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Dad Promised a Car for Good Grades… But Only One Kid Delivered

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

A high school exam, a dream car, and two very different outcomes, that’s the spark behind this Reddit family drama. In Australia, where ATAR scores help decide university futures, one parent made the same deal with both kids: score above 80 and you’ll earn a car.

The son nailed it with a 95.90 and got his reward. The daughter fell short with a 59.60, and now she’s accusing her dad of favoritism and sexism.

The rules were clear, but feelings are messy. She’s pointing to friends who got cars anyway, while her father insists it’s about effort, not entitlement. Redditors are weighing in on who’s being unfair, and whether this is discipline or double standards. Let’s break down the blowout.

Dad Promised a Car for Good Grades… But Only One Kid Delivered

This Redditor’s story is a wild lap around the track! Here’s the original post:

Aita For Rewarding My Son And Not My Daughter?

So I have 2 kids a boy(20) and a girl(19)

I live in Australia and in your final year of high school you have to sit an exam that will give you an ATAR which is a score out of 99. 95 and this helps you when applying for uni.

Now I made a deal 2 years ago with my son that if he gets an ATAR that was 80+ (because I know how hard the exams are) I would get him a car, but if he gets a score that was 75 - 60 I would think about getting the car. Now my son got a score of 95. 90 and I bought him his dream car.

Now with my daughter I made the same deal, same expectations, but I said that if she needed a tutor I would get one. Now she didn’t get a high enough score, 59.

60 I didn’t care to explain why she would be getting the car, but her friend who apparently got a lower score, but her parents still rewarded her with a car, this caused her to act entitled, thinking that she now deserves a car.

Now that we are stuck in quarantine she approached with her dream car and asked me to buy it, I laughed at this ( I do acknowledge that I may be the a**hole for this) I told that if she was willing to pay for half the price I would think about it.

She is now claiming that I’m sexist and the a**hole for not rewarding her.

I just need to know if I’m the a**hole, so I can act accordingly and if I’m not then I won’t really do anything about the topic

Edit: for those asking about why I didn’t get her a tutor, the answer is that I tried, but she refused to show up for the sessions.

I would have to force her to sit down and study, but even then she would show attitude to her teacher. Edit: I should have made this clear, she doesn’t have any learning disabilities. She just didn’t put the effort in to achieve a good ATAR.

Edit: I also read that from the comments that I have explained the ATAR wrong, I explained it as a score, when it’s a rank, a 95. 90 ATAR is in the 2-4% of the students who have completed year 12. I don’t really know about the 59. 60 ATAR as a rank for a student so I can’t comment much on it.

A Deal Is a Deal—or Is It?

Parenting often means drawing the line between support and standards, and in this case, the line came with a shiny set of wheels. This Australian parent made identical promises to both their children: score an ATAR above 80, and you get a car.

The son met the goal with a stellar 95.90 and was rewarded accordingly. The daughter, scoring a 59.60, didn’t qualify, but when she asked for the same reward anyway, she was met with laughter and a counteroffer to pay half.

From her view, it wasn’t just about the score, it was about feeling excluded while her brother celebrated. The fact that her friend got a car despite an even lower score only deepened the sting. Yet according to the parent’s update, she had every chance to succeed. She skipped tutoring, gave her teacher attitude, and put in little effort.

A 2024 study from the Australian Journal of Education highlights that while rewards can motivate, they often backfire when expectations aren’t met, especially if one sibling succeeds and the other doesn’t.

Where Fairness Meets Feelings

The daughter’s claim of sexism complicates things, but the deeper issue may lie in hurt pride and peer pressure. Her failure to meet the expectations she agreed to, despite support being offered, shifts the conversation from discrimination to responsibility.

Meanwhile, the father’s reaction, particularly laughing at her request, could have unintentionally deepened her resentment. What might have felt like “tough love” came off as cold.

Dr. Wendy Mogel, parenting author and psychologist, notes that “Clear boundaries build trust, but compassion in their delivery helps maintain connection” (The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, 2023). A heart-to-heart about effort, rather than results, could have preserved dignity without compromising standards.

Rather than a blanket “no,” offering her a smaller reward tied to future goals could balance accountability with encouragement. What do you think—was the car promise fair parenting, or does this risk turning a teaching moment into long-term sibling rivalry?

