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Eldest Daughter’s Years Of Grudge Results In The Ruin Of Past Addicted Sister, Mom Then Evicts Her

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A family’s wedding day joy turned sour when one sister’s cruel words left the bride in tears, sparking a heated online debate. On Reddit’s AITA subreddit, a mother shared her struggle after her 33-year-old daughter’s vicious outburst at her 31-year-old sister’s wedding, rooted in a long-held grudge over past struggles with addiction.

The older sister’s resentment erupted, unraveling family bonds in a dramatic clash that rivaled any soap opera. Faced with this betrayal, the mother made the tough call to evict her eldest daughter, leaving Reddit abuzz with opinions on whether she was right or wrong.

This saga of sibling rivalry and parental tough love highlights a family pushed to its limits, with raw emotions and fractured ties at its core.

Eldest daughter holds grudge for years, eventually lets it all out on the youngest daughter’s wedding day, mom kicks her out.

Eldest Daughter's Years Of Grudge Results In The Ruin Of Past Addicted Sister, Mom Then Evicts Her
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for kicking out my daughter after what she did?'

I have 2 daughters, one is 33 and the other is 31.

31 got married a couple months ago. 31 had a hard time in life, she had surgery and got addicted to opiod at 15.

She struggled through school for a while, ended up doing a crap ton of things she wasn’t proud of,

but once we managed to get her proper help, she was fine again.

In context, the things she did whilst an addict were really bad. I’m talking ruining family reunions, causing arguments around the house, the works.

One example is when 33 was graduating, 31 didn’t want to go, and insisted we both go without her,

but this was when she was at the height of her addiction, so we called her grandparents to watch her,

and they would take 10 minutes to get to the house. She warned us that if she went she might cause a scene, but 33 told her to just shut...

and she should at least be able to sit through one of the most important moments of her life.

Well, she ended up projectile vomiting all over the next 2 rows, then proceeded to break down and wail/cry because of the embarrassment.

I left with her, whilst my husband stayed to support 33. Obviously her sister was furious at her,

and when we got home, she promised 31 that when her graduation came, she’d ruin it for her.

31 had been off drugs for long before her graduation and begged us to not let 33 come.

We obliged and told 33 to stay at home or do something else. She was not welcome at the graduation. The graduation went fine.

There were a ton more incidents in the 2 years where she was an addict, but in the end she got clean, went to a good college, and got a...

She’s well past her addiction now. Now, because 33 never got to ruin her sister’s graduation, she’s been waiting for another big life moment for her to ruin.

If it’s relevant, 33 never got to go to college so that high school graduation was her only graduation.

31 graduated from college, but only me and her father were able to go because of the distance.

Now, the moment that 33 had dedicated herself to ruining is her wedding.

31 is often sensitive at life events, and she has some issues she’s working through with a therapist on the side.

31 thought that 33 would be over the HS graduation issue, and 33 pretended like she was.

In the dressing room right before 31 was meant to walk down the aisle, 33 took her aside, and started insulting everything about her.

I had gone to the bathroom at this time. She called her fat, she said her dress made her look like a pathetic s__t,

that her husband was constantly looking at other women’s asses. She went on and on until 31 was on the ground in tears.

Her makeup was ruined, no one was there to fix it, and the wedding was ruined. 31 walked down the aisle still crying.

After this, I told the family what 33 had done, and no one’s talking to her.

I kicked her out and told her to never come back, because she was a vile human being who can’t let anything go.

She has nowhere else to go now because she can’t afford any other house. AITA?

Weddings are supposed to be fairy tales, but this one turned into a family feud.

The Redditor’s younger daughter, now 31, battled opioid addiction as a teen, leaving a trail of chaos. Think ruined family reunions and a mortifying high school graduation incident where she projectile-vomited across rows of proud parents.

Her older sister, 33, never forgave her, nursing a grudge that festered for 15 years.

When the younger sister’s wedding day arrived, 33 saw her chance for revenge, unleashing a tirade of insults that left the bride sobbing on the floor, makeup ruined, and the day in tatters.

The younger daughter’s addiction, sparked by surgery at 15, wasn’t her fault, but it cast a long shadow. Her recovery: college, a solid job, and therapy shows resilience, yet her sensitivity at big events hints at lingering scars.

The older sister, however, felt sidelined, her own high school graduation overshadowed by her sister’s illness.

Reddit users point out the parents’ focus on the addict may have left 33 feeling neglected, her resentment boiling over into a cruel act.

But holding a grudge for 15 years over a teen’s involuntary actions? That’s a choice, and a harsh one.

Family dynamics like these are tricky. According to a 2019 study by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, addiction impacts entire families, often leaving siblings feeling ignored or resentful.

The older daughter’s pain is valid. She missed out on her moment and perhaps parental support. Yet, her decision to sabotage a wedding, a day far weightier than a high school ceremony, feels disproportionate.

