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Dad Tells His Thrice-Divorced Daughter He’ll Help With The “Next” Wedding, And She Loses It

by Layla Bui
January 2, 2026
in Social Issues

Some parents believe support should be unconditional, while others feel it should come with limits. Striking the right balance can be difficult, especially when adult children make choices their parents do not agree with.

In this AITA post, a father explains why he finally drew the line after years of helping his daughter financially. His comment about her future plans quickly became the center of a heated family conflict, leaving his wife urging him to smooth things over. Now he is turning to Reddit to ask if his approach was fair or cruel.

Read on to find out what he said, why it caused such a reaction, and how readers judged his decision.

After funding multiple failed weddings, a dad draws a line that sparks family conflict

Dad Tells His Thrice-Divorced Daughter He’ll Help With The “Next” Wedding, And She Loses It
not the actual photo

AITA for telling my daughter I will help her out with her next wedding?

My (M57) daughter (32) has been divorced thrice already. She got married at 25 to the love of her life.

I have her $15,000 as help for the wedding. Marriage lasted 3 years.

She married the love of her life when she was 30. I have her $5,000 for a much smaller, more intimate wedding.

Marriage lasted one year.

She married the guy that got her pregnant while she was married to never two.

They divorced before my grandson was one. She has met the love of her life and need money for the wedding.

I said I would help her with the next one.

Now she is crying to he mother calling me an a__hole for not believing in her future.

I have managed to stay married for 33 years. It's not that difficult.

My wife wants me to make peace by giving her some money. But I think it's a waste. Your call.

Am I the a__hole for my bad attitude towards my daughter's relationship?

#EDIT: I am not trying to change anyone's mind here.

I feel that I insulted people when I said "It's not that difficult," so I feel like I should explain what I meant.

I met my wife when she was married to a guy I worked with. He passed away in an industrial accident.

I saw it happen. After the funeral, we became friends.

Three years later we realized we cared for each other so we started dating.

We have had our ups and downs and we have gone for counseling when we went through a really rough patch.

We work hard at being there for each other. My wife is beautiful and probably had many opportunities to be unfaithful

but chose to stay with me and work on our marriage.I saw all the young guys my age having fun and partying

when I was using my wages to pay for my son's medical bills and such.

I also chose to stay and work on my marriage. I don't remember who said it but it applies in marriage as well.

"In war everything is simple. But even the simplest things are difficult".

At some point in life, many parents discover that loving a child deeply does not guarantee trust in the choices that child continues to make. Hope can slowly give way to fatigue, and support can start to feel indistinguishable from enabling.

That emotional crossroads is where this father finds himself caught between lifelong commitment to his daughter and growing doubt shaped by repeated disappointment.

At its core, this situation isn’t about wedding money. It’s about belief, boundaries, and accumulated emotional strain. The father has invested financially and emotionally in three marriages, each one beginning with optimism and ending in fracture.

His refusal now reflects a sense of emotional self-preservation and realism. To him, marriage is not a romantic leap of faith but a long-term discipline built through sacrifice, accountability, and resilience.

Meanwhile, his daughter hears his refusal as rejection not just of her relationship, but of her ability to build a stable future. Her tears are less about dollars and more about feeling unseen, judged, and abandoned at a vulnerable moment.

What many overlook is how generational and emotional frameworks shape this conflict. The father’s worldview was forged through hardship, medical bills, counseling, delayed gratification, and choosing stability over temptation.

For him, commitment is proven through endurance. His daughter, however, may be navigating relationships through an emotional lens shaped by modern expectations of fulfillment, urgency, and fear of being alone.

From this angle, repeated marriages aren’t necessarily recklessness; they may reflect an ongoing search for emotional security. The father’s boundary is reasonable, but his phrasing “it’s not that difficult” lands as invalidating, unintentionally minimizing emotional complexity and relational wounds.

Psychological research supports this nuance. According to Psychology Today, people often repeat the same relationship patterns not because they lack intelligence or morals, but because familiar emotional dynamics feel neurologically “safe,” even when they’re painful.

