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Devoted Husband Keeps Diverting 15% Of Paycheck To Amputee Sister Despite Wife’s Growing Frustration

by Jeffrey Stone
December 23, 2025
in Social Issues

This couple, married two years after dating three, stumbled into conflict over money and family ties. Since turning twenty-one, the husband routed fifteen percent of every paycheck into savings for his sister’s ongoing needs. He disclosed this permanent plan before proposing, and she appeared fully supportive.

He eventually funded a cutting-edge prosthetic plus therapy, changing his sister’s life and filling her with grateful tears. Still, his wife pushed to end the deductions, insisting they were no longer needed.

A young husband defends his lifelong savings for his disabled sister’s prosthetic needs against his wife’s concerns.

Devoted Husband Keeps Diverting 15% Of Paycheck To Amputee Sister Despite Wife's Growing Frustration
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for calling my wife selfish because she wants me to stop putting in money to a savings account for my sibling?'

My wife (26F) and I (27M) have been married for 2 years and together for 5. We are childfree.

Ever since I got my first major job at 21, I have been contributing 15% of my paycheck to a savings account.

I wanted to save up enough money to get a really nice functional prosthetic leg for my sister

who’s an amputee and lost her leg when she was 16. She had been using wheelchairs, crutches, and a cosmetic leg.

When my wife (then girlfriend) and I were serious about marriage, I told her

that I had been contributing 15% of my paycheck to this savings account, and I would always do it the rest of my life.

My girlfriend told me she had no issues with it, and I was really happy about it. I proposed shortly after, and we then got married.

By last year, I had saved up enough money to buy the Ottobock C-Leg 4 Microprocessor knee, and also money for the physical therapy appointments.

Basically, I didn’t want my sister to spend a dime. I let my sister know, and she felt extremely guilty about me spending this much money, but I insisted on...

And to say that was money spent well is an understatement. My sister is now very comfortable walking, biking, dancing, she goes on hikes, and it just makes me very...

She’s thanked me countless times over the past few months, and even cried many times.

It’s the least I could do, I’ve always felt guilty that my sister lost her leg and not me.

My wife however, has an issue that I’m still contributing to the savings account even after buying my sister the prosthetic leg.

I’ve reminded my wife multiple times that I would contribute to this account forever, as long as I’m getting a paycheck.

The parts might need replacement every few years, or even the entire prosthetic knee.

Me contributing to the savings account isn’t affecting the quality of our life.

Last night, my wife again bought up me contributing to this savings account, and that my sister was taking me for granted.

When my wife said that, I lost my cool, and called her extremely selfish and pathetic and then went and slept on the couch to cool myself down.

I’ve never called my wife selfish, and I felt guilty about it this morning.

When I woke my wife up this morning, after seeing me she started crying and apologized for what she said last night.

I too apologized for calling her selfish. Was I the AH for calling my wife selfish?

The husband’s dedication stems from deep brotherly love and lingering guilt over his sister’s accident, driving him to ensure she’s covered for future prosthetic needs like replacements every few years. His transparency from the start shows commitment to both his sister and his marriage.

On the flip side, his wife’s concerns likely bubble up from worries about their shared future: emergency funds, home ownership, or unexpected life curveballs. She might feel the ongoing diversion prioritizes extended family over their partnership, especially if she envisioned those funds freeing up post-purchase.

Both perspectives make sense in their own way. The husband honors a promise that brings immense joy and fulfillment, while the wife safeguards their couple goals.

Motivations often tie back to personal values: his rooted in familial duty and empathy for his sister’s challenges, hers in building a secure “us” bubble. A touch of exaggeration here, it’s like one partner hoarding the remote for their favorite show forever, while the other craves variety!

This saga highlights broader family dynamics in marriages, where supporting relatives financially is common yet tricky. According to Jimenez Law Firm, financial problems contribute to 20-40% of all divorces, underscoring how money clashes can strain even strong bonds.

Financial therapist Megan McCoy, a marriage and family expert, notes: “Money is not only a common cause of conflict, but money fights are qualitatively different from other types of arguments.” This rings true here: the intensity feels amplified because finances touch security, values, and future dreams.

Relevance to this couple? Their blowup mirrors how money disputes often mask deeper fears, like vulnerability to surprises or unbalanced priorities.

The husband’s guilt runs deeper than most realize, fueling a lifelong commitment to shield his sister from future hardships, especially since high-tech prosthetics like hers often wear out and require costly replacements every three to five years.

