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Group Laughs At Training Plan, Then Blames Him When It Falls Apart

by Layla Bui
February 2, 2026
in Social Issues

Running a business that depends on trust means relying on people to be honest about their abilities. When expectations don’t match reality, even good intentions can spiral into conflict fast.

In this situation, a hiking guide agreed to train a group toward a challenging goal after reviewing their self-reported fitness levels. What he encountered during their first outings was far from what he’d been told. Despite adjustments, coaching, and attempts to reset expectations, it quickly became clear that the original plan wasn’t realistic or safe.

When he chose to cancel future hikes and issue refunds, the reaction was explosive. Accusations followed, along with public backlash that left him questioning whether professionalism crossed into insensitivity or if he simply refused to enable an unsafe situation.

A routine laundry moment turns explosive when a wife checks her husband’s pockets

Group Laughs At Training Plan, Then Blames Him When It Falls Apart
not the actual photo

'AITA for cancelling on a group of very out of shape women that hired me to train/guide their hikes?'

First up, please know I am trying my best to be kind in my wording.

I run a small operation where I guide groups or help train them to be able to hike. I have served all kinds of clients.

I got an inquiry for a group called "Womens+ Adventures" and because it was during Pride Month, I thought maybe it was an LGBTQ+ group.

I chatted with the head of the group, collected the information (hiking levels, what have they done before, etc),

and we exchanged money and I started the training plan.

The group wanted to work up to "A 14er" which if you do them, you know there's all kinds.

Going off what everyone reported, I decided Gray's Peak. One of the easiest and most rewarding because of the beautiful valley it's in.

When I arrived for our first group hike, I learned "Womens+" meant plus-sized women rather than LGBTQ+.

No issue, their forms all said they were in good condition to start.

The first hike was... awful. It was a short 4 miles round trip, with 750ft elevation gain.

Several of them ignored my list of suggestions for attire, footwear, supplies, etc.

When we got started hiking, it was very slow.

One woman was upset we were starting with something so strenuous and asked for a break every 1/2 mile.

One ate all of her snacks after the first break. Lots of complaints of it being too hard, too long, etc.

After we got back (6 hours later) I pulled the head aside and asked if everyone was truthful on their abilities forms.

She insisted it was all true and then got annoyed that I didn't believe them.

When I suggested we aim for a smaller goal, she was obviously very offended.

I gave them all "homework" which was to make sure to take a brisk 1 hour walk every day to prepare for the next hike.

Several of them laughed at me incredulously.

2nd Hike went even worse. I had an 8-week plan in place, and it was obvious to me this wasn't going to work.

So I called the head and told her that I thought it was best if I refund the cost pro-rated from the two hikes we did.

Well, she threw a huge tantrum and called me all kinds of names, and insinuated that I am f__phobic, I'm mocking them, etc.

Please, PLEASE keep in mind that I have helped train several overweight people,

including a pair of women in their 60s who send me pictures all the time of their great adventures.

I consider myself to be VERY patient.

One of them said they thought we would start with something like a walk in a local park to get us ready to hike in a few weeks.

Simply put, they weren't realistic with their expectations.

I refunded the money and ended contact only to find my Social Media bombarded by hate from all kinds of people.

You can guess what I was called. I felt awful and in talking over this with people,

several told me I was an a__hole for not powering through, that I should have given them THREE chances,

that I should have had more patience and understanding that not everyone is a natural athlete. AITA?

Good intentions mean little without clear communication and shared expectations. People come to fitness and adventure with heart and hope, but those qualities don’t guarantee readiness for the challenge they’ve envisioned.

In this case, the OP entered into a professional agreement based on information provided by the group, specifically that they were capable of working toward a 14er hike. The first outing signalled a mismatch between what was reported and the clients’ actual abilities.

Misaligned expectations like this aren’t uncommon in training contexts, and they’re the primary cause of frustration and conflict between professionals and clients.

