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Dad Refuses To Let Daughter Join Cheerleading, Wife Calls Him A Pervert For His Concerns

by Annie Nguyen
January 6, 2026
in Social Issues

Parents often face situations that make them question just how much control they should have over their children’s choices. Sometimes it’s about safety, sometimes about values, and sometimes it’s about simply wanting what’s best, even if the kids think otherwise.

High school can be a minefield of popularity, pressure, and new experiences, and every decision seems to carry enormous weight.

This redditor is facing a classic clash of priorities with her daughter, who suddenly wants to join cheerleading after years of avoiding anything sporty.

But the reasons behind this change and whether the parents’ concerns are justified have sparked a heated debate in her household. Scroll down to see how this clash of values, popularity, and safety unfolded in ways no one expected.

A dad blocks his daughter from cheerleading after she suddenly changes her mind

Dad Refuses To Let Daughter Join Cheerleading, Wife Calls Him A Pervert For His Concerns
not the actual photo

AITA for refusing to allow my daughter to participate in High School cheerleading?

I have a son who's entering 8th grade and a daughter who's entering 9th grade.

Both of them have always been bookworms. Very studious and cerebral, just like their Dad.

I also played sports all through school and I value the experience that brings.

I've always tried to push them to join sports, but neither one of my kids wanted to.

I tried to insist...maybe they would have fun?

on't we know til we try? Even just to make them exercise and meet new friends. My wife insisted I back off. Fair enough.

Now my daughter is entering High School and wants to become a cheerleader.

She has never wanted to do anything even remotely close to cheerleading at any point in her life.

She actively made fun of cheerleaders 3 months ago.

But one of the popular girls moved in down the street last month and she has become a mainstay around my house.

She's convinced my daughter that she has to become a cheerleader in High School

because she was "a loser in middle school and you don't want that to happen in high school." ​

I said no. I don't appreciate that reasoning.

My wife explained that I don't "know what it's like to be a girl in high school" and I say OK? How's that relevant?

I also don't appreciate cheerleading. It's too dangerous. Girls get severely injured doing that, and for what reason?

We don't have the insurance to cover it. Lastly, I don't like the sexualization of the whole thing.

Those outfits are a bit skimpy, and we're talking about high school girls.

My wife says I'm focusing on the bad and not the good. Most girls don't get injured.

I'm the pervert because I'm making it s__ual. I pushed for her to join a sport.

I let my son play sports. She'll have a much better high school experience. ​

I'm still like...f__k that s__t. My reasoning is sound. She's not in it for the right reasons, and the benefits are lame.

Sometimes, the hardest decisions a parent makes are not about rules but about trusting their child while still keeping them safe.

Many parents know that sinking feeling of watching their child linger on the edge of adolescence. It’s the moment when kids begin to weigh friendship and belonging against the values they’ve been taught and that tension often lands squarely between autonomy and protection.

In this situation, the father wasn’t just saying “no” to cheerleading. He was balancing his concern for his daughter’s well‑being with a homework‑obsessed identity he and his wife have nurtured. He saw cheerleading as risky physically and socially and feared it was driven by peer pressure more than intrinsic interest.

That fear is not unusual; adolescence brings changes in identity and motivation, and teens are especially sensitive to peers and social belonging as they negotiate their growing independence.

Rather than a simple clash over skirts and pom‑poms, this reflects deeper emotional forces: the father’s desire to keep his daughter safe and true to herself, and the daughter’s emerging social identity shaped by new friendships.

From his perspective, this is not about suppressing fun but about shielding his child from superficial judgments and genuine injuries. Meanwhile, his daughter is navigating a developmental phase where peer group belonging increasingly informs choices, a universal part of teenage growth.

Yet, a new perspective shows this issue isn’t purely about safety or peer influence. Adolescents today don’t just seek acceptance; they’re learning to define who they are outside the home. What seems superficial to a parent may be an honest attempt at social connection and self‑expression.

In exploring popularity, teens are not merely chasing status but trying to bridge the gap between their inner world and how others see them. Psychologists note that while peer pressure can be harmful, it also plays a role in social learning and identity formation during adolescence.

From an expert standpoint, research in adolescent psychology highlights the importance of balanced autonomy, a framework in which parents provide guidance while allowing teens to make choices, experience consequences, and build confidence.

As one Psychology Today article explains, parents who strike this balance help teenagers develop self‑trust and a strong identity, particularly when teenage decisions are supported by open dialogue rather than outright restriction.

Interpreting this insight, the father’s protective instincts are understandable, especially when he sees cheerleading as superficial or risky. But outright refusal without deeper conversation can undermine his daughter’s emerging sense of autonomy and self‑efficacy.

Adolescence is a time when kids are not only responding to parents and peers but also learning to advocate for themselves and understand their values in context.

Ultimately, restrictive “no’s” may feel safe in the moment, but they can leave teens feeling unheard or disconnected.

A more reflective approach, one that invites curiosity, sets boundaries together, and honors both safety and self‑direction, can foster trust and empower both parent and child to navigate high school’s social landscape with empathy and resilience.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters argued OP should let his daughter make her own choices

periodicBaCoN − YTA. You've spent years pushing her and now that she is finally going to give a sport a chance

you say her reasoning for wanting to try isn't good enough?

That's an a__hole move Edit: the "cheerleading is not a sport" response is tired and adds nothing to the conversation.

Cool it with that. We disagree on this point, I get it.

