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Girlfriend Asks Boyfriends Help With Her Dream Job, He Secretly Applies For It And “Steals” Her Chance

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A law-grad couple’s dream UK trainee slot blew up when he snagged the invite post-her rejection, after she’d confided the gig’s life-or-death stakes. His “submit” click unleashed tears, betrayal screams, and icy silence.

Reddit’s a tribunal of ruthless rulings. Some crucify his ambition as soul-selling sabotage, others defend cutthroat climbs, saying love’s no job shield. Hearts shatter, careers clash: who tanked the romance résumé?

A law grad’s secret job application leads to girlfriend’s betrayal cries after he lands her dream firm’s interview.

Girlfriend Asks Boyfriends Help With Her Dream Job, He Secretly Applies For It And "Steals" Her Chance
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for "stealing" my girlfriend's dream job?'

Me (23M) and my girlfriend (23F) both met through studying law at university together, and we have the shared goal of eventually being trainee solicitors.

In the UK, it's an incredibly competitive process, with some firms receiving 4000 applications or so for roughly 50 spaces

and almost everyone who applies is a strong candidate.

Ever since I've known her, my girlfriend has been fixated on training at one firm in particular.

I'm not sure why, but I believe it's because she attended a career event there a few years ago and fell in love with it.

When the application cycle opened, my girlfriend was excited about applying

and she asked for my help in reading the application and checking it over for her. I was happy to do this and wanted her to achieve her goal.

When reading hers, I became interested in the firm myself and on a whim, decided to submit a last minute application.

I weighed it up and decided not to tell my girlfriend about this as I didn't feel my application was strong,

and I was less focused on only one firm so would send other applications out.

Yesterday, my girlfriend received an email that she'd been unsuccessful in reaching the next stage (an interview).

She was really upset, but I made her dinner to cheer her up and she seemed over it the next day.

As I had applied to other places and thought my application was weak, I didn't think much of my own and wasn't overly fussed if I progressed or not.

However, the next day, I received an email that I had advanced to the interview.

I was surprised but also happy because I knew this was a difficult place to get an interview for.

When I mentioned it to my girlfriend, she was incredibly upset, started crying, and told me that I'd "betrayed" her and "stolen" the job from her.

Now she's refusing to talk to me, despite me trying to reach out.

Part of me feels extremely guilty as I know how much it meant to her and I was less fussed,

but the other side of me thinks the job world is competitive and I shouldn't restrict my future opportunities just for someone else,

while there was no guarantee she'd have gotten it anyway (and nor do I yet). So, AITA?

Imagine competing with your partner for their holy-grail job, that’s next-level awkwardness wrapped in a lawsuit waiting to happen.

At its core, the issue boils down to transparency, or the glaring lack thereof. The boyfriend helped polish his girlfriend’s application, got inspired, and sneakily submitted his own without a heads-up. When her rejection hit, he comforted her. Then, boom, his interview news dropped like a gavel.

She feels stabbed in the back, calling it theft. He insists the job market’s a battlefield, and spots aren’t reserved. Both sides have a point, but the secrecy? That’s the real villain here, turning a fair shot into a blindside.

Flip the script: from her view, this firm was her North Star, obsession-fueled since a career fair sparkle. Helping him review her app built trust, only for him to pivot it into his gain.

Motivations? He claims whim and low expectations, but landing an interview at a place with 4,000 applicants for 50 spots screams calculated hustle, not casual. Satirically speaking, it’s like borrowing your bestie’s lottery ticket idea, buying your own, and winning while pretending you “forgot” to mention it.

Opposing angles shine in the comments, where most label him the jerk not for applying, but for the covert ops. One user nails it: he could’ve floated a simple “Hey, mind if I apply too? Wouldn’t it be epic if we both scored?”

That openness might’ve softened the blow, framing it as team vibes over rivalry. Instead, the omission brewed resentment, amplifying her grief into full-blown betrayal.

Zooming out, this mirrors broader relationship dynamics in high-stakes careers. A 2023 UK study by the Law Society found that 68% of trainee solicitors report intense competition stress impacting personal lives, with partnerships often strained by overlapping ambitions. It’s a reminder that in cutthroat fields like law, where rejection rates hover at 98%, couples need ground rules to avoid turning love into a zero-sum game.

For expert insight, relationship therapist Esther Perel explains in a Psychology Today interview: “Shame, guilt, ignorance, reservation, prudishness, all kinds of different cultural systems and social stereotypes shroud sexuality in secrecy and in silence.”

Here, it applies perfectly. The boyfriend’s decision to keep his application under wraps, even amid shared career dreams, layered a veil of unspoken tension onto their partnership, much like the cultural barriers Perel describes that stifle open dialogue in intimate areas.

