One Redditor found himself walking the fine line between honest support and uncomfortable reality when he tried to help his friend land a job. The friend, living with bipolar disorder and depression, had applied to nearly 100 places with zero responses. That’s when the Redditor discovered something unusual in his resume—and made a suggestion that sparked a surprising backlash.
He recommended removing the mention of mental illness entirely. It wasn’t meant to hide his condition, he argued, just to keep the focus on his qualifications. But when the friend’s girlfriend found out, she wasn’t having it. Was this friend being pragmatic, or just plain prejudiced? Let’s unpack what happened.
One person shared on Reddit how advising their friend to remove his bipolar disorder from his resume led to a clash with his girlfriend, leaving them questioning their stance
Mental health belongs in open conversations—but does it belong on a resume?
Let’s be blunt: resumes are marketing tools, not autobiographies. They’re meant to highlight relevant skills, experience, and qualifications. Personal health—mental or physical—isn’t typically part of that package. So when this Redditor told his friend to remove his bipolar diagnosis from his resume, he wasn’t wrong by professional standards.
Career coach and hiring expert Alison Green of Ask a Manager has said repeatedly that resumes should not include medical conditions. “It’s not just unnecessary—it’s a red flag because it shows a lack of understanding about professional norms,” she explains in this article.
And it’s not about shame—it’s about timing. If an employee needs accommodations, disclosure can happen after a job offer, through the appropriate HR channels. Broadcasting personal medical history during the first impression can inadvertently bias decision-makers, even when protections like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) exist.
According to a 2021 report by Mind Share Partners, one in three employees fear retaliation for disclosing mental health conditions at work. That fear isn’t unfounded. A resume lands in a pile alongside dozens—if not hundreds—of others, and anything that feels “different” can be dismissed without a second thought.
The girlfriend’s view is understandable in spirit. Encouraging someone to embrace their diagnosis and advocate for inclusion is admirable—but inclusion happens best within spaces where trust is already established, not in the hiring funnel where implicit bias can silently work against qualified applicants.
Ultimately, advocating for self-respect is noble. But so is advocating for job security—and there’s no shame in keeping the personal personal.
Commenters emphasized that resumes are for skills, not personal health, comparing bipolar disclosure to irrelevant details like sexual orientation or minor ailments
Users noted that disclosing mental health early invites stigma and signals poor professional judgment, likely causing the friend’s lack of callbacks
Commenters questioned the girlfriend’s advice, suggesting it could sabotage his job prospects, even if well-intentioned, by ignoring workplace realities
Users advised disclosing health issues post-offer, citing laws like the ADA, to avoid early bias while protecting rights
Commenters recommended consulting Ask a Manager, noting that expert Alison Green would likely call the disclosure a major misstep
This Redditor may have stepped on a few toes, but his advice likely helped his friend more than it hurt. In a world still struggling with mental health stigma, there’s wisdom in picking your moment—and your platform. Should resumes be spaces for radical honesty, or simply a way to get a foot in the door? Where’s the line between authenticity and strategy? Share your take in the comments.
