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Fiancée Locks Herself in Room After Being Forced to Babysit His Sister’s Baby on Vacation

by Charles Butler
September 26, 2025
in Social Issues

A couple planned the perfect California vacation. They imagined sunny mornings by the pool, quiet walks along the beach, and relaxing dinners without a worry in the world.

Instead, one of them ended up babysitting an 8-month-old baby almost nonstop. The child belonged to the fiancé’s sister, who seemed to assume that their partner’s arms were always available.

Drinks were spilled, the dog got into everything, and after a long 23-hour car ride, the stress finally became too much.

They locked themselves in their room just to get a moment of peace. Was this a reasonable way to protect their vacation, or did it create tension for everyone else?

Fiancée Locks Herself in Room After Being Forced to Babysit His Sister’s Baby on Vacation

When Vacation Becomes a Babysitting Gig – Here’s The Original Post:

'AITA for telling him I'm locking myself in the room for the rest of the vacation because I'm tired of holding his sisters kid?'

My fiance and I were invited to go along on a trip to California for a week. I do not have my children with me due to them being with...

and having wrestling tournaments that they cannot miss (already spent hundreds on nonrefundable tickets for them to participate).

We drove here with his family, so I was already quite exhausted when getting to the resort after having listened to an 8 month old scream practically the entire ride

(23 hours but they INSISTED we go with them for the drive to swap off driving and site see).

We were crammed in this vehicle like sardines because on the floor was their family dogs (a 75lb bull mastiff and her two puppies).

So yes, dog s__t was also present. They were quick to clean up but still. The car was putrid.

When we get to the resort I quickly noticed how that I was seen as a built in babysitter for my fiance's sisters 8 month old daughter.

Everytime my FSIL and her husband wanted to take a shower, swim, eat, or even if they just didnt feel like holding her, this child was thrown in to my...

Every single time. There are 5 other adults here but they claimed that this child only wanted me.

I cant exactly argue it because at this point I had held the baby so much that she did put her arms out for me quite often, even in passing...

But it hit a point where I was getting pissed. I was in the pool yesterday and my FSIL gets in and within 5 minutes passes the baby off to...

I hand her back maybe 10 minutes later claiming I needed to use the restroom and stayed indoors.

Maybe 15 minutes later they come inside and pass the baby off to me again saying they need to shower and ask me to bring the child in to them...

After I pass the baby off to them, I lock myself in the room and I've barely left since.

My fiance comes in here a bit ago and tells me we are all going out to eat and I told him I didnt feel like going and becoming a...

As it is, I've already held this child more than enough and had several drinks spilled on me because of her octopus arms.

He said I cant just sit up here to avoid holding the baby and that I am wasting the trip all because I wont say no.

Half the time they dont ask though. The baby is practically tossed at me. AITA?

Vacation or Babysitting Duty

From their perspective, the trip quickly became a full-time babysitting job. The sister handed over the baby at every opportunity, leaving little time to relax. At first, they tried to be helpful, but it became clear the sister assumed they would be available at all hours.

Even small tasks like grabbing a drink or sitting by the pool were constantly interrupted. What should have been relaxing time became stressful, and retreating to their room was the only way to cope.

The sister might have thought that their partner enjoyed holding the baby and wanted to help. The baby even seemed to bond with them, which could have reinforced that idea.

But the assumption ignored the fact that vacations are for adults to rest and recharge. Studies show that most travelers prioritize downtime, yet this person had almost none. Feeling trapped and overwhelmed, they needed a break.

Boundaries and Communication

Family vacations can get complicated when expectations are not clearly communicated. The fiancé was caught in the middle, trying to keep everyone happy. Experts say that setting boundaries calmly is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

A simple statement like, “I love helping, but I need a break,” could have prevented the stress from escalating. Silence allowed the sister’s assumptions to grow, turning a manageable situation into a major conflict.

The sister could also have been more aware of the need for personal time. She assumed that their partner would always step in, but that was not realistic.

Family trips with young children can be fun, but they require respect for everyone’s limits. Not acknowledging those limits can make a relaxing vacation feel like a job. Clear communication from the start can prevent frustration and help everyone enjoy the trip.

