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Ghosting, Blocking, and Unhinged Texts: A Farrier’s Exit Left This Horse Owner Completely Confused

by Sunny Nguyen
March 26, 2026
in Social Issues

We have all experienced that sudden moment of silence when we expect a reply. Usually, it is a casual friend or an online acquaintance, and while it might be annoying, we just move on. But what happens when the silence comes from a specialist who plays a critical role in your life?

For a horse owner, a farrier isn’t just a service provider, they are a trusted partner in the long-term well-being of a living, breathing creature. A recent situation went from a simple request for help to an all-out personal attack. It is a story of missing shoes, disappearing social media profiles, and an unexpected, rather intense, rant from a spouse.

If you have ever been left wondering if someone you trusted has actually passed away or just decided to stop communicating, you will want to read how this unfolded.

The Story

Ghosting, Blocking, and Unhinged Texts: A Farrier’s Exit Left This Horse Owner Completely Confused
Not the actual photo

AITA for thinking my farrier died after he ghosted me, only to find out he blocked me and then his wife called me desperate?

I (28F) have worked with the same farrier Josh (35M) for over two years. For context, farriers are specialists who trim and shoe horses' hooves every 4–6 weeks.

It's an important and regular part of horse care, and you build trust with the person doing it. (quick context* I have two senior pasture horses that live

on my parents’ property. I don’t ride consistently anymore (I work full-time and have three kids, two of them toddlers), but I tend them weekly. They get

vet visits 2x a year for shots, hoof care every 4–6 weeks, and regular attention by my parents when I can't. They’re both shod in the front

and barefoot in the back due to some lingering white line issues from wet conditions and this is common in most horses in our region)

For the full time of our professional relationship,it was always friendly and professional. You get to know your farrier fairly well since they are such a

regular part of care (IYKYK) so we’d chat during appointments about life, family, politics—you name it. He knew my horses well, recommended treatments for the

white line I pirchased and did throughout our time, and I was always timely with payment, flexible with scheduling, and respectful of his time as he was with

me. No drama. No tension. Ever. A few weeks ago, I messaged him about something my vet recommended after my mare was diagnosed with arthrisis. Getting a game

plan to adjust the trim slightly for arthritis and askimg if he could come pull the shoes so I could soak the horse’s hooves for bacteria. Normal..

No response. Five days later, one of my horses lost a shoe. Still nothing. I texted again. Called. Waited a week. Then two. I genuinely started to worry.

The messages hadn’t even been marked as read, so I wondered if something serious had happened. I looked him up in the news. Nothing. I sent four

more texts over the span of a month just asking if he was okay.. Still nothing. I finally booked a different farrier to help. When I mentioned

what had happened, he agreed it was weird but figured maybe Josh was on vacation or dealing with something personal. We all were still trying to

give the benefit of the doubt. Then I remembered Facebook. I rarely use it, but I checked... and there he was... Posting just a day earlier,

celebrating his certification as a journeyman farrier. I felt relieved. I commented congratulations publicly and messaged him privately saying I’d been worried and maybe needed a

new number.. The next day? His profile was gone. I had clearly been blocked.. So I went to Instagram. Sent a similar message there, hoping it

was just a tech issue.. BLOCKED AGAIN withing an HOUR. Now officially freaked out and confused, I asked my husband to check. Josh’s profile was still

visible on his account, so I messaged from there asking if something was wrong or if I’d done something to offend him. Still trying to be

respectful. I even messaged his wife on Facebook with the same concern.. I was blocked there too.. I hadn’t said anything harsh. I didn’t accuse

or demand. Just tried to check in. At that point, I figured maybe I was too small a client, or the vet note rubbed him the

wrong way, or... something I’ll never know? Idk. I was hurt and honestly stunned, but I decided to let it go.. Until a few days ago,

his wife unblocked me to messaged me and send me a rant. She called me “desperate,” said her husband “doesn’t owe me anything,” accused me of

not taking care of my horses (???), and even sent me the literal definition of ghosting like she was explaining it to a teenager and commenting

that because i was young, I didnt realize how "entitled and disturbing" my behavior was.... WTH Now I’m left feeling both stupid for caring so much

and angry that someone I worked with closely for two years couldn’t give me the basic courtesy of a heads-up. It’s not like I sent 50

unhinged texts—I was WORRIED. I would’ve completely understood if he wanted to move on or drop me as a client or if he had an issue

and wanted to bring it up, Ive been through my fair share of farriers in the past 12 years (edit for all who think this is

a red flag, Ive moved from Chicago to two places in Texas and 1 Farrier retired, that would be 5 including Josh and 6 for

the one im going to have to find and settle on in 12 years). But why block me and then trash me behind a screen? So

Reddit, AITA for thinking something had happened to my farrier after weeks of silence, trying to follow up respectfully, and then being upset when I

got blocked and insulted? P.s. Farriers run on word of mouth so its not like I can leave a review but I dont know if I

should share my experience with others at my local fees store when Im by... should I just wash my hands of this?? (For context

if you're not in the horse world: Farriers aren’t like plumbers where you can just call another one if someone flakes. It’s more like a

home nurse or a personal specialist; you build a relationship over months. They get to know your horse’s individual hoof needs, the terrain they live

on, any medical or movement issues, etc. You don’t typically “rotate” farriers, it’s one person you trust, and there aren’t tons to pick from in most areas.)