According to trainers and industry guides, a significant part of effective coaching involves setting realistic expectations early and ensuring both parties agree on achievable goals. When goals are unclear or unrealistic, disappointment and miscommunication are almost inevitable.

Fitness professionals and guides also operate in a space where boundaries are part of ethical and sustainable practice. Trainers and coaches are advised to establish what clients can reasonably accomplish before committing to programs that exceed current capabilities.

This isn’t about being harsh; it’s about professional responsibility and client safety. Without a clear agreement and coachable mindset, pushing forward can risk injury, resentment, or burnout, outcomes no reputable trainer wants for their clients.

That said, handling difficult clients also relies on communication skills and empathy. Industry articles on dealing with challenging clients suggest that clear dialogue, setting expectations upfront, and consistent check-ins about goals and progress are essential to avoid disputes.

Trainers are encouraged to maintain an open line of communication where challenges can be discussed constructively rather than becoming emotional flashpoints later.

If the group willingly misrepresented their abilities, that in itself is a challenge. Trainers can’t safely plan hikes or fitness goals based on inaccurate self-assessments. It’s one thing to want to do something big; it’s another to have the physical preparation and commitment required to get there.

And while the OP could have potentially incorporated more lower-intensity preparatory hikes or clearer milestones early on, it doesn’t make cancelling their contract inherently wrong.

Fitness professionals aren’t obligated to complete a training plan that’s no longer safe or effective for their clients when those clients aren’t progressing or engaging with the preparatory work.

Calling the cancellation “phobic” or mocking reflects a misunderstanding of professional boundaries. Fitness and adventure coaching isn’t just about cheerleading; it’s about guiding people safely toward achievable goals, not delivering unrealistic expectations.

The OP refunded the session cost, acknowledged the mismatch, and chose not to continue a pattern unlikely to succeed for either party. That’s responsible professionalism, not abandonment.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These commenters focused on contracts, clarity, and setting firm expectations upfront

LisaW481 − Nta BUT you should have language in your contract that allows you to remove any hiker from a group

that is wearing inappropriate clothing/ shoes. Bad shoes for a serious hike is a bad idea and you should give yourself an out on it.

sephiroth3650 − INFO - Do you have any language written into your proposals/contracts to handle early termination of the hikes?

Like, if you were hired by somebody with a bad knee who insisted they wanted to do hikes that were probably above their level,

what would you do? Help them through it? Tell them no and cancel on them? Talk them down to a more realistic hike?

Or if you had a group of 65 year old first time hikers come in and want to do a plan that was above their fitness level, what would you...

Cancel on them?

2qwik2katch − INFO. I’m not a hiker. What kind of information do you advertise for your business?

Are there levels you sign up for? Are there descriptions saying what each level does and how hard it might be?

Was the information too vague for them? The reason I ask is maybe they didn’t know what they were getting into.

If you ask me if I hike I would say yes because well I trail run and go outdoors and do walks and run long miles at a time

and would consider myself physically fit. So maybe they didn’t understand what they were getting into.

To them a hike might have meant just a small walk through nature. Nothing hard. Just wondering.

This group backed OP’s professionalism and agreed safety outweighed business loss

pottersquash − NTA. It was obvious to me this wasn't going to work.

My initial thought to this was along the lines of "well that's not your call, let them try" but guess what? You are the expert.

Nothing in what you said made it seem like you were biased in your decision. You are losing money out on the gig.

I'm guessing you did everyone a favor. Sucks that you got blasted for doing whats right.

Delanes_Brain − NTA: You did your training based on what they said their skill levels were, which were obviously not at what they said.

They weren't taking it seriously and you were getting complaints from the get go.

You aren't there to walk them through a park to train for hiking, they can do that themselves.

If they scoffed at doing 1 hour walks every day to prepare, they aren't serious about wanting to train for a hike. You tried and were getting nothing in return....

bscross32 − NTA. And honestly, if one or more of them injured themselves, they'd probably blame you,

so you probably did the right thing washing your hands of the situation in a way that to me, did not come off as ignorant or biased.