This situation also highlights a bigger lesson about expectations. When multiple adults travel together, responsibilities like childcare, cooking, and transportation need to be shared.

A survey in 2023 found that 44 percent of families report conflicts during vacations over these kinds of tasks. Being treated like a parent when you are not one can create resentment.

Planning shared duties or scheduling short breaks for each adult can prevent stress and keep the vacation enjoyable.

Stress and Emotional Impact

Taking care of a baby continuously can be exhausting, even for someone who loves children. When combined with heat, long travel, and constant activity, it can quickly become overwhelming.

The person who retreated to their room had envisioned relaxing by the pool and spending quiet time with their partner, but instead, they were constantly on alert.

The frustration built up until the only way to cope was to step away. While locking themselves in a room might seem extreme, it was a natural response to feeling trapped and unappreciated.

Not having personal space during a vacation can have lasting emotional effects. Feeling taken for granted can turn family trips into stressful experiences.

Setting boundaries early is crucial to maintaining both relationships and mental health. By establishing clear rules for childcare responsibilities, everyone knows what to expect, and misunderstandings are minimized.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many understood why taking a break was necessary, while others suggested that speaking up earlier might have prevented the conflict. 

Beautiful_Tourist580 − Not gonna lie, I would have flown home already. NTA

ed_lv − NTA but you really need to tell them no (Firm hard NO). Tell her it's your child, and I am done being a babysitter for you.

If your fiancé won't support you, than you really need to reconsider the entire engagement and the relationship.

ughnonotagain − NTA, but learn to keep your arms folded and don't grab the baby. People often automatically grab whatever is pushed at them, try not too.

If you do end up with the baby, put it down immediately in sight of the parents. Or just tell them in advance you don't appreciate being the go to.

The story highlights a common challenge in family vacations. When expectations are not discussed, stress and tension almost always follow. 

SolutionLeading − INFO: what happens if you say “no, I love the baby but I’m tired of holding it”

makethatnoise − ESH It sounds like a frustrating, and bad situation, but in the story I don't see you at any point telling anyone "I don't want to do this".

You had to imagine what the driving situation would be like, why didn't you put your foot down when your fiancé told you that you would be driving together?

When the baby is continuing to get passed to you, why didn't you say "no thank you, I don't want to hold the baby right now?" Their actions seem pretty...

Them being annoying doesn't give you a right to be an a__hole; locking yourself in a room

and refusing to do things with your future family members doesn't seem like a good way to start things off as future family.

Dry-Comment-6889 − NTA but just tell them. Maybe they are doing it unconsciously. If they are doing it purposely you will cut it at the root. Or just pass the...

Experiences like this show how easily a relaxing trip can turn chaotic without clear communication.

BeeYehWoo − ESH mostly your in laws but Im including you. This entitled behavior from your in-laws would stop if you would just say something and assert yourself.

Helping out is one thing. But allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat and brooding this growing resentment is another.

He said I cant just sit up here to avoid holding the baby and that I am wasting the trip all because I wont say no.' He is right.

You are this close to ruining the vacation for him too. he wants to spend time with you and you are going to just shut yourself in a room and...

There are ways to be diplomatic and assert yourself politely. Nicely refuse and dont allow this to happen any longer.

Let your inlaws know they have to do the lion's share of the baby sitting. Whats wrong with you saying: "im tired of holding the baby"

cbis4144 − NTA, though I would suggest just trying to say no and seeing how that goes (or express your discomfort with the whole situation).

Either way though, they shouldn’t be expecting you to care for their child, as you are not responsible for making or bringing it

FredTrail − NTA. Tell them no. And also book a plane ticket for the return trip.

melloyellomio − Don't respond by reaching out, just say mo thanks, not right now and walk away.

A Vacation or a Vow of Solitude?

What started as a relaxing California getaway turned into a nonstop babysitting challenge. Locking oneself in a room may have been necessary to get a break, but it also created tension with family members.

Could a simple “I need a break” have solved the problem without conflict? Could scheduling shared duties or breaks throughout the day have made the vacation enjoyable for everyone?

Family trips are meant to be fun, but they can quickly become stressful if boundaries are not respected. How would you handle being treated like a babysitter during your vacation?

 

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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