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Daughter Uncovers Mom’s Decades-Long Cheating Secret And Wrestles With Telling Clueless Dad The Truth

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 35th birthday DNA test detonates a family secret: the Redditor uncovers a half-brother, revealing Mom—not Dad—as the hidden architect of a decades-old affair. Believing her father was the deceiver, she’s now gutted, cradling a truth that could shred a 40-year marriage, four siblings, and countless Father’s Day illusions.

Reddit’s split down the middle: half scream “tell Dad, he deserves honesty,” while others warn of nuclear fallout that’d torch the family. Loyalty’s a minefield as users debate shielding a devoted dad or sparing a fragile home from total collapse.

A DNA test on her 35th birthday reveals Mom’s secret affair, uncovering a half-brother and shattering family trust.

Daughter Uncovers Mom's Decades-Long Cheating Secret And Wrestles With Telling Clueless Dad The Truth
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH I haven’t told my dad that I’m not his Biological daughter and my mom is a cheater?'

So I (F 35) found out that my Dad(M 63)isn't my biological father. My Parents have been married since 1983.

They were very young and honestly I don't think either one was ready for such a commitment but that is beyond the point.

Back in 2018 my family was given 23 and Me DNA kits for Christmas. I got the results in 2019 but nothing crazy was revealed.

I was matched immediately with my mom but had a big question mark for dad.

I thought it was weird that my dad didn't come up but when I questioned my parents about it my mom (F 57) said

it was because my dad had his profile blocked. I didn't know how any of this worked and it seemed legit.

(Just FYI my mom controls both hers and my dads accounts because my dad isn't tech savvy.)

I dropped it and life went on. Fast forward to this past August, I hadn't logged into my 23 and me account since 2019.

I don't know what got into me but on my 35th birthday I was clearing out my social media email account

and saw a notification from 23 and me saying I had a 2nd cousin wanting to connect.

I logged on and saw 20 new notifications of DNA matches and messages going back to 2021.

I clicked on it and sorted all matches by strength of relation and boom I find out I have a Half Brother.

Apparently he had reached out to me the year prior. Honestly, I first thought he was my dad's b__tard son.

My whole life my mother had put it in my head and in my siblings heads that my dad was a cheater and he may have illegitimate children.

So even though it was a shock it wasn't too out there. My half brother (let's call him John) and I started chatting back and forth.

John disclosed to me that he grew up with his biological father. Confused, I started digging deeper into my DNA matches.

I found lots of family I shared with John but none were familiar to me. My parents were traveling for a month

and then we had a slew of birthdays so I didn't have a chance to talk to my mother in private until recently.

My mother confessed that she had cheated on my dad but that she truly believed that nothing had come from those affairs.

She said that my dad had no idea that she had ever cheated on him. I asked her about my biological father

and her response was that she had met a lot of people through work and that it was nothing serious,

just a friend she used to go to for male attention. I asked if my older sister (F37) was my dad's bio daughter

but she replied that now she is unsure of my sister's paternity and isn’t even sure if we even share the same biological father.

I am completely heart broken and torn. I love my Dad and I know this will break his heart.

My mom asked me what I wanted her to do, if I wanted to go public but she warned me that this news will break many hearts.

I hate that she put that on me. I told her I needed her to think about all this too

and it will be her choice when and how my dad and younger siblings (F 30 and M 29) find out.

I also told her I am going to continue to get to know my half siblings.

My dad deserves to know but I am scared of breaking up my family.

I know I told my mom to decide but I feel like an AH for not telling my dad right away. What should I do? AITAH?

Discovering your parent isn’t biologically yours is like finding out your childhood home was built on a movie set. Everything looks real until the backdrop rips.

In this case, the Redditor’s world wobbled when a 23andMe notification morphed a casual birthday inbox clean-out into a full-blown identity earthquake.

Mom’s confession? She stepped out “for male attention” and accidentally authored two (maybe more) secret chapters.

The kicker: she spent years painting Dad as the potential philanderer, a classic projector move that’d make Freud grab popcorn.

Opposing camps clash like mismatched socks. Mom pleads for silence, warning of shattered hearts, yet she’s the architect of the fracture.

Dad, blissfully unaware, has poured 35 years of bedtime stories, college funds, and proud-dad tears into a daughter who isn’t his by blood but is absolutely his by every metric that matters.