Dr. John Gottman, a pioneering psychologist and relationship researcher, states, “Solvable problems, if not addressed or coped with, can lead to perpetual problems due to resentment kicking in, and thus entrenchment in their positions.”

Here, 33’s actions scream unresolved trauma, but her cruelty undercuts sympathy.

Both sisters need healing. The younger one’s in therapy, which is a start, but the older sister’s refusal of help is a red flag.

The parents, too, may have missed chances to balance support, focusing on the addict while overlooking the other’s needs.

A solution? Family therapy could untangle this mess, fostering empathy over grudges.

Reddit’s split on this, with some calling the parents negligent and others backing the eviction for 33’s toxic stunt. What’s clear is this family needs to talk, really talk.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Some believe the parents failed 33 by prioritizing 31’s addiction, causing 33’s deep resentment.

HonkyTonkCronk − From the picture you've painted here it sounds like you've alienated 33 for the last fifteen years or so

while giving 31 the extra attention and support she needed. And it sounds like you've consistently, all three of you, sided against 33 on every issue.

While I never would have done what she did, I honestly can't say I wouldn't be harbouring serious resentment against all three of you as well if I had been...

You straight up said she wasn't wanted at her sister's graduation - whatever she was feeling over the embarrassment 31 caused her

at what sounds like the only major event she's ever had be about her, you don't think that didn't seriously compound the issue? Damn. YTA.

Good_Comparison7402 − YTA... Not cause you kicked out 33, but cause you kinda failed as a parent.

Don't you realize that 33 wasn't only upset abut graduation? She can't let it go and was holding a grudge for all these years because it's NOT just about graduation.

Having an addict in the family causes stress, discomfort, pain and suffering and you failed to realize the impact it had on 33. That's on you.

DrVerryBerry − ESH. You have enabled and favoured your 31 year old addict child for years.

At the expense of your 33 year child - how you talk about your 33year old child is appalling.

I can feel your distain for her in how your write. Actually I thought this was a troll post originally.

So I can Only imagine how 33year old feels. Of course she is going to be pissed and hurt and resentful.

BUT - it’s still not ok for her to treat her sister or anyone else like she did at the wedding.

But She should have cut you guys outta her life long ago. Also - re her choices about graduation/refusing therapy etc -

those are on YOU as the parent. She was a child/teenager living in a very stressful environment with an addict and no parental support.

Of course she couldn’t make healthy choices. It was your job as a parent to do that for her and enforce appropriate and healthy boundaries.

You and your family have some work to do on yourselves.

Others argue 33’s actions were unjustifiable, emphasizing her responsibility as an adult.

SexyFoodandFilms − I cannot believe the YTA votes on this thread. Firmly NTA. What happens to 31 and 33 is TRAGIC, yes.

To a certain degree I can empathise with 33 always feeling like second fiddle but god,

she is a 33 year old woman who deliberately ruined her sisters wedding for a petty grudge.

Sometimes, trauma is not our fault but healing is always our responsibility. 33 is too old to be acting this way.

esr95tkd − Why in the actual living F*** are people so determined to speak s*** on an sickly and addicted 15 year old.

OP mentioned in the things she did, as a kid or more like an actively sick (with medical opioid addiction) teen.

It's been 15 years since the incident, and sounds like 31 has been trying hard to turn her life around

from one of the most ignored addictions out there, cause opioid addiction is used to victim blaming.

33 didn't do anything else after the incident that was caused by an accident?

It's there that 31 didn't feel well enough to go, and in comments OP explains that 33 pressured to go,

not much in her blame because hormones and teens don't go well with rational thinking, but it's clear 31 didn't do that on purpose,

hell the vomiting might as well have been a withdrawal symptom. I get that she got a moment in her life ruined, and it will always be a bitter memory,

but this sub prides itself in saying that siblings don't need to live for their sick siblings

or parentification is among the worst things that a family can do.

And here we have NO indication of that happening, 31 went on to college on her own taking precautions and things slowly

yet 33 decided to live in the resentment to her sick sister. Unless you tell me that 33 was not allowed college cause "that money was for 31's rehab" f__k...

she decided she didn't wanna do something else. If she had no "other life achievement" it's because she decided NOTHING was a life achievement of her own.

33 has been living for 15 years with only ruining her sister's anything as her only goal.

She IS everything OP called her and I damn agree. Let me break it to you all people,

would any single one of you keep dating a woman whose biggest regret and only goal is to get a revenge on something someone else did (even if intentional or...

That's psycho, needs therapy (which 33 refused) and I'm sure no one would willingly stick there willingly or knowingly.

I'm really surprised at all the Y-T-A and E-S-H. OP is NTA. I'm sad to say both your daughters are sick, but I hope all the best for both of...

