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Father Refuses to Give Son His Trust Fund for Wedding – Unless He Signs a Prenup

by Sunny Nguyen
October 16, 2025
in Social Issues

It all started with a dad who just wanted to protect his kids and the future he worked so hard to give them. He had set up trust funds, condos, and a safety net for all four of his children.

But when his oldest son asked to use part of his trust fund early to pay for a big wedding, things took a turn. The dad agreed only if his son signed a prenup.

What was meant as a practical move turned into a painful argument about love, money, and loyalty. Soon, emotions ran high, the son felt betrayed, and the fiancée stayed quiet.

Father Refuses to Give Son His Trust Fund for Wedding - Unless He Signs a Prenup
Not the actual photo

A Dad’s Prenup Push Sparks a Family Feud Over Trust Funds!

AITA for not giving my son part of his trust fund early because he refuses to sign a prenup with his fiancee?

Some background: I have 4 kids. My eldest John (27M), was with my first wife who died when he was 5.

I eventually remarried and got two step-daughters, Lisa (25F) and Ann (18F).

Then my second wife and I had Mike (13M). My wife and I made sure to give them comfortable lives.

When John and Lisa graduated from university, we gifted them condo units.

We will do the same when Ann and Mike graduate. Also, all of them have trust funds that will be released when they turn 30.

I’m quite proud of my kids. John and Lisa graduated from top universities.

John has a high-paying job as an engineer while Lisa pursued a master’s degree in business while she worked in marketing.

Eventually, she started her own marketing consulting firm while being a part-owner of a spa.

John recently got engaged to his girlfriend of 2 years and they want to get married by the end of this year.

She seems nice. However, she doesn’t earn as much as him. My son spends a lot of money on her, on dates and expensive gifts.

I understand that it’s his money and he can spend it however he wants.

She also moved in with him in the condo that I gave him, and as far as I know, she doesn’t pay her share of utilities and association fees.

And now John is asking to get part of his trust fund so he could use it for the wedding since his fiancee doesn’t have much money to contribute for...

Now here’s where I might be the a__hole. I told him I’d release part of his trust fund early if he draws up a prenup with her.

He got angry and told me I was being unfair because I released half of Lisa’s trust fund last year to help put up her business.

He told me that I was playing favorites. I told him that Lisa did something worthwhile with her trust fund,

and while a wedding is worthwhile, I told him it doesn’t seem safe to use his fund for a wedding to a girl “who doesn’t bring much to the table”.

I told him that I just wanted him to have some security by drawing up a prenup.

He got angrier and said I was implying that his fiancee is a gold-digger.. My wife and the rest of the family refuse to take sides. AITA?

EDIT TO UPDATE: The next day after I posted, I had a long conversation with my son.

First, I apologized to him for making that comment about his fiancee. I realized it was demeaning and uncalled for.

Second, I asked about their living arrangement. He did admit to paying for everything including bills and food.

She does the cooking sometimes. He even pays for someone to clean because neither of them wouldn’t.

I asked if she ever offered to pay, he said no. I understand it’s none of my business but the fact that she never offered is raising some flags in...

I gave him some things to think about, and maybe discuss with her,

like what would happen if he loses his job or for some reason (illness/accident), he has to stop working.

I told him that I have nothing against their arrangement and him spoiling her, but he has to be wiser about his spending habits.

Third, I explained the importance of a prenup and said that I had one with his mom and his stepmom.

He still refuses to because according to him “it might offend her”. Again raising some flags.

So I will stick to my decision and release his trust fund when he’s 30, as we initially agreed on. He wasn’t happy with this.

Lastly, I asked what kind of wedding they plan to have that they felt the need to use his trust fund.

Apparently, she dreams of having a big wedding on the beach.

She also wants to have a photo and video production to announce their engagement (which I find ridiculous).

They want it this year but can’t afford it, as she is only paying for her wedding dress,

and my son admitted that he doesn’t have a lot of savings (probably from going on expensive dates and trips).

I told him that it’s not practical, but if they really want it, they should wait and save up for it.