The Redditor’s hesitation is pure empathy; she’s terrified of becoming the messenger who gets shot. Meanwhile, silence risks turning her into an unwitting accomplice in Mom’s decades-long cover-up.

Zoom out, and this saga spotlights a broader epidemic: DNA tests are the uninvited guests crashing family reunions.

A 2021 study in the Journal of Genetic Counseling found that 1 in 7 people who take consumer DNA tests uncover a “non-paternity event”, that’s roughly 14% of takers learning Dad isn’t Dad. The same research notes these revelations spike family therapy referrals by 30% in the following year.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Slepian, in a New Yorker profile on the hidden toll of secrecy, notes: “secrecy is something one can do alone in a room.”

Applied here, Mom’s bid to offload the decision is textbook deflection, shifting blame from her choices to her daughter’s conscience, turning what should be a shared reckoning into a solitary emotional tax.

Slepian’s research, drawn from surveys of thousands, shows people think about their secrets 1-2 times daily on average, leading to fatigue and isolation, precisely the invisible fractures this Redditor now feels in her gut.

Neutral fix? Give Mom a 48-hour ultimatum to confess with professional backup (think therapist, not firing squad). If she balks, the Redditor tells Dad privately, framing it as love, not betrayal: “You’ll always be my father, biology just got the memo late.” Siblings can wait, let Dad steer that ship.

Therapy for all could be the lifeboat, a chance to rebuild trust before the rumination turns into resentment.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some urge telling the father to end the deception.

Big_lt − Tell your father but say to him you're still his daughter and you view him as dad even if it's not blood.

Your mother is a major AH not only for cheating and having 2 kids due to it but also trying to convince you and your siblings your father was unfaithful

Fire17Fighter − “It will be your fault if tell people how s__tty of a person I am and ruin the family.”

PessimisticPotato98 − Tell your dad, your mother is a scumbag for hiding it this long

Some say the mother alone broke the family through lies.

Pretty_Little_Mind − Your mother is manipulating you. If she was so concerned about breaking hearts, she should have thought about that

before she cheated multiple times, and from the sounds of it, with multiple partners.

Maleficent_Draft_564 − Tell. Your. Dad. You won’t break up the family. Do not let her put that on you.

You’ll shake it up a bit, sure but she broke up the family with her cheating.

Don’t let her guilt you into helping her keep her secrets and covering up her lies.

Some stress the father and siblings deserve the truth.

brsox2445 − Your dad deserves to know but I implore you to not disrespect him and ever turn it against him.

The man who has given you everything and been your dad even if he’s not your father. Both you and him are victims.

FatBloke4 − My whole life my mother had put it in my head and in my siblings heads that my dad was a cheater

and he may have illegitimate children. What a hypocrite! I think you should tell your father and your siblings.

Your father has a right to know if any of the children he has raised actually carry his DNA.

Your sibling have a right to know which of their parents was the cheater and also that their partners are not close relatives.

Some warn silence makes OP complicit in the betrayal.

Lostoneinthistown − Yeah tell your dad.

JTD177 − If you say nothing, you will complicit in your mothers lies.

If you father learns that you knew and hid it from him, he will have had two women he loved betray him.

Some suggest an ultimatum for the mother to confess.

[Reddit User] − An option: give your mother the opportunity to come clean and by option I mean ultimatum.

If she chooses to continue the lie, decide if the potential result is going to be acceptable to you. It will be truly devastating.

However, don’t decide to tell him to assuage your own guilt. Also, don’t share with your siblings.

Your father is going to be wrecked and it should be his decision who and when he tells.

Respect him with his very personal issue. Your mom is a manipulative person by saying it’s on your shoulders.

She is not a good person in this situation ( I don’t know anything else about her) but you can’t make up for it.

Definitely do what is best for you. You are the one who has to experience this for the rest of YOUR life.

In the end, the Redditor stands at a crossroads paved with decades of someone else’s deception.

Telling Dad risks a seismic shake-up, staying silent risks her own soul. Do you think handing Mom the confessional mic was fair, or should the daughter rip the Band-Aid herself?

How would you juggle shielding a hero dad while honoring your newfound half-siblings? Drop your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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