This situation sounds like it belongs in a TV drama. It is perfectly normal to feel a sense of alarm when a professional you’ve relied on for years simply stops answering the phone, especially when it involves the health of your senior horses.

Most of us would do exactly what this owner did—check for news, reach out from other platforms when the radio silence grows long, and look for a simple explanation. The response they got from the wife is, to put it lightly, very out of the ordinary. It honestly makes me feel that this has much more to do with the farrier’s own internal struggles than anything the client actually did wrong.

Expert Opinion

In the horse community, the farrier-owner dynamic is indeed deeply specialized. It is built on high stakes, regular access, and consistent physical presence. When that rhythm is disrupted without a clear, professional conversation, it leaves the owner feeling not just inconvenienced, but deeply anxious.

From a business ethics standpoint, experts note that even if a specialist decides they need to end a client relationship for personal or logistical reasons, there is a clear “best practice.” A professional usually communicates a simple, firm, and boundary-focused message, such as being fully booked or adjusting service areas. Blocking a client mid-service is widely viewed as a major failure in professionalism.

Relationship dynamics in these trades can get messy, particularly if the farrier’s home life becomes entangled with their work. Dr. Melanie Greenberg, a psychologist, has noted that displacement is a common coping mechanism.

When someone feels under pressure, or if there is an issue like jealousy or insecurity within a marriage, it is very common for that negative emotion to be projected outward onto “safe” targets, like an innocent client.

The fact that the wife chose to send a long, reactive message instead of the farrier simply sending a professional one confirms that the boundary between their private stress and their professional life has blurred entirely. The client didn’t do anything “disturbing”; they simply tried to maintain the standard of care for their horses, which is what any dedicated owner would do.

Community Opinions

Users felt the farrier’s silence was unprofessional and suggested the wife’s reaction indicates serious personal issues.

1TiredPrsn − I wonder if the wife thought you were getting too close to her husband. NTA but I’d drop it for your sake.

HalfVast59 − Do tell others what happened... Do be fair about his skills with horses.

Do not make it "he's a bad person." Do be diplomatic, but be honest.

dismal-duckling − It's very strange he ghosted you and didn't provide any notifications he was ending your services...

I would share a review that he ghosted you and the wife was incredibly rude.

Many argued that the client’s concern was a direct result of caring for the animals.

cutiebird31 − You are fine. Horse people are weird. Finding good caretakers for your animals is even harder.

Dramatic_Attempt4318 − The basic thing here is that regardless of the reason behind it there is a professional way to drop a client...

what he did to you is deeply unprofessional and absolutely unacceptable.

CeramicToast − It's not at all professional on his end to just stop showing up and stop responding to your text...

it's incredibly weird that he blocked you immediately and it's incredibly weird for his wife to be that up in your s__t about it.

Others encouraged the client to set this situation aside for her own peace of mind.

VivianDiane − NTA. You were a concerned, respectful client who got ghosted...

Move on, find a better farrier, and maybe warn others if asked. Block them back and don’t engage further.

Odd_Course6868 − I don’t wanna call you an a__hole... I however, do think you took it too far

when you messaged him from a different account and then messaged his wife.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you feel ghosted by a specialist, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to limit the search for closure to within your own heart. When someone acts in an erratic or unprofessional manner, you will rarely get a rational explanation, no matter how many polite questions you ask.

After you have confirmed that a service provider has ceased contact, the best approach is to document the ending of that relationship for your records and immediately prioritize your new path forward. In the world of animal care, trust is essential, and someone who behaves this way has clearly shown you they cannot be the professional partner you need.

Save your energy for finding a farrier who communicates clearly, even if it is just to say they are moving on to other work.

Conclusion

The horse world can feel like a very small community, and losing a long-term connection to someone who knows your animals is genuinely upsetting. It is completely understandable that you worried for his well-being before you felt hurt by his silence.

It sounds like you were a fantastic client, and his inability to simply communicate says everything about him and his current situation, and absolutely nothing about your dedication to your horses. Was this just a strange, isolated incident, or would you find it helpful to be forewarned by others if this happened to them?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 1/1 votes | 100%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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