At that point, I was feeling better about my decision to not release his trust fund early.

The way I see it, my son could go broke in a few years paying for everything and spoiling his fiance/wife.

Their trust fund is the last thing all my kids will get from me.

That being said, I may be an a__hole but not a total a__hole to not support his wedding.

My wife and I agreed to give them a certain amount that should cover a nice venue, and still have some leftover amount left for other expenses.

It will be our wedding gift to them. And if he’s still not happy, then there’s nothing more I can do.

If they go NC or low contact, I’d still feel at peace with my decision. I provided for him and I tried to protect him.

If she leaves him and he ends up losing everything, I’d hate for that to happen but that’s on him. But I do hope their marriage works out.

Expert Opinion and Breakdown

This dad’s decision makes sense when you look at the full picture. He wanted to protect his son, John, who was about to marry a woman that didn’t contribute much financially.

The dad had promised each of his four kids a trust fund they could access at 30. But John wanted his early, to fund a fancy beach wedding and start married life with a bang.

His fiancée, who lived rent-free in one of the family’s condos, didn’t seem to share his father’s financial mindset.

When the dad refused to release the money without a prenup, John got angry. He accused his dad of favoritism because his stepsister had gotten early access to her trust fund to start a business.

In the heat of the argument, the dad said something hurtful, claiming the fiancée “doesn’t bring much to the table.”

That comment caused a rift that was deeper than just financial. Later, the dad apologized, but his decision stayed the same: no prenup, no trust fund.

It’s easy to see both sides here. The dad has seen life’s ups and downs, and he knows how quickly love can turn into loss when money is involved.

Statistics show that about 40% of marriages end in divorce, and financial disagreements are one of the main reasons why (CDC National Marriage Statistics, 2024).

But from John’s point of view, it felt like his dad didn’t trust him or his fiancée.

Dr. Susan Bartell, a family psychologist, explains, “Parents often walk a fine line between protecting their adult children and respecting their independence.

Honest talks about money work better than strict rules or ultimatums” (source: Psychology Today, 2025). The dad’s love was clear, but his approach made his son feel small, not supported.

Lessons and Takeaways

This story is a reminder that love and money often mix like oil and water. The dad’s request for a prenup wasn’t wrong, but the way he handled it created distance.

It’s a lesson many parents can learn from. When adult children make big life choices, they don’t always want control, they want understanding.

If the dad had sat down with John and his fiancée to talk calmly about financial planning, things might have gone differently.

He could have shared his worries instead of drawing a hard line. Financial counseling could have helped both sides see the importance of planning for the future.

A 2025 family finance report found that most parents who talk openly about money with their adult kids have better long-term relationships and fewer arguments later on.

And for John, this moment could be a wake-up call. Love is powerful, but money management is part of marriage too.

His fiancée might bring emotional support and care into the relationship, but being a team also means sharing responsibility.

As one commenter said, “Romance is great, but bills don’t pay themselves.”

Sometimes, protecting someone means saying no, even when it hurts.

The dad wasn’t trying to ruin his son’s wedding dreams, he was trying to make sure those dreams didn’t lead to disaster later.

See what others had to share with OP:

The internet couldn’t stay quiet on this one. 

Judgement_Bot_AITA − Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here], and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a__hole: I might be the a__hole

because I did imply that his fiancee might be a golddigger by insisting that he makes a prenup. Help keep the sub engaging!

#Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! and I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.

Infamous-Purple-3131 − I think that spending trust fund money on a wedding, a one day extravaganza, is just plain stupid.

This is why trust funds are set up. So that they don't throw the money away on something dumb.

I don't think that the problem is fiancee earning less, or that there needs to be a prenup. The problem is that they are both financially immature.

I would sit down with them to find out, what their combined income is, where it is going,

how much they have in savings, and why they haven't saved enough for a wedding.

Many sided with the dad, saying he made a smart call, even if it wasn’t the most gentle one. 

PingtheAPB − I’m gonna go YTA. I’m a supporter of signing pre-nups. This protects both parties should things go wrong in the future.