These cycles are often rooted in attachment styles and unresolved emotional needs, a phenomenon sometimes called repetition compulsion. Breaking such patterns usually requires insight, time, and sometimes professional support, not willpower alone.

When applied here, this insight reframes both sides. The daughter’s behavior may stem from emotional urgency rather than irresponsibility, while the father’s refusal reflects boundary-setting after years of investment.

His mistake isn’t declining to fund another wedding; it’s equating long-term marriage with simplicity, which risks dismissing emotional struggle as personal failure.

A healthier path forward doesn’t require financial compromise or forced agreement. It requires separating emotional support from financial endorsement. Parents can believe in their children’s worth while still declining to fund choices they don’t trust.

Boundaries, when paired with empathy, don’t destroy relationships; they protect them from deeper resentment and long-term damage.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These Redditors agreed you already paid enough and she should fund her own wedding now

grid101 − NTA - was your comment callous? A bit, but that doesn't make it untrue.

$20k over three weddings is fine. She can pay her own way now.

g3l33m − NTA. Sounds like your daughter thinks you're an ATM, though. Tell her to elope next time. and the time after that, and

vercingetafix − NTA - you’ve already paid for two weddings and she’s now a grown-up with kids of her own.

If she wants to get married again, she can foot the bill this time.

PingpongAndAmnesia − NTA it was maybe a dickish thing to say, but if she wants to get married, let her pay for it.

She doesn't NEED a wedding. It is not crucial to her survival on this planet.

anon466544 − NTA. If you’re on marriage number 4, I think it’s time to stop expecting others to pay for your weddings.

fuzzy_mic − NTA and at age 32 she can pay for her own party. About your attitude towards her relationships,

whether this one is the love of her life or the next-in-line divorce, she can still pay for her own party.

These users joked that wedding funding math predicts divorce, mocking the pattern

Kitchen-Arm-3288 − So... it's time to take out a home mortgage to host a MASSIVE wedding?

Marriage 1: 15,000 = 5k/year \ 3 years

Marriage 2: 5,000 = 5k/year \ 1 year

Marriage 3: 0 = 5k/year \ 0 years

Marriage 4: (Potential) Following that trend: 5k/year \ 30 years = 150,000

So, clearly, you need to host a wedding with an elephant for 150k to give your daughter a lasting marriage!

(Joking, if you couldn't tell) More seriously, you are under no obligation to fund another party for her.

Save the money for your grandkid's education... and/or for their therapy

or just to go on a vacation with the grandkids! NTA

Responsible_Brain852 − I laughed a lot! Can’t she just stop marrying them so that you can all spare money ?

You offer some money if the relationship lasts more than 4 years (3 is the record right now, right ? ),

if she does marry before, she can pay for it herself.

NTA, the etiquette of parents paying for weddings was created before people could decide to marry 3 times in ten years.

Don’t go bankrupt over this. Just let her know what you support her relationship if it makes her happy,

but you've given enough for her weddings this far and your money isn’t unlimited.

[Reddit User] − Your daughter's marriage success seems to be in direct proportion

to the amount you contribute to her weddings, where 1 year = 5K.

If I'm right, for her next marriage to last as long as your own, you need to invest 165,000. NTA. Thank me later.

These commenters implied your daughter loves weddings more than marriage itself

Womzicles − I think your daughter likes the idea of a wedding more than staying married. NTA

5footfilly − I think you should prove you have faith in your thrice-married daughter.

Give her $500.00 towards the next divorce. Tell her it’s to stay ahead of the game. NTA

Most readers sided with the father, seeing his refusal as a long-overdue boundary rather than cruelty. Still, some felt his wording cut deeper than necessary, especially given how emotional weddings can be.

Do you think the dad was right to stop funding the celebrations, or should family support come without conditions? Where would you draw the line when love-of-your-life number four comes with another invoice? Drop your hot takes below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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