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Dad Names His Black Son Dimitri To Honor A Mentor, Now Friends Call It Cultural Disrespect

by Leona Pham
February 12, 2026
in Social Issues

Choosing a baby name is often one of the most meaningful decisions new parents make. It can reflect family history, personal values, or even gratitude toward someone who made a lasting impact. For one couple, what felt like a heartfelt tribute quickly turned into an unexpected source of tension.

After welcoming their baby boy, the father chose a name that honored a man who had once stepped in and helped raise him during a difficult childhood. While he and his wife loved the choice, their extended family and even some friends were far less supportive.

Accusations about culture and identity soon followed, leaving him wondering if he had made the wrong call. Scroll down to see what sparked the debate.

A father honors his late mentor with his son’s name, sparking family backlash

Dad Names His Black Son Dimitri To Honor A Mentor, Now Friends Call It Cultural Disrespect
not the actual photo

AITA for giving my child a "culturally inappropriate" name?

I am black, and my wife is also black. I spent my most of my childhood in the foster system,

but for a good part of it I was taken care of by an elderly Russian gentleman (we'll call him Dimitri Petrovitch).

While he never formally adopted me, he played a major role in my upbringing,

and I am very grateful for all that he has done for me. Unfortunately, he passed away many years ago,

and he never had any children.

Fast forward to today, my wife and I recently had a son, and to honor the memory of my mentor,

I decided (with my wife's approval) to name my kid Dimitri Petrovitch Williams. Williams is my last name,

and Petrovitch is my son's middle name. However, it seems like it's only my wife and I who like this name,

as her extended family has been quite upset over it, saying things like "What kinda name is Dimitri?",

or "You ain't white, you ain't Russian, why did you give your son such as a white name."

It's true that there's no part of me that's Russian (I can barely speak Russian),

but I feel like he's been such a big part of my upbringing that I had to honor him somehow.

I confided in my friends too, and they said something along the lines of

"You're a black man and you gotta be proud of your own culture.

You gave your son an identity that he's not even a part of; he's gonna have a hard time in school with that name."

So my wife's family isn't happy with our decision, and it seems like my friends don't really have my back either.

I'm keeping the name that's for sure, but should I have reconsidered?

Maybe I could've honored my mentor in another way?

For many parents, choosing a child’s name is one of the first and most intimate acts of love. A name can carry memory, gratitude, and history, sometimes even more powerfully than traditions or heirlooms.

When this father chose to name his son Dimitri Petrovitch Williams, the decision wasn’t aesthetic or impulsive. It was deeply personal, rooted in the memory of the man who helped raise him when stability was scarce.

In his childhood within the foster system, consistency was not guaranteed. Dimitri represented safety, mentorship, and belonging during years that could have easily felt fragmented.

Naming his son after him was not about adopting another culture; it was about honoring the person who gave him guidance and care when he needed it most. But to his wife’s extended family and friends, the name raised different concerns.

They worried that giving a Black child a distinctly Russian name might invite social scrutiny or appear disconnected from cultural heritage. Their discomfort likely stems from a protective instinct: in a society where racial identity already shapes experience, they fear adding another layer of complexity.

What makes this situation compelling is how differently people define cultural pride. Some see pride as preserving visible markers of shared heritage, including names. Others see pride as embracing the full, complicated story of one’s life, including the people who shaped it, regardless of background.

From a psychological standpoint, both reactions make sense. Names influence how others perceive us and how we internalize our own identity.

Research highlighted by Goodnet explains that names play a meaningful role in shaping self-concept because they are central to daily recognition and social interaction.

Similarly, BBC Science Focus Magazine reports that studies show names can shape first impressions within seconds, influencing assumptions long before someone speaks.

Yet research also makes clear that a name does not determine destiny. The meaning attached to it and the confidence modeled by caregivers matters far more.

If this father raises his son with pride in both his Black heritage and the story of Dimitri’s love and mentorship, the name becomes a bridge rather than a contradiction. It tells a story of resilience and chosen family.

Perhaps the deeper lesson here is that identity is layered. A child can honor his roots while also carrying forward the memory of someone who offered kindness across cultural lines. In the end, what shapes him most will not be how others initially react to his name, but the story he is taught to believe about it.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These Reddit users backed OP’s right to name his child and honor his mentor

Kineth − Black guy here. NTA Tell her family to shut the f__k up.

EDIT: Wow, thank you all so much for my 1st through 23d reddit gold!

EDIT2: I'm so surprised and thankful for all the reddit silver and gold I've received.

Don't ever forget to tell someone to shut the f__k up when they need to hear it.

tuppensforRedd − Nta I am glad I’m not the only one- my friend said, “you’re white, your wife is Hispanic,

and you gave your son a black name” it’s actually Omar, so we get a lot of comments about the Arabic name too.

Be proud my friend, you honor a great man and that is all a name has to be.

If your son turn out like him, you would be happy?

Jeanne_Hollow − Def NTA. You honored an honorable man who helped shape and form your life, morals, ethics.

And also: IT’S YOUR CHILD. NAME THEM WHATEVER YOU DEEM APPROPRIATE.

Kanye named his children what again? 🤓😉

hmmcn − Uh 100% NTA. Your family and friends can name their kids what they want.

Also, not that you need any reason at all, but you have a great tribute to an important person in your life.

fgggr − NTA. If people aren’t paying to raise your child, pay them no mind. He’s your kid.

maimee78 − NTA, you didn't give your son a "white" name or a "Russian" name,

you named him after a man who was good to you and who loved you.

I think that's beautiful, and long as you and your wife are happy, that's all that matters!

Make sure your son knows where his name came from and why it's important!

This group shared personal examples to show names aren’t race-locked

Hedgiwithapen − For what it's worth, growing up I knew two boys named Dimitri, and both of them were black.

I know that was likely a placeholder name, but still. The name may not be, broadly speaking, part of black culture,

but it's part of your personal history and culture, and that matters, too. Absolutely nta.

At least according to your in laws.

I'm not black so I don't want to overstep saying what is or is not black culture.

GoodQueenFluffenChop − I'm a Hispanic with an Irish first name and my mom got the same grief,

mostly from my dad's side. "You're not white so why are you giving her that name?!"

And "she's not going to know her Hispanic roots now!" Didn't matter that my middle name is very Hispanic. NTA.

vonhoother − As if Samuel, Meghan, John, and Clarence were inextricably linked with Africa or black culture.

I met a black kid named Demetrius once.

One of the good things about this country is that just as English borrows words from other languages,

we borrow names from other cultures. NTA.

These Redditors agreed overall but warned the patronymic may be incorrect

Badtoasters − NTA, although you may want to rethink the middle name Petrovitch.

In Russian culture, they have something called a Patronymic.

Basically, the middle name is derived from your father's name.

So unless your name is Piotr or Peter, it might confuse some Russian a few years from now.

Edit: u/kabelis is right that the name of the father is likely Piotr and not Petrov.

Also on reflection, calling the Patronymic a middle name is a bit misleading.

Although it's good enough for a very simplistic understanding.

XxOlive − NTA. Dimitri is fine but skip the Petrovich. It’s not an actual middle name

but like a nod to your father in the Russian culture. So Petrovich would mean “son of Peter or Petro”

so this part just wouldn’t make sense in this context since you are his father.

vortex_time − NTA. The only part I find slightly odd (though totally your choice) is giving a patronymic for a middle name.

What started as a tribute turned into a debate about identity and belonging. Some saw cultural overreach; others saw gratitude in its purest form.

Should a child’s name reflect ancestry alone or the people who helped shape a parent’s life? What would you choose: tradition, personal history, or both? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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