These users stressed realism, personal responsibility, and respecting expert guidance

VeryAngryCNA − NTA - The head of the group was too stubborn to admit that her group was not truthful about their abilities.

You have the right to choose which clients you take on and which ones you don't.

As an overweight woman myself, I'd leave that group after that first hike.

They sounded so annoying. You are not obligated to give them three chances.

If you had given them three chances to start with then that same person would have said you should have given them four.

You are not an a__hole at all. You didn't walk up, see that they were overweight and walk away.

You tried to do what you were hired to do and they made your job very difficult.

You did not have to "power through" any of that.

Truthfully, I wouldn't be surprised if someone got hurt on a future hike because they're too proud to take advice from an expert.

greenwitchy − NTA. I'm overweight and did my 18th 14er yesterday (mt. yale! It was fun. )

I started out hiking places I found on dayhikesneardenver and eventually learned I loved the thrill of peakbagging.

I did my first 14er after a solid summer season building up, between long hikes,

strenuous elevation gain, some trail running, etc etc. I had to put in the work in between hikes.

you can do it if you're fat. but you have to want to do it, put in the work, and change your goals to fit your progress.

It sounds like they didn't, and you know how dangerous it can be when a storm rolls in and you're above treeline. You made the right call.

FastWalkingShortGuy − NTA - WOW. They wanted to work their way up to a 14er? I've only done one (Rainier),

and that was when I was in marathon-running shape and in my mid 20s, and I still had a rough time.

Sounds to me like you were entirely professional and honestly were keeping their safety paramount.

This group emphasized the group’s lack of discipline and refusal to train properly

[Reddit User] − NTA You tried to train them and give them exercises which they refused to do ("laughed incredulously").

They do not even have the discipline to eat resources (snacks) the proper way.

Your decision is ok and the best to keep them safe : someone not trained correctly trying to hit a hike is on the way for troubles

[Reddit User] − NTA! What else could you do, stroll around parks for 8 weeks and set them up to fail their challenge?

[Reddit User] − NTA. I'm an asthmatic plus size woman who's recovering from plantar fascitis that went undiagnosed for 5 years.

How the hell does it take 6 hours to hike 4 miles?!

This commenter agreed with OP but suggested adapting plans to preserve reputation

foodietravelventure − Nta, because they clearly lied on their forms, however, all you had to do to preserve your business

was to make them take short walks in the park or cut hikes into smaller portions.

Next time just ask them what they want and give it to them rather than insisting

they can't meet your expectations based on their embellished claims.

These commenters bluntly argued that fitness limits matter despite body positivity

[Reddit User] − NTA - F__phobic? No such thing. These women want to do a massive hike but call the basics strenuous.

These women and men who are over weight and unhealthy believe it is not their fault.

For the very few of them who have eating disorders and other conditions.

But to most it is them eating too much and not exercising. Nothing wrong with being fat.

But if you get freaked out and offended that not everything is for fat people, then you need to take a look at your life.

These people remind me of the ones who tried to get the cancer research ads stopped for being "F__phobic"

by saying the truth that obesity results in a higher chance of cancer.

VajazzleFraggle − NTA. The fact of the matter is these women are overweight.

You can hide behind body positivity all you like, but you can’t avoid the fact that being over weight puts a massive strain on your health.

What could have been a slow, steady training journey turned into a collision between goals and reality. Many readers sided with the guide, arguing that safety isn’t optional and honesty isn’t cruelty. Others wondered whether clearer framing might have softened the fallout.

Do you think cancelling was the responsible call, or should the guide have reshaped the program entirely? Where should professionals draw the line between encouragement and risk? Share your take below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 99/110 votes | 90%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 1/110 votes | 1%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 1/110 votes | 1%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 6/110 votes | 5%
Need More INFO (INFO) 3/110 votes | 3%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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