Because it isn't legally defined as a sport by courts doesn't mean that it doesn't require athleticism and socialization,

both things OP claimed are reasons he was pushing his children to become involved in sports.

[I just want to add this link that contradicts what some people were telling me and is thereby part of my previous edit.]

29 states HSAAs do recognize cheerleading as a sport and treat it as such.

So depending upon where you live, it isn't necessarily as dangerous as it was

when the 2008 article that was thrown at me twice at least came out.

rawkyoursocks − YTA - so she picked a sport but now it’s not the right kind of sport?!

It sounds like she wants do something that her friend are doing and your denying he that.

Her being a ‘bookworm’, it seems to me you have an idea of who she is in your head

and that cheerleading doesn’t fit with that but you need to let her make her own choices and try things out

so she can find out who she is as a person. Otherwise she’s just going to resent you for stopping her. What is the harm?

You said your son does sports so the injury stuff doesn’t really wash as he can easily too

and I think the s__ual stuff is in some ways a stereotype of what cheerleading is.

GrandeWhiteMocha − YTA. If you were worried about “not being able to afford injuries”

you wouldn’t have pushed your kids into sports.

That is an excuse you came up with after you already decided you didn’t approve of her cheerleading,

because you don’t like the idea of your baby wearing a short skirt and you think her friend’s a mean girl.

Wanting to be popular isn’t a great reason to try an activity. Wanting to please your dad isn’t a great reason either.

But regardless of a kid’s reasoning for joining a sport, they are still keeping physically fit

and getting an opportunity to learn about teamwork and commitment.

CharleyCatPotato − I said no. I dont appreciate that reasoning.

My wife explained that I dont "know what its like to be a girl in high school" and I say OK?

Hows that relevant? How's that relevant? ?? It is LITERALLY this entire situation!

You don't know, but you are making decisions about things you know nothing about. ​ YTA, OP.

InThreeWordsTheySaid − YTA. Your reasoning is not sound whatsoever,

you just don’t like the idea of cheerleading and are gasping at whatever you can. “It’s dangerous.”

Right. What sports did you encourage her to join? Chess? Get over it.

These Redditors emphasized that cheerleading requires athleticism and teamwork, like other sports

BeelzebubsTherapist − YTA. Women and girls are sexualized everywhere.

We can't do jack s__t without someone trying to put some sort of sexy spin on it. It's tiresome.

High school sucks for everyone but being a woman who survived high school,

I'd never want to relive that period of my life ever again.

My dad forbade me from participating in certain activities as a kid

because he didn't agree with how I'd be presented or because he didn't think it was proper of a young Christian girl to do.

I'm 43, an atheist, and I have harbored resentment ever since I was a kid

because of the things he wouldn't let me do because I was a girl.

Oh and I rebelled so bad when I got out of the house and 18 and struck off on my own.

Why? Because of being told "No. No daughter of mine ..." Too much as a kid.

You had your chance to live your life and make stupid decisions. She's asking to be a cheerleader.

There are tons of things she could be doing that are way worse.

beelobeelo − YTA Ex cheerleader here! Cheerleading is a fantastic and difficult sport.

I got scholarship offers and a metric s__t ton of experience from being on the cheer team.

Most injuries come from competitive cheer. Sideline cheer doesn’t stunt very often

and if it does it will be no higher risk than other contact sports.

High school uniforms aren’t that skimpy, school districts usually enforce how much coverage a uniform has.

The skimpiest skirt i’ve seen on high school cheerleaders is still around mid-thigh.

Most cheer teams have safety shorts and turtle necks they wear under the uniform too.

The sexualized uniforms you’re probably thinking of is also competitive. If she’s going into cheer for the wrong reason, who cares?

She’d likely be doing one football season and then realize if she actually likes it or not.

Let her branch out into new groups without your fears.

These users pointed out that teenage girls are sexualized regardless of uniforms

philmcruch − YTA you push her into sports and once she decides to try you say she can't,

The insurance excuse is bullcrap; she would need that for any of the sports you tried to push her into.

Injuries are rare, would you be ok if she started with the swim team? they wear less clothing is that also sexualized?

Would you also say no if your son wanted to join the football team?

[Reddit User] − YTA. However, I suggest you proceed with caution. The risk of injury is indeed very rare,

and the school athletics program will set reasonable requirements for insurance

(if you already have it, then your claim is moot; if you don’t have it, your daughter can’t participate due to insurance requirements).

Yes, the outfits are skimpy, but the vast majority of people who’ll be watching are high schoolers.

Those outfits are being worn in the context of the sport, and news flash: she could be covered head to toe

and her peers will still look at her and get horny. That’s just teenage psychology at work.

The only real concern at hand is the other girl’s influence on “not being a loser.”

Being intelligent and well-read is a winner’s trait. Cheer and studiousness aren’t mutually exclusive.

Allow your daughter to cheer, but make sure her self-esteem isn’t getting warped

and that her academic performance doesn’t falter.

This could be a great opportunity to build social skills as you wish,

while retaining the aspects of her personality that are positive.

This high school cheer showdown isn’t just about skirts or jumps; it’s about control, trust, and the delicate art of letting teens grow. Do you think the father’s caution is justified, or is he overstepping?

Could a compromise protect safety while giving the daughter autonomy, or will a “no” spark long-term rebellion?

Redditors, parents, and former cheerleaders weigh in with strong opinions, showing just how heated discussions about safety, peer influence, and growing up can become. Share your take. Would you let her cheer?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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