Future MIL Offers To Pay For Wedding Brunch, Then Refuses To Respect The Couple’s Diet

Weddings often highlight the difference between tradition and personal choice.

When family members want to contribute, those differences can become more visible, especially when food and ethics enter the conversation.

One couple thought they had settled their wedding plans, only to discover an additional event was being arranged without their input.

While the offer behind it was generous, the details sparked a disagreement that left everyone frustrated.

Food and drink at a wedding aren’t just sustenance; they’re symbolic of hospitality, celebration, and shared cultural norms.

As weddings have evolved, so has the way hosts approach menu planning, balancing their own values with tradition, guest expectations, and the desire to make everyone comfortable.

In contemporary wedding etiquette, accommodating guests’ dietary restrictions is widely considered a thoughtful practice, especially when those restrictions are based on health, allergies, or deeply held lifestyle choices.

Catering guides recommend asking about and planning for dietary needs well in advance and ensuring that menus clearly label options like vegetarian or vegan so that guests know what they can and cannot eat.

While most sources focus on guests’ needs, similar principles apply to the hosts themselves: when a couple or their family chooses to elevate certain dietary values, whether for ethical, health, or cultural reasons, communication and inclusivity become central to the process.

In the situation described, the couple adheres to a vegetarian diet with ethical reasons for avoiding meat and eggs, and they have already crafted their own wedding menu around that principle.

Other couples have made similar choices; numerous real-life examples exist of vegetarian weddings drawing pushback from family members who feel disappointed or upset at the absence of meat, yet many etiquette commentators affirm that a well-planned vegetarian menu with adequate protein and variety is entirely acceptable, even if it deviates from traditional omnivorous fare.

In one high-profile instance, a couple was criticized by relatives for hosting an all-vegetarian reception, but multiple voices highlighted that when the menu is filling and thoughtfully executed, guests generally accept it without issue.

Wedding menu planning guides also emphasize that clarity and communication with the caterer and guests are essential.

Sitting down with a caterer early allows hosts to understand how to prepare for specific dietary needs, like vegetarian or vegan options, and to present a menu that reflects both the couple’s values and the expectations of their guests.

Catering professionals can help design dishes that are both satisfying and aligned with the couple’s ethical preferences, which helps avoid last-minute surprises or dissatisfaction.

From an etiquette standpoint, hosts have the prerogative to plan celebrations that reflect their values, and guests are generally expected to respect those choices rather than dictate menu content.

This includes dietary decisions that may be unconventional for some attendees.

While family members may grumble or “wish there were more protein,” etiquette resources suggest that accommodating extreme or uncommon requests is not a formal obligation, especially when the food offered is plentiful and thoughtfully presented.

Indeed, many couples today choose plant-based menus precisely because they want their wedding to reflect their lifelong beliefs, and guests are expected to appreciate the sentiment even if it differs from their own preferences.

Advice for the couple in this situation would highlight the importance of clear communication and boundaries: explaining to the future MIL that while the gesture of a brunch is generous, the menu must align with the couple’s dietary values.

They might offer practical alternatives that still honor her desire to host, for example a brunch buffet with vegetarian eggs alternatives, dairy and fruit-based options, or wholesome plant-based “protein” dishes, that satisfy both ethical considerations and guests’ needs without defaulting to meat or eggs.

Discussing not just what foods will be served but why those choices matter to the couple helps demystify their preferences and can reduce familial tension.

Ultimately, weddings are celebrations of a couple’s union and values. Dietary decisions, especially when rooted in sincere ethical commitments, are a personal expression of that identity.

Rejecting a menu that contradicts those values isn’t inherently unreasonable or disrespectful; it’s part of setting boundaries around how the couple chooses to celebrate one of the most meaningful days of their lives.

In situations where generous offers like a brunch come with conditions that contradict core values, couples are within their rights to advocate for a menu that reflects who they are, and guests typically come to terms with it when the options are plentiful, considerate, and clearly communicated.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

These commenters largely sided against OP, arguing that the brunch isn’t really part of the wedding but a separate event hosted and paid for by the MIL.

This group zeroed in on semantics and consistency.

These users strongly backed OP, calling it disrespectful to host a brunch “in the couple’s honor” while centering the menu around foods they don’t eat.

The Redditor didn’t demand extravagance, just consistency with beliefs they’ve lived by for years. A “gift” that ignores those boundaries starts to feel more like leverage than generosity.

Is it fair to cancel something you never wanted if it comes with strings attached, or should compromise win to keep the peace? How much accommodation is too much on your own wedding weekend? Share your verdict below.