We often hear that success is the best revenge. Usually, we imagine that our family members would be our loudest cheerleaders when we make it big. But for one Redditor, climbing the career ladder and moving away to a beautiful city became a reason for punishment rather than a reason to celebrate.
He was the brother who paid the bills, funded renovations, and visited constantly. Despite his kindness, he found himself iced out of his twin brother’s biggest life moments. This story explores how a mother’s resentment can quietly poison a whole family. It shows us what happens when someone decides they have finally had enough of being the family’s personal ATM.
Let us dive into the update that has everyone talking about boundaries and blood.
The Story
Update:
This update is truly a wild ride through family dynamics. It is so difficult to read about a son who genuinely tried his best to stay connected. He visited monthly and helped with mortgages, yet he was still treated as a stranger. It feels very heavy to think about a mother spending years whispering negative things to her other children.
Seeing the original poster take back his power is quite a relief. There is something very symbolic about cutting off the Disney+ and internet bills. It is a quiet way of saying the support has officially ended. I feel for him as he realizes his family has used him for a long time. It is a brave thing to walk away from people who only value your wallet. Transitioning to a professional look at these patterns reveals why mothers sometimes act this way.
Expert Opinion
This heartbreaking situation is a clear example of what experts call “enmeshment” and “triangulation.” In healthy families, a child’s independence is celebrated. In some families, a child leaving the “nest” is viewed as a betrayal of the group.
A study from Psychology Today explains that parents with narcissistic traits often view a successful child as a threat. They might feel that the child’s success makes them look bad or highlights their own lacks. This often leads to “smear campaigns.” The parent tells others a biased story to make themselves the victim.
According to experts at The Gottman Institute, healthy relationships rely on mutual respect and shared support. When one person provides all the financial help while the others provide only criticism, the relationship is fundamentally broken. The son in this story was giving “bids for connection” through gifts. Unfortunately, his family viewed those gifts as a chance to feel resentful.
Sociological research on “the cost of success” in family structures suggests that wealth can create a gap. This gap is often filled with jealousy if the family has a fixed mindset. A parent might feel their authority is weakened if they can no longer control the child’s finances.
Dr. Sherrie Campbell, a psychologist specializing in toxic family dynamics, notes that cutting contact is sometimes the only path to peace. “You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick,” she says. The father’s silence is also a factor. Being complicit in a mother’s manipulation is another form of neglect. By walking away, the son is finally choosing his own mental health over a family that refuses to see his value.
Community Opinions
Netizens were completely on the side of the original poster. They encouraged him to stay strong and maintain his new boundaries.
The community expressed confusion about the mother’s illogical plan to win back her son.
Commenters praised the OP for realizing he was being used as a financial resource.
Some pointed out that the father’s silence was a choice and a form of betrayal.
Readers shared encouragement for choosing a “found family” over a biological one.
How to Navigate a Situation Like This
If you feel like you are the “outcast” of your family because of your life choices, please be gentle with yourself. You have the right to grow and flourish away from your hometown. Establishing firm boundaries is a necessary act of self-care.
Try to communicate your feelings clearly once, as the OP did. If the behavior does not change, it is okay to limit contact. Remember that being a “provider” does not give people the right to treat you poorly. Surround yourself with friends and mentors who value your presence rather than just your paycheck.
Conclusion
In the end, this story shows that the people who raised us are not always the people who will celebrate us. Walking away from family is a heart-wrenching choice. However, choosing your own happiness is sometimes the only way to live a full life.
What is your take on this twin’s decision to stop the financial support? Have you ever felt like a “punching bag” for your own relatives? We would love to hear your thoughts and your own tips for finding a chosen family that loves you for who you are.
