Dad Funds Daughter’s College Dream Only To Uncover Her Secret Money-Making Hustle

A devoted dad bankrolled his 19-year-old daughter’s college ride – tuition, car insurance, allowance, plus full childcare for her four-year-old – dreaming of smooth sails to graduation. Then a nephew’s weekend drop-in exposed her secret pole-dancing gig at a local club, showering the family chat in glitter and gasps.

Reddit’s torching the trust meltdown like stage lights on high. Users blast her for biting the hand that funds, while others say cut the cord, because she’s grown. Support’s stripped, sparking brutal debates on dollars, deception, and daddy’s breaking point.

Dad uncovers daughter’s pole-dancing secret, threatens cutoff.

Dad uncovered his daughter’s secret career choice, surprised, and from then it just led to even more family fights and disagreements. His post reads like a cautionary tale about money, maturity, and the slippery slope of “helping” a little too much.

Start with the setup: Nila got pregnant at 15, and her parents swooped in like superheroes, by raising grandkid Kimberly while bankrolling college.

Fast-forward four years, and Nila’s blowing the allowance on shopping sprees instead of basics. Enter pole dancing: extra cash for extra bags. Dad’s triple-whammy fury? Disapproval of the job, frustration over squandered support, and zero contributions toward Kimberly. Fair grievances, or overreach?

Flip the script: Nila’s an adult juggling school, motherhood (from afar), and finances. Reddit’s split: some cheer Dad’s right to control his wallet, others warn cutting her off mid-semester could tank her degree and push riskier choices.

Motivation-wise, Dad’s protecting family values and teaching accountability. Nila is craving independence while leaning on the safety net she’s always known. Classic parent-teen tango, just with higher stakes and sequins.

Zoom out, and this mirrors broader family dynamics in young adult support. A 2023 Pew Research report found 59% of U.S. parents provide financial help to adult children, often delaying their own milestones. When does “help” become “enable”? Dad’s case spotlights the tightrope.

Enter the pros: Cara Goodwin, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist and author, notes, “Gentle parenting advocates suggest that the problem with consequences is that we want our children to be internally motivated to behave rather than responding only to externally imposed consequences, such as having an internal motivation to be kind rather than being kind simply to avoid losing iPad time.”

Here, that means fostering internal drive through open talks and budgeting guidance over abrupt cutoffs – preserve the degree, redirect the dancing dollars toward family needs like Kimberly’s care.

Neutral fix? Scale allowance to cover essentials only, require small but steady contributions to her daughter, and mandate full transparency on spending. Family therapy for all wouldn’t hurt, building that intrinsic sense of responsibility.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some declare NTA and affirm OP’s right to control their money.

Others declare YTA for past parenting enabling irresponsibility.

Some predict cutting support will push her deeper into what Dad would consider worse.

Some seek INFO on her school performance and exact support details.

Some insist the real issue is disapproval, not finances.

Others urge counseling and question abandoning her child for college.

Some defend the daughter and urge budgeting help.

Dad built a golden bridge to Nila’s future, only for her to detour into sparkly side gigs and shopping binges. Ultimatum time: fair boundary or family fracture?

Do you think scaling support teaches accountability, or does it risk derailing her degree and Kimberly’s stability? How would you balance tough love with a safety net? Drop your hot takes!