Meanwhile, the wife’s frustration stems from sensing that this indefinite 15% diversion subtly shifts priorities away from their shared dreams and security. Ongoing support for extended family can quietly breed resentment in marriages, turning generous intentions into points of contention when one partner feels the financial load tilts unevenly.

Neutral solutions could include compromise: perhaps reducing to 5-10% for the sister’s fund while boosting joint savings, or joint budgeting sessions to map shared goals. Open chats about “what if” scenarios might ease tensions.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Some people seek more information about the practical financial impact on OP’s life and marriage.

[Reddit User] − INFO: How does this saving money have practical implications for your life and marriage?

As in, Does this mean you don't have any other savings? Or your wife can't afford savings? Or it'll take more years to buy a house? Etc. What's the trade-off?

Zieglest − INFO: what is your financial situation? Is your wife having to scrape by so that you can give money to your sister?

And what is HER Financial situation? You've got her the leg which is great, but what does she need the money for on an ongoing basis?

Fair_Text1410 − Info: is your wife funding more of your collective bills because you are putting this money aside?

Or you saving 15% of your fun money (money after bills)? Or are you putting 15% first, then the bills?

Are you or your wife funding your vacations? Dates? Bills? Etc. Is she saving less because of this account?

Some people question why OP feels guilty and if he was involved in the sister’s amputation.

E_Dantes_CMC − "It’s the least I could do, I’ve always felt guilty that my sister lost her leg and not me."

Why is that? Was there an auto accident or other incident at which you might have been at fault?

I mean, if it was amputated because of cancer, that isn't anything to do with you. There's a psychological issue here.

Let me put it this way: you should be saving more with your wife than you are giving to your sister, now that she has received her gift.

Sounds like she can get a job and a life of her own. If you make so much money you can put away over 30% of your income (not so...

But giving more to your sister than you save for yourself is some sort of self-mortification that your wife doesn't have to (and doesn't want to) participate in.

Moon_Legs − INFO: Were you somehow involved in whatever circumstance caused your sister to lose her leg

that you feel obligated to donate 15% of your salary for life to this savings account?

Does your sister know that you’re still giving up 15% of your salary for this?

It sounds like she was somewhat uncomfortable with you spending the money on the prosthetic in the first place,

do you think she’d be comfortable knowing you’re doing it forever and at the expense of your marriage?

How wealthy are you and your wife that giving away 15% of every paycheck doesn’t have any effect on your life?

RedneckDebutante − Yes, family is important. I've paid for my sister's 2 divorces and her custody battle, so I get it.

But do you and your wife own a house, cars, take vacations, etc? Are you also saving for a family of your own and a future for you and your...

If you can say yes, you're saving for you and your wife and reaching your couple goals without struggling financially, then NTA.

But if you're only saving for your sister and not for your future as a couple, then YTA.

And why do you feel so guilty about your sister's amputation? It sounds like you feel responsible.

Some people express concern that OP’s wife worries about emergency funds, future kids, and family priorities.

reads_to_much − Do you have an "oh s__t" account for if anything happens in your married life?

Like your wife is sick of hurt or your roof blows off, or is it only your siblings you save for.

Your wife might be worried that if something unforseen happens in your lives together.

There will be no buffer financially. She should be saving into an oh s__t/ rainy day account to...

She also might be thinking of future kids and college funds and stuff like that

and worrying you won't prioritise your kids because of your unfounded guilt for your sister.

There are probably a lot of things she's thinking about that op hasn't, so they really need to talk about future finances.

Trailsya − Depends a bit on the situation. Do you live very comfortably together financially or is it just okay or is it scraping by?

15% is a lot. Why not 3-5%? Then you still have the money for the occassional repairs etc.

Garchompisbestboi − 15% of your pay is wild. It sounds like your wife was under the impression that one day you would finish your obligation to your sister's prosthetic

and was upset to learn that you are withholding that money from your own lives indefinitely.

In the end, this tale reminds us that big-hearted gestures like funding a sibling’s freedom can inspire awe, but clashing over ongoing costs tests marital teamwork. Was the husband’s sharp words a fair vent in the heat of defending his lifelong vow, or did it cross into unfair territory?

How would you balance being a superstar sibling with nurturing your marriage’s financial harmony? Hot takes welcome. What’s your verdict on navigating family loyalty versus couple priorities?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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