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Family Tension Explodes After Woman Says She’s “Lying In The Bed” Her Parents Voted For

by Annie Nguyen
November 26, 2025
in Social Issues

It’s incredibly hard to stay composed when your job feels like it might disappear any day and the people you turn to for support offer advice that doesn’t quite land where it needs to.

Job insecurity builds a pressure that eats at you, especially when that instability feels tied to political choices your own family supported. Balancing worry, frustration, and the weight of someone else’s vote is already a lot to carry.

That’s exactly what the original poster is trying to manage. She has spent several years working at the IRS, navigating shifting policies and unpredictable national changes. That’s exactly what the original poster is facing. She has spent years at the IRS, watching departments around hers get laid off and the atmosphere grow uncertain.

When she asked her parents for help or reassurance, she hoped for something grounded in the present not outdated advice like dressing up for a remote job or walking door-to-door with printed resumes.

All that frustration led to one sentence she said at the end of the conversation, a line she keeps replaying. Now she’s unsure whether it was a necessary truth or a guilty jab said under stress. Scroll down to see what she told them and why she’s questioning herself.

An IRS worker faces looming layoffs, and one heated comment shakes her family’s calm

Family Tension Explodes After Woman Says She’s “Lying In The Bed” Her Parents Voted For
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for making my parents feel guilty about voting for Trump when I am about to get DOGE’d?'

Also I have worked for the IRS for just over 4 years, and while it has hardly been a dream job,

it has been reliable employment in otherwise turbulent times these past few years.

That of course all started to change with DOGE, the new administration, etc.

Disclaimer: I have not been laid off yet, and nothing is set in stone.

But with tax season having passed they’ve been ramping up the lay offs again, nearby departments have been gutted in the past few weeks, etc.

After I asked some family members for help looking for a new job for when I inevitably do get laid off, my dad texted me saying

that he and my mom had talked and were essentially suggesting I “dress for the job I want”.

Insisting that dressing in a button up shirt and slacks for my (formerly) remote call center job would tip the scales in my favor.

Bless his heart, I do appreciate where he’s coming from and that he’s trying to help, and it’s honestly kind of cute

that he thinks that kind of thing matters in this situation.

For added context, he’s retired from a 40+ year long career and has given similar “walk from one business to the next with a printed resume in hand” type of...

Which is equally hilarious advice in today’s job market.

I explained this to him (in a less sarcastic tone) and I stand by everything said up to this point.

Where I still feel a little guilty is that I ended the conversation with “this is what you all voted for, and now it’s a bed that I have to...

I had already made my point by then and adding that bit only really serves to make him feel guilty.

It’s not like I’m going to retroactively convince him how bad this administration has been for the country,

and reminding him that his decisions are hurting me isn’t going to make him change his ways any time soon.

So it just felt like a pointless way to make my dad feel bad because I’m frustrated at who he voted for.

There are moments when fear pushes people to say things they don’t fully mean, especially when their sense of stability is shaken. Losing a job or even anticipating a layoff creates a deep emotional pressure that distorts conversations with loved ones.

In this story, the OP wasn’t simply reacting to his dad’s advice about dressing professionally. He was struggling with the anxiety of potential unemployment, the frustration of watching departments around him collapse, and the painful realization that political choices made by people he loves may directly affect his future.

At the emotional core of this situation is a generational divide. For the OP, the threat of being laid off feels like a system failure, a force far bigger than his wardrobe, effort, or attitude.

For his father, a man who worked for over four decades, job searching has always meant persistence, personal presentation, and walking into businesses with a printed résumé.

The father’s advice wasn’t harmful; it was simply outdated. But to the OP, who lives in a job market nothing like the one his father knew, it felt painfully disconnected. When he snapped and added, “This is what you voted for,” it wasn’t just political blame; it was emotional overflow.

A different perspective reveals something interesting: while many people may read OP’s comment as harsh, it may actually reflect a craving for acknowledgment.

Younger workers navigate an unstable job market shaped by policies, automation, and mass layoffs. Older adults often see work through the lens of personal effort. These two emotional realities collide easily.

Men, in particular, often express fear through irritation rather than vulnerability, so OP’s comment could be understood as fear disguised as anger.

Psychologist Kendra Cherry explains that displacement, redirecting frustration toward a safer target, is a common psychological response during periods of stress.

When people feel powerless, they often express anger toward someone familiar, not because that person caused the problem but because the real source feels too overwhelming to confront.