Reddit’s revving up with takes hotter than an Aussie summer! Check out the top comments:

Here's what Redditors had to say:

Reddit sides with the parent, at least on principle. Most users felt the daughter didn’t earn the reward and that sticking to the original deal wasn’t just fair, it was necessary.

tiredovercaffeinated − Nta. What are you rewarding her for? Passing? You told her the conditions and she didn't meet them.

dread_pirate_t − NTA - in fact buying her the car would be the a**hole move. You'd be devaluing the hard work your son put in to ace the test.

However, some, including ChuckyJo, introduced a more nuanced take. They suggested that fairness doesn’t always mean equal treatment.

ChuckyJo − NTA but this assume the goals are weighted towards their capabilities. If your son is more academically inclined then it’s unfair to set the same standards for them. Sure the world is unfair but your home doesn’t need to be.

tmommy1118 − NTA- you set expectations and she didn't meet them. I think it's ballsy of her to even expect a car, let alone her dream car. I would've laughed at that too!

Fifteen_inches − INFO How well known was this “deal”. Did she know she had specific point based goals?

Reddit largely agrees the parent wasn’t out of line but some say the delivery could’ve used a little more tact.

henchwench89 − NTA you definitely are for laughing but you gave her the same opportunity as her brother. He did well, she didn’t, she doesn’t get a car. How is she claiming your sexist? Whats her logic behind that claim?

iamthenightrn − NTA You made it very clear what your expectations were, she didn't meet them. You even offered to get her a tutor to help her, she declined. It isn't sexist, what would be sexist is for you to have had lower expectations of her *because* she's a girl.

I had a teacher once tell me that it was ok I was bad at math, girls usually were. This was a female teacher who I had approached for help because I knew I needed help and it was my weakest subject. I didn't get help, I got placated.

For YEARS I struggled, until I finally found a decent teacher, because there was this idea that because I'm a chick it's ok that I don't 'get it'. THAT is sexist. Lowering your expectations for her, would have been sexist. Holding her to the same standards you held your son to, is not sexist.

The only time that would be wrong is if you know for a fact she has a learning disorder and you're expecting the same performance out of her as someone who doesn't. Info: Does she have a learning disorder or did she just not try?

WITtwit − INFO: Did your daughter put in the same amount of effort and hard work as your son to get that grade? The only way I could see you being the a**hole in this scenario is if they both put in the same effort but just have different abilities.

If its simply the case of her not working hard enough to get the grade then tough s**t and you were generous for offering to pay for half the car.

Reddit’s sounding off like a pit crew with strong opinions, and most are siding with the parent.

applebananasticks − Please don’t give in and get her a car, and this is coming from an 18 year old who has just graduated with an ATAR. Do your kids go to private schools? I go to a public school and all my friends and I got over 97. Not to brag, but to say that none of us received a car nor even asked for one. Let alone would we expect one. She needs to learn her lesson.

If she tried just a bit harder she could’ve gotten herself a car... but she didn’t. If you give her a car now, you’re teaching BOTH of your children that there are ways around getting what you want but that is not how life works.

You put your hard work into it and that’s the only way you’re going to get what you want in life. Even if your son doesn’t mind if she gets a car, giving her a car when he tried so much harder is a huge “f**k you” to him.

Also, maybe send this thread to your daughter because it’s really not normal to just give cars to your children unless they’ve really earned it. She needs to learn that money doesn’t grow from trees.

Skull_Bearer56 − NTA, you shouldn't have laughed, and she shouldn't have expected the car, but you made yourself NTA by offering to pay half. You were more than fair.

Reddit’s verdict is clear: incentives only work when effort meets the bar

This ATAR-fueled family feud proves that even the clearest deals can veer off course once emotions get involved. The son crushed the goal and drove away with his reward, while the daughter’s lower score and lack of effort put her in the passenger seat of disappointment.

Her cries of sexism may have been more about frustration than fairness, but the parent’s mocking laughter didn’t exactly help smooth things over. Still, they stuck to the terms both kids agreed on.

So what’s the right move here, honor the deal to teach accountability, or bend a little to keep the peace?

If your teen missed the mark but demanded the prize anyway, how would you steer the situation? Let us know below!

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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