for college my brothers felt abandoned, that i left them in that house and never came back.

(No n**lect or abuse was happening at my house but it was not the healthiest environment) But i needed to get out for me! I still have such guilt though, maybe i should have visited more, i dont know. And now at 25 my parents refuse to believe that they leaned on me too heavily. NTA. This is trauma and its valid.

Redditor plm56 firmly supports the 18-year-old’s choice to prioritize helping those in need over routine tasks, stating that her boss’s unprofessional behavior is her own undoing and not the Redditor’s concern.

VariousTry4624 − NTA. Not your kid. You are not your parents 'employee. They are wrong to expect that you babysit at their demand. And your family is wrong to harass you about it. Ignore the lot of them.

Redditor velma-solved-it staunchly defends the 18-year-old, slamming the boss’s unprofessional conduct and arguing that as a manager, she should model proper behavior, not punish kindness, and that any consequences she faces are her own fault.

butterfly-garden − NTA. Please, OP, do NOT apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. And... please don't go back to the house.

In a heartfelt defense of compassion, Redditor RollingKatamari passionately argues that prioritizing humanity and kindness should never be penalized, condemning the boss’s outrageous behavior.

yellowbrownstone − They don’t want to visit with you. They want a babysitter. You went to visit and they LEFT. I just can’t wrap my head around that.

Redditor innocentsubterfuge slams the absurdity of prioritizing amusement park food over critical human concerns like safely assisting an elderly man or finding a lost child, firmly declaring NTA and hoping for the boss’s dismissal.

ErinDavy − NTA. He's 'parentifying' you, making you feel like you're also responsible for taking care of his child. You are not. Not now, not ever will you be responsible for your parents other children. They had the child, they can figure it out on their own.

Redditor Comfortable_Ad_717 staunchly supports your actions, asserting that aiding someone in need and later explaining your constraints to another manager was entirely justified, firmly declaring you NTA.

alicat777777 − NTA. He is not your child, they need to pay you to watch him unless they are doing other things for you and you work out a trade. You handled this appropriately.

Are these Redditors dishing out gold or just stirring the family pot? You decide!

This Redditor’s story is a wild ride through family expectations and unspoken obligations. She’s juggling guilt over her little brother and frustration with her dad’s entitlement, all while his family paints her as the villain.

Was her refusal to be an unpaid babysitter a fair stand, or should she have played nice for family’s sake?

How would you handle a parent who treats you like free childcare? Drop your spicy takes below!

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

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