Applying this insight makes OP’s guilt understandable. His father wasn’t the cause of the layoffs, but he was the closest safe person for OP’s frustration to land on. The remorse OP feels afterward shows empathy, not wrongdoing. It reflects that he recognizes his reaction came from fear, not the intent to hurt.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These commenters backed OP and stressed that the parents’ vote directly harmed OP

Tremenda-Carucha − NTA, It's pretty rich when your parents act oblivious to the economic fallout of their political choices, especially since you're the one getting screwed.

And yeah, telling someone to "dress for the job they want" is about as helpful as advising a kid to challenge a bully at school with a better tie.

Relevant-Bench5307 − NTA. People in America need to realize that what is political is personal, and what’s personal is political.

P0ETAYT0E − NTA. My friends parents voted for trump and their youngest son lost his job that he just got hired for (<12m at IRS).

They were so proud of him moving out, having his first big career job… only for them to realize he lost it all

and had to move back in because of their choices at the ballot box.”

FunPhysicalViolence − NTA. And the “dress nicely” suggestion was just another way of saying “ahhh f__k off I don’t really want to help you in any way”

It’s a “f__k off” answer. It’s like telling you to “be confident”

Catastic-72 − NTA. He thought his vote would impact "them (i. e. those other people). Instead, it's hurting his kid.

I HOPE he feels guilty and maybe thinks harder before voting next time. Best of luck to you with whatever comes next.

And ask your Dad for rent money if it comes down to it. That's the least he can do.

mattinglys-moustache − NTA, he’s lucky you’re speaking to him at all - gutting the federal workforce was a stated out loud part of their platform,

it wasn’t some secret, so the vote for that knowing your kid works for the government is pretty awful.

AnxiousTelephone2997 − NTA. He should feel guilty. He voted directly against his child’s livelihood. That’s very fucked up of him

Interesting-End1710 − NTA Yeah I have no mercy or pity or patience for those that empowered the destructors of a country

and commiters of human atrocity and have the audacity to pretend like that's not what the platform openly was when they voted for it.

Generations of defunding and corrupting education on perfect display

Normal-Wish-4984 − One of the reasons why the world is not a better place is because people don’t hold others responsible for their actions.

You are a c__ualty of people voting for a man who wants to dismantle government.

It’s not inappropriate for your parents to understand that their vote is correlated with your potential firing.

This group argued that Trump voters deserve guilt and accountability for their choices

ProfitLoud − It’s pointless to make your dad feel bad? Naw, your parents are making a whole lot of people feel both bad, and scared for their lives.

Anyone who voted for Trump deserves to feel shame.

They support an adjudicated rapist, felon, and fraudster who only preaches hate.

They made their choice, and they have to face consequences.

Nothing changes because we just let people off the hook. There’s no real accountability, or social repercussions.

A large number of people don’t follow the law because they believe in it,

they follow the law because they don’t want to be in trouble.

RuskiesInTheWarRoom − Why protect their feelings when their family is suffering from their atrocious voting choices?

They didn’t protect you, why protect them?

quillb − nta, you should always make your parents feel guilty about voting for trump

Sausage_McGriddle − I’d be bringing it up every day, & then throw in a few “nice to see you care more about a criminal than your own offspring.

Thanks for effing me over” comments for good measure.

These commenters noted how some parents refuse to accept the consequences of their political beliefs

OkEye2910 − Nope. They can always go pick crops.

useralterante − I lost research funding last month. I have colleagues who had to stop treating patients because they lost funding.

I have peers who have to drop out after years of work put into projects. I was on a call with my parents and they asked how things were…

they literally didn’t believe me and denied that people stopped getting medicine.

they then proceeded to go on a speech about how doge is great and there’s so much waste.

it’s hard for me not to take this as proof what the work i do means nothing to them

OkEye2910 − Nope. They can always go pick crops.

useralterante − I lost research funding last month. I have colleagues who had to stop treating patients because they lost funding.

I have peers who have to drop out after years of work put into projects. I was on a call with my parents and they asked how things were…

they literally didn’t believe me and denied that people stopped getting medicine.

they then proceeded to go on a speech about how doge is great and there’s so much waste.

it’s hard for me not to take this as proof what the work i do means nothing to them

This Redditor’s story taps into something universal: the moment when politics stops being abstract and becomes painfully personal. While the father may not have intended harm, the son needed acknowledgment of real consequences, not outdated pep talks.

Whether you think the final remark was justified or too sharp, it exposes an uncomfortable truth: family discussions hit harder when livelihoods are involved.

Do you think he crossed a line, or was he simply saying what needed to be said? How would you navigate this kind of emotional minefield? Drop your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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