For instance, what if John’s fiancée decides to be a stay at home mom and they divorce after she hasn’t worked a job for several years?

She still sacrificed her time and the opportunity to earn money and one can argue that motherhood can be even more stressful than a full-time job.

That said, I don’t believe you had both John’s and his fiancée’s interests in mind and more just yours and John’s. Stop and think.

Apologize to him and ask him what his fiancée is planning to do, maybe she’s in school, maybe she’ll be a full-time homemaker.

Ask exactly how much he wants, maybe explain your concerns about the expensive wedding and how much of that money could go elsewhere

(finishing/furthering his and fiancée’s education, down payment on a home if he wants to buy a house, money for raising children).

It is up to you on whether you want to release it early, but it’s also up to you to maintain a relationship with your son and this might not...

FiliaNox − It’s his relationship and certainly not your place. Your behavior is not only hurtful to her, it’s hurtful to your son.

I suggest that if you want to be in your son’s life, you right yourself.

This isn’t about money, it’s about you just being an a__hole, period. It’s very telling that you don’t see it.

Stop looking down at people and start looking at yourself.

tumblinr − Yes, you are a classist AH. It seems you are a gold digger.

[Reddit User] − Yta. Its his table that she brings something too and he gets to decide what that is. Not you.

Your not marrying her. Instead of saying that look back to the beginning of your relationship with your wife

and ask yourself how you would have felt in his place and be f__king honest about the answer.

Maybe its just me but a prenup just sets up a mine not ours relationship and imho you cant have a very successful marriage that way.

Do you have a prenup with your wife? Ia your wife blocked from your finances?

Others thought he went too far with his words about the fiancée.

littlepinkpwnie − Nta your money your rules

pretzel_nuggets − YTA. When I first met my husband I was working badly above min wage

and his parents didn't want me to move into the house he owned because of their religious beliefs.

Those beliefs aren't held by us so I did move in. But I always thought it might have been because of my income.

Having someone to support me and not charge me outrageous rent gave me the opportunity to save some money

and pay for my nursing degree through a community College without taking loans.

I have no debt because he was willing to see what I "will" bring to the table rather then my minimum wage job as my only quality.

Also, some people are ok with a wage difference between partners, it's not your job to matchmake.

CurvyCarrots − INFO: Would you say your son has good financial literacy? Does he have retirement or investment accounts that he actively manages?

Does he have any real financial goals in mind? I get why you would want the money put to use investing for your son’s future,

but he might not understand the likely value of saving/investing the money.

Maybe make talking with a financial planner a condition of releasing the funds. It’s a good idea going into a marriage anyway.

Swimming_Dragonfly20 − This is complicated. But I also kind of see myself as the fiancé. I work in vet med.

ie barely more than minimum wage. My fiancé works in IT/software/smarty pants computer things and makes nearly 6x what I do.

While I think your justified in the reasons you released your daughters trust fund early to help her invest in her business

and future compared to releasing your sons to pay for a wedding. YTA for the reasons you gave saying the fiancé doesn’t bring anything to the table.

I may not be your typical girl though and think spending thousands of dollars on a wedding is ridiculous.

There are other ways one contributes to the family besides financially, especially if one spouse can provide enough to keep the family comfortable.

For example, I plan to go part time and stay home with kiddos until they start school saving us more money than I would make on daycare costs.

At the heart of this story is a father who loves his son but doesn’t quite know how to show it the right way. He built a future for his children and wanted to protect it, even if that meant being the bad guy for a while.

Holding firm on the prenup might keep John from a financial heartbreak later, but it also reminded everyone that even the best intentions can come across as mistrust when emotions are high.

The real lesson here is balance. Protecting your children doesn’t mean controlling them. Sometimes, you have to let them take their own steps, even if they stumble.

Open communication, respect, and patience can save a lot more than a trust fund, they can save a relationship.

So, what would you do? Would you hold firm like this dad or let your child take the risk? Love can build families, but trust and honesty keep them together.

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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