Hopefully 33 will accept she needs therapy and I hope 31 doesn't have a fallback after this.

Quadroslives − May be going against the grain here, but NTA. 33 held onto this grudge for FIFTEEN YEARS.

Over something her little sister did when she was sick. Which 33 kind of forced by forcing her to go.

Everyone wants to criticize OP's parenting, but they weren't there for that parenting and seem to me to be jumping to conclusions.

33 has been an adult the entire time of this grudge. Sure OP is being highly critical of 33,

but that's because 33 did a s__tty, s__tty thing, deliberately, on a day way more important than a high school graduation.

Regardless of how good or bad OP was as a parent up to this point, when someone does something this toxic,

this deliberately cruel, and this damaging, what is OP meant to do? Forgive it, and say 'sorry I was a less than perfect parent,

you get to be free of consequence now and I guess I'll alienate 31 instead for being the victim of malevolence'?

Pretend it didn't happen? 33 is an ADULT. Who hurt her family in the worst way she could think of ON PURPOSE.

I'd kick that person out of my house. Hard NTA.

Some emphasize the need for therapy for both daughters to address their issues.

Forsaken-Knowledge12 − YTA Not because of this moment but... So here’s the issue.

You have one child who’s an addict. Whom will ALWAYS be an addict. A proper addict will tell you “once an addict always an addict.”

You can’t shut that off it’s a malfunction in the brain. An addict will always have a more high strung life because that temptation will occur and they will have...

And often times during important life moments it’s entirely vital they stick with a program.

She got married so she should be back in a program. She’s still sensitive which means she’s so emotionally high strung her sobriety is at risk.

Addiction is lifelong there is no sobriety without constant steps to combat this disease.

When she’s finally had proper help and sticks with it little things won’t knock her down!

Please for the love of God just research some addicts programs in her area and encourage her to go to group and get support from people like her.

Whatever she did “not to be proud of” is a chapter in her long story. Things she doesn’t need to be ashamed of.

Second! Your other child went through this addiction but in a different way! You got help for ONE child without considering the other.

Your child sought revenge after all this time! Much like children with glass syndrome!!!

Where they do something so idiotic sometimes even self harm just to get their parent to notice them.

She waited half her life to settle a score because you failed her as parents.

You didn’t have one child in a crisis you had two. Both your girls need help. Addiction cripples EVERYONE involved.

Most don’t understand that addiction can k__l someone who falls off the wagon.

Most the time it happens to those who feel they have to hide it in shame.

The tolerance in their body changes and one relapse could be the end. It’s important that your daughters get help.

While both are adults and you can’t force them it’s important you finally step up as parents and stop coddling one at a time.

You have a double task to each daughter for the rest of their lives. They both need therapy.

Therapy should have never been a choice when she was growing up. It should have been mandatory!

Dont-trust-it − INFO: Did you ever get help for 33 or take her to therapy to help her deal with the feelings her sisters addiction was causing her?

Others view 31’s addiction as an uncontrollable illness, not justifying 33’s actions.

SCKR − NTA. But only if 31 had in all the incidents op mentioned only physical symptoms of drug use.

That's how op described it in the comments. So this is not the "normal" addict with all the stealing, lying and other malevolent behaviour.

This was only a sick person, who had no control over her body functions. Also 33 was 17 when 31 got addicted.

She didn't go to college because she couldn't go to her favorite course.

Course not college. Which normally means something like law or the medical field.

She was most likely already 18 at her graduation. So she has to take responsibility for guilt tripping her sister going the event,

even when she said she was sick. Yeah, parents are also at fault for not putting their foot down.

But the only victims in that story were a sick 16 year old girl and the other graduates and their families.

We don't know how the family dynamic was before the addiction, but I suspect 33 was the Diva who always got what she wanted.

Who wouldn't wait 10 min for the grandparents coming to care for the sick sibling?

They wouldn't even be late to the event! She was the Graduation Version of a bridezilla, and she reaped what the sowed.

Rubber_Ducky_Gal − NTA Painkiller addictions are rough, and going through that at 15 is just,...

I don't have words. How 31 ruined 33's graduation is an unfortunate accident.

I haven't heard of anyone who could make themselves projectile vomit. But what 33 did was deliberate and cruel.

33 has issues. She's held on to this resentment for a long time. She needs help and support as well and you should be there for her,

but she also has to acknowledge just how fucked up her actions were.

This family’s saga is a rollercoaster of hurt and hard choices.

The mother’s decision to kick out her 33-year-old daughter after her wedding-day sabotage was a gut punch, but was it fair?

Did 33’s 15-year grudge justify her cruelty, or should the parents have seen her pain sooner?

How would you navigate this family minefield, support the recovering daughter or reach out to the resentful one? Drop your thoughts!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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