Family Threatens to Cut Off 18-Year-Old for Refusing to Give Abusive Parents Her College Savings

At just 18 years old, one young woman has already accomplished something huge: she escaped an emotionally abusive home, got a job, found an apartment, and started saving for college. She is a shining example of resilience and determination.

But the family she fought so hard to get away from isn’t ready to let her go. Now that she’s financially independent, her parents are in a tight spot and are using relatives as flying monkeys to demand she hand over her hard-earned college savings to pay their rent.

The pressure campaign is intense, with one aunt even claiming they “deserve” it for the bare minimum act of raising her.

This is an attempt to drag OP back into a cycle of abuse:

The audacity is just staggering. It takes a special kind of entitlement to abuse your child, drive them out of the house, and then turn around and demand their college fund as some sort of twisted parental allowance. The fact that her relatives are joining in, trying to guilt-trip an 18-year-old for prioritizing her future over her abusers’ present, is infuriating.

This young woman doesn’t owe her parents a single cent. The idea that she’s indebted to them for “raising” her is a classic tool of manipulation used by abusive families. Raising a child is a legal and moral obligation, not a transaction that accrues debt. She is not a retirement plan; she is a survivor.

The Financial Ties That Bind (and Suffocate)

What the OP is experiencing is a form of financial abuse, even after leaving home. When family members use money—or the demand for it—to exert control, it’s a way of re-establishing the power dynamic she fought to escape.

Her aunt’s logic that her parents “deserve” her money is a textbook example of what psychologists call “toxic obligation.” As explained in an article on the topic by Psychology Today, this is a common tactic where parents or family members “make you feel responsible for their happiness and well-being.” They essentially frame their adult needs as the child’s responsibility, creating a cycle of guilt and dependency.

The family’s threat to cut her off is not a punishment; it’s a gift. It’s the universe handing her a clean break from a web of people who clearly don’t have her best interests at heart. As for her friend who said she was “taking it too far,” that friend simply doesn’t understand the dynamics of abuse. You don’t negotiate with people who threatened to get rid of your dog; you run.

Here’s what the Reddit community had to say:

The response was a unanimous NTA (Not the A–hole), with users rallying to support the OP’s decision and protect her future.

Many users offered crucial advice on how to protect her finances and lock down her credit immediately.

The irony of the family’s demands was not lost on anyone.

How to Handle a Situation Like This

If you’re a young person who has escaped an abusive home, protecting your financial independence is your number one priority.

First, as the Reddit comments wisely suggested, lock down your finances. This means freezing your credit so no one can open accounts in your name, moving your money to a new bank your parents don’t use, and ensuring there are no joint accounts.

Second, learn to put your family on an “information diet.” They do not need to know how much you earn, how much you have saved, or where your money is. Your finances are your own private business.

Finally, practice saying “no” without guilt. “No, that doesn’t work for me” is a complete sentence. You do not need to justify, argue, defend, or explain your decision to protect your future. Anyone who pushes back against that simple boundary is showing you that they do not respect you.

In The End…

This 18-year-old isn’t just saving for college; she’s saving herself. Every dollar in her account represents a step away from a past filled with abuse and a step toward a future she is building on her own terms. Her family’s attempt to siphon that hope away is the last, desperate gasp of a controlling system that has lost its power. She is absolutely right to stand her ground.

What do you think? Is there any scenario where a child should be financially responsible for the parents who abused them?