While not about sexuality per se, this secrecy around professional ambitions created a parallel silence: one fueled by fear of conflict rather than shame, yet equally corrosive to the vulnerability needed for true teamwork.

Perel’s point illuminates why his “whim” reveal landed like a gut punch. It bypassed the chance for mutual processing, leaving her to grapple alone with rejection while he held a hidden card.

In high-pressure fields, such withheld truths don’t just hide facts, they obscure the emotional scaffolding that lets couples navigate rivalry without resentment.

Neutral advice? Communicate early. Discuss applications like you do date nights. If vibes turn sour, consider withdrawing if the relationship outweighs the role (though no guarantees exist). Or, cheer each other on separately. Couples therapy via apps like Relate could help unpack this.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some say the core issue is secrecy, not the application itself.

MiLeenaLee − As to the original question, you didn't "steal" anything so NTA.

In general though? YTA You applied without telling her, which is messed up to say the least.

You set yourself up for this TBH. It could have been so easy, "Hey do you mind if I apply too? Wouldn't be great if we both got it!

(edited to add, this is an example, I don't think you literally had to ask her permission, just tell her)

She probably would have been on cloud nine, and then she wouldn't have been so blindsided to find out you got an interview.

FlaxFox − YTA for lying by omission. You've harmed your relationship by not including her in that decision.

I mean, there's a reason you didn't tell her, right? It wasn't because your application was weak

but because you knew she'd feel some type of way about the situation. I'd say N A H if you'd been honest and included her.

It would be a total non-issue if you'd just said "hey, I'm gonna apply, too," but you knowingly went behind her back.

Even if you didn't think about it that deeply, that action has a consequence.

jrm1102 − YTA - why did you not tell her you were applying. That's why youre an AH, not for advancing, but for doing this behind her back.

Some call the timing cruel, rubbing salt in her rejection.

princessbeatrix1923 − YTA for the way you handled this - you applied without telling her.

Then you sprang your offer on her when she was upset. I mean, take the job, but this wound might not heal.

I'll say this - my husband and I when we first met were talking about different places we applied for college

and I mentioned I got into a place but turned it down and then he shared that he applied there and was rejected...

and it really clearly hurt his feelings. And we didn't even know each other at that time.

You're her partner, and you did this without talking to her. Think about that.

MiLeenaLee − If you interviewed and didn't get it, since you had already made the choice to not tell her,

she wouldn't have ever known and none of this would happen. Why would you tell her about the interview?

It bet it felt like you were kicking her while she was down and that you wanted her to know you were better than her.

Not saying that is your intentions, but that is exactly what I would think. Is that how you wanted her to feel?

Some question the “whim” claim and downplaying of interest.

toxicredox − YTA for applying without telling her. You're right. She may not have gotten an interview even if you hadn't applied.

But that is not the point at all. You deliberately chose not to tell her about your own interest in this place AND that you chose to apply.

You've made a point to say you were interested by the firm but weren't "fussed" with whether or not you got an interview.

Which is it? Either you do actually care (which explains why you applied) or you're "not fussed" about this opportunity (in which case, why did you apply, again)?

andromache97 − YTA The whole way you handled this is weaselly as f__k.

You keep downplaying your application even though you obviously wouldn't have applied if you didn't think you had a shot.

Stop with the fake humility to cover up why you weren't just honest with her about applying in the first place.

It's not wrong that you applied, it's wrong that you didn't tell her initially to let her emotionally process that you two were "competing" BEFORE she got rejected.

Apart-Ad-6518 − Dude YTA here. "Ever since I've known her, my girlfriend has been fixated on training at one firm in particular."

She has to be realistic & understand she needs to keep her options open. You knew she wanted this badly though.

You weren't an A H for applying but you totally are for not being upfront & telling her you were throwing your hat in the ring.

"On a whim, decided to submit a last minute application. I'm calling BS on that.

You don't get an interview to a top law firm on a "last minute application."

Some say partners should communicate major applications.

[Reddit User] − You're an a__hole for not telling her you were also applying to her dream job.

All of your other self excuses of "world is competitive" and such only have merit if you actually had the spine to tell her you were also applying to this...

Drewherondale − YTA you went behind her back and you wouldn‘t have even applied without her

Ready-Replacement181 − YTA, why apply for it and not tell your girlfriend. I understand why your girlfriend is upset.

Your not ah for applying for a job however your ah for not telling her.

This law-love clash highlights how one hidden application can torpedo trust faster than a bad verdict.

Do you think the Redditor’s secrecy was a dealbreaker, or just a rookie mistake in a brutal job hunt? Would you spill the beans upfront next time? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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